Absence

How can it be almost 5 months already? Why do my eyes fill with tears the moment I think of him? Soul mates can mean so many things for so many different people but here what I do know. My core moves when I think of him. My heart longs for just one sight, smell, feel of his heartbeat. He makes my soul whole and that piece will always be gone. He was more than our cat he was our family, he was our angel that glued us all together. He still is the glue that bonds my family together. I watched each of my cats grieve in their own way. Slept in Herbert’s places and even slept in his positions we were all just different.

The hardest part for me was when my husband had to leave for work. I had to be my family’s backbone when my heart just felt shattered. I was the matriarch who had to keep it together. Oh I did but when baby slept so did I. I couldn’t eat I just cried. It was hard putting on a smile cuz I knew my baby needed my positive energy.

Sometimes we just need a break a moment of clarity to just be still and absorb the feelings and energy we need to move forward. I can still feel sadness when I think of such a sweet gentle soul. I need to constantly remind myself that it’s ok. But I also must remember how he touched our lives, his being enriched us all and even in his absence he has helped our family move forward and constantly remember to take in the stillness and patiently await for it to become our strength.

xoxo

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