Dilemma

Oh Christmas the time for cheer, giving and family. Why is there always so much pressure around this time of year. The hardest thing for me is the idea that people can walk all over you, treat you poorly and call you names but as soon as Dec 25 comes along its supposed to be water under the bridge. I am a pretty stubborn person by nature. Damn you my Russian and Italian genes. Throw into the mix a newborn and we have a great recipe for disaster.

Of course I would be talking about the in-laws. Why not right? First Christmas as Newlyweds and with our son so of course there is going to be problems. What exactly do I mean well in order to clarify we need to rewind to back to this summer….

Around June of this year my family dr noticed the proteins in my urine and my high blood pressure. She of course referred me to a high risk obstetrician and for more blood and urine testing. She explained the risks but told me as long as it was being watched we would be fine but we also needed to assess the severity. All I heard was that I had kidney failure and that there was a chance I would never hold my son (at the time I had no idea how real that outcome actually was). I vented to a close friend who tried to keep me calm. I am however an extremist.

There is one more piece to this storey. My sister in law has suffered from liver failure and has had numerous surgeries. Unfortunately because of her surgeries she can no longer have children. Combine that with my hubby being told he couldn’t have children you have a situation where my in-laws believed they were never going to have grandbabies…heartbreaking yes until you hold our little miracle.

Back to June…during my hysteria (I know not good for our baby) while talking to my girlfriend my sister in law started messaging me. It is so super hard to explain the next bit without divulging in to much information but I will try. Without slandering his sister, she does not work (no worries there because she is on disability because of her illness) but she frequently stays at different guys houses when her parents have had enough (shes in her 30’s) and kick her out. She also smokes a large quantity of marijuana (doctor prescribed). Not really the ideal situation but she is family. Because she can no longer have babies she is very excited to be an Aunt. I get that super awesome situation for her being an Auntie but I am also his mom. I told her that given her current situation would not be an ideal environment for him to be in the random men and drugs. I know super blunt and kindof insensitive no exscuses but then she went off. She told me she was going to get her brother to divorce me and take my son. That she hopes that it drives me crazy and I end up in the nuthouse. Uhmmmm what? I told her over my dead body would she ever meet my son. I know not super realistic but it all still feels so fresh. Now given how my son entered the world I am even more sensitive to his health and well being. I really dont want to spend Christmas with my sister in law until she apologizes. Even though I know it means nothing I still want to hear it because I don’t trust her. So here we are at a standstill and days away from Christmas. I do not want to hurt his parents or ruin his first Christmas but I just don’t know how to swallow my pride and get through it.

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