I know my blog is so all over the place. The main thing for me is it is just a platform for me to share and express how I am feeling without overwhelming or upsetting anybody. I know how busy everybody is in their lives so I would hate to be a burden.
Lately life has seemed to be a little bit more in control. Of course this new love and new fear that envelopes me is still there. Still is the driving force behind what I do.
This week has been good. I went to Fabricland to take advantage of the last of their sale. I stocked up on needles, thread, zippers and clasps. And of course some fabric to make these gathered skirts I love. My hubby took me to Michael’s to take advantage of their sale where I got scissors, shears, yard and measuring sticks. And the final piece was him taking me to the thrift store to find vintage finds to complement the skirts I am making ❤
The only other obstacle is how much weight I gained during this pregnancy. I gained over 100 pounds. I was good the weight was coming off nice and now it seems to be gaining. At therapy yesterday in between my tears I blurted out that my looks define me. I have never said those words out loud before. I had no idea that I felt this way. No wonder why I beat myself up. I look in the mirror and the fact I dont see my bikini body looking back at me I rip myself to shreds. I really am my own worst enemy. Now I am forced with this incredible task of loving who I am, loving my own body and being a little bit more kind and forgiving. Yes I am a mom and yes my son’s health is important to me but now I see that the relationship I have with myself is what will damage not only my relationship but how my son will grow up and appreciate people.
So I may have started this blog with it being all over the place but now I am going to use it as a place to be accountable and love myself and be more gentle. How can I fully love those around me till I love myself.
This morning I have already done my yoga and after snuggles with the lil man I will do my 7 minute HIIT workout and hopefully go for a walk when my husband gets up and get my 10000 steps in. Hopefully I can get some reading in and just generally have a great day.
Love y’all xoxo