The Darkness

When do you decide to finally leave all the negativity behind? What happens when the person you were born to love and respect becomes the darkness you were trying to avoid? What if the darkness was keeping them from seeing the world around them? The fear of finally being able to let go or just let the relationship that was supposed to be laid in front of us by nature just becomes a path of eggshells that we will forever have to dance around in fear of upsetting the other.
You see I had a very upsetting phone call with somebody I was once close with, somebody I thought I had always respected, somebody I will only refer to now as the darkness.
Nobody knows the exact moment when every ounce a light gets squeezed out of someone before the darkness has fully taken over. They have no sense of reality no idea what’s real or what’s fake. Their misguided perception of life and it’s meaning will work like a slow poinson once one is exposed. The only way to protect yourself from the venom of darkness is to keep the light within you, know what’s true and have no fear. The darkness feeds off of itself like a cancer it infects all that it comes into contact the only antedote is a life lived with purpose, balance and soul.
The venom spewed in one conversation was out of this world. The poison was attacking those that I loved uttering words of hate, evil and lies. That’s the purpose of poison to work its way in, slowly and surely and eventually killing its host and like every being who fights for survival it will move onto it’s next host and like a contagious disease it spreads.

adult alone backlit black and white
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The Amy in me wants to yell to scream it’s not true. The arrogance it takes to repeat words that you know aren’t true. The Sweet Ruby bit my tongue and listened in silence. Knowledge is the only thing that gives you the upper hand. Reading, absorbing and continuously practicing what is right from wrong is the best life to live. Doesn’t it make sense to learn from others that have lived their lives before us. They say history repeats itself and eventually this is true. They encourage us to learn from the mistakes of the past and we are. The problem I see is that we have focused on having everything readily accessible we have forgotten how to connect with each other. It takes more than a swipe, click or wave to capture anybody’s attention. Any time we show any weakness it allows for negativity to creep in. The problem I am experiencing is I so dearly want to cut out all the negative energy around me and I feel like I have been doing that. Right now though I don’t think I am able to pull the ripcord on that one yet. I know my destiny is to love this darkness but at a distance at a safe spot where I won’t become infected.
close up of couple holding hands
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Now on to the love life…it seems we are slowly connecting on a deeper level. It feels good to have this opportunity with him. My heart really does swell when we are having good moments together. There was only one incidence over or new (vintage) popcorn maker last night. I googled it and it said 1/3 cup so here I was 45 in and no popcorn. MY hubby brought it to my attention that 1/3 c of oil was way too much and to throw it all out and to not have popcorn tonight. I told him I could drain it, he said no, then of course because I was jinxed I got oil everywhere and he got mad. The popcorn did pop with less oil and I cleaned up all the oil after cleaning the house so no big deal right? Wrong it is always a big deal in hubby’s world. One day at a time right…there was a lil bit of snuggles though so that it is amazing ❤ Oh and I asked hubby if maybe there was a way if we could swing us all going to Vancouver for a few nights because he deserves a break too….***fingers crossed***
cats

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