The Breakup

In today’s modernized world it seems that the Breakup is the greatest contingency plan that we all carry in our back pockets. Afraid to committ, afraid of not getting our way, afraid of losing who we are…are the one of millions exscuses we get when our significant other moves on. In some cases we are blindsided, in others we see it coming and in the most appaling cases we get ghosted (the internets way of just vanishing into thin air).
It has always been incredibly hard for me to let go and appreciate my new family and relationship. In a world where it is easier to give up and just by the newest, coolest model seems to be the norm these days. No wonder why we seem so jagged and far apart from each other. With our newest conquest at the reach of our fingertips its a wonder why we aren’t able to stay committed to one. We have evolved love into so many shapes, forms and colors and have defined it in a million different ways. With the definition of love being different to each and every one of us its a scarey time to be in a relationship.
Trust and honesty are no longer staples in a relationship but instant gratification and fulfillment. We keep looking for that ideal mate to fit into a mold but get continuously dissappointed. How can one let go in today’s day and age and truly feel free to love. The answer is right in front of us. The pain that one feels when going through the breakup is one of abandonment and betrayal, somewhere along the line we lost our way and our identity. Becoming somebody we don’t recognize to keep our partner happy. Losing our identity in order to become what we think is the missing piece. When we begin to do this it is so gradual that we barely notice that anything has changed. It is only when you see yourself at the other side of the rainbow that the skies aren’t as blue. Giving yourself completely to your partner is the most selfless and rewarding act that you can do. It is a lifelong committment a promise to always be there no matter where the journey takes you. If you don’t have a sense of contement and peace amongst yourself that the only feeling that is left to surface is resentment, fear and greed.

person s left hand
Photo by Raphael Brasileiro on

It is in every humans nature to want to survive and when faced with a breakup we all feel like we can’t go on. The wind is out of our sails, the sky has opened up and we are filled with a dread and fear of never being happy or finding a partner again. There are so many ways that one should be validating their existence and in none of those scenarios are we defined by who we are with. Yes they are a reflection of our best self so it stands to reason if we search deep within in ourselves wouldn’t that reflection we see staring back at us also benefit. It is hard to define yourself seperate from your mate but it is essential in order to survive. Engage in activities that make you feel fulfilled. Keep rewarding and nurturing yourself. There are millions of ways in which to do this. For me it is being a good housewife and mother, being involved in my community and not being scared to make a change and engaging in activities I feel make me a better more rounded human. Right now I am working on my Non-Profit, trying to read for knowledge, and my gardening. Those are just to name a few.
Me and my hubby aren’t on a verge of a break up but the fear is always there. I have been left for some of the dumbest reasons, just like I have left for even sillier ones. There is alot that we both need to work on in order to be the happiest family. Sometimes I don’t think he is listening and he feels the same way about me. All I know that in this moment and in this space whatever it is we are we are both committed to each other. With him working long hours and having a hellish work week it leaves me to keep the house and animals all in order. I am having a little bit of difficulty keeping up with what I need to thrive but so is he. Being able to show compasssion to how exhausted he is leaves me with all the housework and spending time with Schmoo. That is all part of the job description though isn’t it? I hate calling what I do I job though. I get endless cuddles from my boy, our dog and the cats. We get to bake and cook and explore the world together. It is now way easier because we have our own vehicle so I am excited for all the new doors that being mobile brings to us.
person walking on road
Photo by Quang Nguyen Vinh on

I watched this movie on Netflix called, “Someone Great”. Isn’t it funny I started this post before I laid down with my son and happened across this movie. It’s so crazy to think that most of us experience this scenario in one shape or another. Long gone are the relationships that stand the test of time. More and more relationships are put through the ringer. Social media has influenced our ability to make decisions and we find ourselves in a whirlpool of wanting to be accepted and liked. All of that acceptance and love is coming from an outside place. The nurturing really needs to start at home. We are all growing and maturing with the passing of time and it would be so reassuring if one of those things that wasn’t constantly put on the back burner was the relationship and work that when combined makes the world a much easier place. If only we could all be on the same page when the transition takes place. I guess that is why we are told to find somebody we have something in common with. Being able to survive is alot more than just finding somebody you have something in common with. You need to find that person that you can’t live without. I am always super frustrated at my husband. Well for the most part lol Our journey in finding ourselves has been super complex. I have always searched for the answers within myself and I think I have found a formula that I think will work. Embrace who you are and all the things you are about to be. This is your journey and only you are free to make the right choices for you. Only you hold the key to it all. Unlock the door to loving yourself and every heartbreak will hurt a bit less beccause in it’s place you have security and love.
So for any of you doubting your worth…don’t. There is something inside of you just waiting to sparkle. Like it has been said a coal is faced with extreme pressure before turning into a diamond. The same is true for us. Every roadbump, obstacle, fork in the road makes you even stronger on the other side. It’s ok to cry, grieve and try to search for answers. The answer you should be looking for is what makes you tick? What makes your heart sing? What made you smile before the Universe took it away? We are all in this ride together so having an open heart and mind will all help us enjoy that ride together. I am creating a space that is full with life, laughter and love. A place where everybody is welcome to just explore who they are in a safe place. Free from judgement, rich in love noboy deserves to be on any journey on their own. Unless it is one that is needed for further reflection and in order to grow. I am always here with open arms and heart waiting to help you explore and navigate throughtout this crazy existence.
afterglow avian backlit birds
Photo by luizclas on

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