Baby #2

Happy Friday Darlings thank you for checking in. As always I appreciate your love, support and friendship. Only together on a unified front can we make a change. My decision to open up and share in my journey was for alot of reasons. One day I hope to write a book to inspire our young women to correct their path therefore changing their storey line. And two to hold me accountable. So many times I have thought I was doing the right thing but unsure. I have since learned that the answers I have been searching for have been in front of me the whole time. As I continue to leave my doors open and leave me vulnerable to the outside world some of the most incredible people I have met have only recently passed threw. I know that I also gain strength that those who enter passed those doors usually stay. It is in those moments when those people who are meant to be in your circle finally make their way that the bond gets stronger and I have more confidence in myself.
As I divulge into my next wonderings of the possibility of having another child I already know what you are all thinking (I am gonna ask if I can share my hubby’s storey this weekend that way the advice I am seeking isn’t just one sided). I opened up about the rockiness of our relationship because of my strong desire to change it. This man is so incredible in the selfless way he sacrifices his mind, body and soul to provide for us. Right now he is working 7 days a week mostly 12 hours a day and that has to mee the high demands that I am constantly putting on him. Before you question what I am saying I will give you an example: Last Sunday being the somewhat spoiled lil brat that I can be (just as my family they were present when I was a child) I grew incredibly restless at home. I went for a walk with the boys (Schmoo and B) and just got lot lost in a world of Facebook Marketplace. I have friends who can attest to this as well. By the time he was done work I had purchased several items all over the city that I needed to get to. My hubby although upset decided to go and pick up my purchases. I had no idea that where he had to go would take him to each far corner of the city. He agreed to go because he knew my driving skills here in Alberta are not very good, I am directionally challenged and it would save on gas because he was already in the City. When he got home he was very irritated as would anybody. Part of the reason why I didn’t want to be a full time stay at home mom is I knew I would miss the freedom of being able to shop. In my mind I justify it by being able to say I bought it second hand or it’s one of a kind. This is just another fancy way of saying it’s vintage and probably a little pricier. With vintage though comes quality. Take my new to me patio furniture, its made in Quebec ❤ ) I love having that piece of history and thinking about the family who bought it brand new and how incredible they feel.
More to that for those of you who think setting up a non-profit is easy it actually is very time consumming as well. The best part though is I am free to work at home whenever the time allows and as of right now there is no deadlines. I am loving getting out and getting to know my community. I had no idea how fulfilling it can be.
So now baby #2…As Schmoo's 18 months creeps in so does all the conversations I had the Dr's while in care. They all stressed the importance of not getting pregnant before the 18 months were up. My body needy to recover from the severity of being pregnant the last time. Hormones needed to stop their ever surge and my blood pressure had to be consistently within a normal range. Also my journey for weight loss probably should have been more important. I gained over 100 pounds in my last pregnancy. I knew that it would become incredibly important to lose the weight before trying again. My blood pressure was through the roof. It took two different types of high dosage pills to get it back in check.
The first step is of course the all mighty physcial. I went into the Dr's on Wed with my MIL. It was kindof funny because well she used to be kindof against the whole idea. Somehow though I think she kindof likes the idea of another grandbaby. My Dr checked my blood pressure and weight and sent me off for some blood work (shouldve had it done by now). Then two days after that I need to go in. My weight is down by about 100 pounds. I think it may need another 10-15 pounds. This time around I hope to be super healthy. Maybe explore organic, more humane way of eating. There is no way the way we treat any being animal or plant can provide us with good healthy cells for our bodies and therefore my new offsprings cells. If cells are the building blocks of life then I just want to ensure that I am treating all life equally reponsible. It is going to be my little experiment. To see if I can gain a healthier style of living of just being you know. I just really want to get in a space where we all matter equally.
With that I want to continue nurturing my mind. I have this thirst of knowledge that only seems to be quenched when I begin to dibulge in worlds that had at one time existed but for one reason or another the tales become even harder to come by. To say I have alot on the go may be an understatement. I just bought a whole bunch of materials for this upcoming car show/farmers market season. The reality of it all is I don't feel "busy". I feel incredibly fulfilled. As my days seem to collide into one I have to stay on top of balancing it all. I try and get outside with Schmoo and our Dog to go for a walk to get the fresh air and soak in the sunshine. It really is a great life that I am very lucky to be a part of. I couldn't ask for much mor so why push or luck with Baby #2?
When I think of the possibility of adding to my family something just seems to feel more complete. Maybe its because he is working more but it does seem to be that we are growing more patient with each other. We won't be jumping into anything and it is a good idea to go in for a physical every once in awhile.
I started this post as soon as I got up in the morning and here I am typing away an hour before midnight. Life just has a way from getting away from you sometimes. You never where this whole journey may end up. I try to listen to the signs and see where it takes me. I feel that I am on the right path. I am so happy to have you around for the ride. xo

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