Message from Beyond

This is it. The day is almost here where I make my first public appearance as Sweet Ruby Bluez. I can’t believe it is almost here. The idea was born pretty much two years ago that I wanted to make a difference somehow someway and here I am. To some it is a little crazy to be this excited about something so small but to me it’s a stepping stone to something more. I took so many obstacles and worked my way around them. Slowly but surely I begin to build something that I wanted to last that I wanted to make an impact. I am so blessed for this remarkable journey and all the lessons that came my way. Today, well today was something short of a miracle let me share my day with you.
Today began just like any other day. I decide to spend as much time as I could basking in my sons presence and enjoying all that is him. At around 10:30 I signed in to our members only Medium line. I know what you are thinking but I just feel like maybe if I got some answers or guidance maybe it would make the pictures more clear. I listened half heartedly as the first two callers got through. Still trying to pay attention to Schmoo and the medium I heard the cue to call in. Her voice and what I was seeing definetly didn’t match but there I was talking to her live on Facebook I got through.
At first you do a grounding exercise and let the presence of spirit speak through her. Right away she was taken aback by the amount of knowledge (pieces of puzzle as she calls it) that came forward and she told me that there were two women coming forward that appeared to be mother and daughter. I knew immediately who they were. They were my Grandmother and Great Grandmother. I didn’t need validation of who they were because I had just hung both of their pictures in my house. They both indicated how truly proud of me they were, that they had been right beside me through all my struggles. Even know my loneliness and what at first seems like depression is only temporary to allow me a period in which to grow.
Everything she was saying was ringing true almost like they were both there beside me. We then talked about my trip on our anniversary and how I had hoped it would help rekindle our relationship. The medium indicated that she didn’t see it ending the way that I had hoped and that she only saw it ending in heart break. She also referred of me needing to finally close the door on the past and to work on what appears to be a loveless marriage.
When somebody seems to tell you all of your worst fears without even truly knowing you it does really make you stop and think. Something that I had always struggled with is right before I met my husband I thought I was in love with somebody else. I even flew to Vancouver to try to be with him and he stood me up. I vowed that that would be the last time that I would ever travel there to be with him (he did this more than once over a period of years. I guess you could say he was always the one that got away and always made me think).
That is why I was onthe dating site. I was so desperately trying to find somebody to help me get over him.
When Jefferey entered my life he was so very different than any guy that I ever met before. He was kind, generous, patient…totally the opposite of my type. As each day passed I felt a piece of my heart return and was able to reciprocate his love back. Things between us were amazing. We were married had our baby and one would say it would be time for us to drift on off with the sunset right? I wish. Shortly after the birth of our son that one who got away entered my life. He told me how wrong he was, that he truly loved me and he wished that after all these years we could finally be together. I never lied to him about being married or having a baby but I didn’t stop our conversations from happening. Somewhere inside of me I wanted to keep him in my back pocket just in case. It’s that keeping a piece of your heart away from somebody that really prevents you from falling in love.
You see at first when the physchic told me to close the door on the past I automatically only heard what I thought I wanted to hear. I let the message that I heard resonate inside of me. I knew I couldn’t stay in a loveless marriage for me, my hubby and my son. There was only one thing left to do. I made the decision to be 110% honest with my husband. I told him everything. The feelings how I hid it and how I felt shame. I never ever wanted to break up my family. I never would’ve cheated or hurt my husband in son in that way. What I was doing though was keeping my self emotionally unavailable and that was part of the reason why we were in so much trouble. I say part because it takes 2 to tango.
So here it is on the eve of my first public appearance of Sweet Ruby Bluez and all my demons, ghosts and spirits from the past are at peace. I feel that I am way closer than ever to being on that right track. The message I got from the medium was exactly what I needed to hear in this moment. That my Grandma is with me and she is still protecting me. I knew I could feel her it just felt so good to hear somebody else say it too.
2d (amy with grandma)

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