Time

With the absence of time we no longer have to be accountable for anything that we will put forth in this life. Time is our measurement of life well lived. It doesn’t necessarily mean quantity but this would be an exact scenario of quality. Without time there is no pressure, no ridicule for not “living” your life that others deem necessary. You see without time would we in fact even exist in this reality. There has to be something in which to measure by. At least that is my reality. I have so much to cram into a 24 hour period only to go to sleep, wake up an do it all again. If you aren’t living the life that fills you with passion I suggest you work on that as time keeps slipping on by. The phrase you are never getting any younger will always be true. You can never be younger than you are this moment but you can be wiser.
With the loss of time also becomes all the other pressures that come with it. If you are single you wish you weren’t, if you are married you wish you were single, with every grey hair you cringe even more which brings out those crows feet and the perception of beauty is something that society never waivers on. Since the beginning of time we always recognized beauty, well outward beauty. We are obsessed with turning back the clock, vanity it seems to be its own worst evil. I used to be that one who couldn’t stand the sight of grey hairs, who would use every anti-aging cream on the market, if you promised to erase time…SIGN ME UP!!! I used to obsess over the reflection in the mirror and every chance that I could catch a glimpse I would be checking to see if my hair is out of place or heaven forbid there was lipstick on my teeth.
Now that I am a mom the most important time in my day is the hours my Schmoo is awake till the time he goes to sleep. I get to see the world through his eyes. Yesterday when we were shopping with Nana my son had a way of bringing a smile to everybody’s face. He would light up the room and the room would respond. That lil man opened the gateway for me to be able to interact with my surroundings. I had a reason to engage strangers in a conversation, I in turn just had to smile. It’s true what they say smiling is addicting and who wouldn’t want to live in a world like that.
A part of my day is always getting dressed and ready for success. Isn’t that what they say dress for the life you want to live? Having my hair, makeup appropriate attire on always lifts my moods, and I think it also helps others to approach me (or at least stare so I can approach them lol). I am always very aware of their space and time but we all have a journey and if my path crosses yours I am always going to try and get to know you. My time with you becomes an important part of my storey so I always make time for everybody that I meet. You never know when you might leave a positive imprint on somebody else’s life path.
Time has also led me to grow and has brought me to this exact moment in my life that I have always dreamed of. I have never had more of a sense of self than I have in this moment. Taking the time to fully be present in your surroundings allows you to make choices that will either benefit or hinder where you want to go. Once you find your path everything else just becomes this amazing bonus that you never knew existed. Sometimes though you may take shortcuts and just like everything else those shortcuts will either have a negative or positive impact. Whether it is positive or negative it allows us the opportunity to grow and to build on our character. I am thirsty for knowledge to expand my mindset to be able to understand all species, all beings, to explore the possibility of what next.
Maybe today I am slowly filling up the last piece that has been missing from my puzzle. Yesterday after talking to my dad (the conversation began very real where for now I just need to bite my tongue) I felt very drained. Jeffrey noticed this almost immediately and walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me. The feeling that engulfed me when I finally got to have those feelings of love reciprocated are out of this world. It may be baby steps but they are baby steps in the right direction. There may have been a stolen kiss or two but my heart was feeling full in that moment and trickled into today. I sure do hope we keep building in the right direction. Rome wasn’t built in a day so why does our relationship have to be. We have our whole lifetime to build and grow as long as we stay committed to the process and our journey. When it comes to family they deserve all your Time in this World.

usxmas

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