How to Hepburn

In the book, “How to Hepburn” (Lessons of Living from Kate the Great) by Karen Karbo there are alot of interesting points that really get your brain thinking. There are were two particular interesting excerpts that really got me thinking. Chapter 3, The necessessity of having an aviator in your life is particularly interesting on her take of having friends. There are several type of friendships outlined below:
1) The Laura Harding: Quite simply this friend is your sidekick friend (mention to if she is more than your friend is entirely your business 😉 ). She is your biggest fan. The Laura Harding friend is the one that goes alone with all of your ideas, even then ones that can land you behind bars. Valuing the bond between the two you will allow her to make some of the decisions so that she doesn’t think you are a complete demanding monster. Your sidekick is just that. You share alot in common and pass time in a similiar fashion. Hanging out together is always a good time and there is no drama between the two.
2) The Phelpie: This type of friendship is extremely rare and some may never experience this type of friendship in their life. The Phelpie is named after the forgotten poet H. Phelps Putman. When it came to Hepburn there was no muse that could compare in his eyes. Even though he was married he would leave his ailing wife up in the actic just to bask in all thing Hepburn. Some say Putman was tortured and melodramatic but one thing was for certain he definetly admired and worshipped the young Hepburn.
3) The Cukor: Named after classic Hollywood director George Cukor who at age 82 still direted a classic, “Rich and Famous”. The Cukor friendship is one you share a life long passion with. Many of great adventures are had with a Cukor friend. Chances of meeting this type of friend usually occur in College and in Art classes or even on a softball team. Usually this is where business partnerships are formed. Cukor once said, “My chief claim to fame was losing 72 pounds and firing Bette Davis.” He always seemed to overlook the fact that he was the one who inspired Katherine to get into moviemaking.
4) The Hayward-Hughes: The main function of this friendship is to produce adrenaline pumping adventure. Looking deeper into the relationship you can see they make terrible partners. They are usually dazzled by their own personalities, waste time, have very odd habits and can be extremely irritating when consummed in large doses.
The take on the different types of friendships and how and when they served Katherine is very interesting. It leads us to think that maybe we aren’t ment to walk this world alone and in addition to our spouses having great friends continue to challenge us and realize our true potential. Without a friend how will we know when to push on and keep trying or if that blouse really does match that skirt.
Being that the book is How to Hepburn there is a list on how to get your Hepburn on as well:
1. Have a credo: A credo should be poetic, upbeat, empowering and should make you think. Katherine’s credo was “Listen to the song of life” it was cut into the mantel of her childhood home. My credo would be “Be the person you were before the World took your smile.” Anytime I am doubting myself or think that mabybe the world doesn’t care or is listening. Stopping to think about that lil girl I used to be before I found out and experienced the evils of the World existed. I know it is there. I have felt its wrath. The little girl in me deserves to live a life that is more carefree and alive. To live in the shadows of death just waiting is no life to live. Being bold enough to come out of the darkness and embrace everything you are is truly the only way to be.
2. Find yourself fascinating: If you are not interested in who you are as a person and what you bring to the table why on Earth would you expect anybody else to be. Be fascinated by yourself. It is possible to take you own breath away and take a leap a faith and live the life you always dreamed.
3. Find a sport: Hepburn lived almost to be 100 with her love of swimming, golf and tennis. She was extraordinairre when it came to her athletiscm. For now I will have comfort in the fat that I enjoy walking with my son everyday and taking the dog. Based on this lil tidbit I hear ladies curling league calling my name….
4. Say what you think: I think alot of us are taught that if we don’t have something nice to not say anything at all. That statement is very true. Why would you go out of your way to hurt somebody else. However there is alot of weight to be said to saying what you think. If you spend alot of your time trying to come up with a way a storey you are on the fastest track to losing the essence of what makes us who we are. It is best to say what YOU are thinking. Whatever it is you have to say it is coming from you and not a version of you you are trying to get somebody to like or agree with.
5. Don’t confuse self improvement with self remodeling: Some people are constantly reinventing who they are without truly asking themselves what would make them tick. Getting on board with every little trend is the fastest way to lose yourself. Improvement better prepares you for your future and usually takes you acquiring a skill. Remodeling is as simple as a new outfit or new hairdo. It does nothing to reach your internal soul.
6. Realize you can go forward blindly: You don’t need all the answers to be successful. The saying, “Fake it to you make it” also implies really well here.
7. Assume the answer is no, unless you can find a reason to say yes: If you are always saying yes that leads very little time for yourself. It is in some peoples nature to always want to be the agreeable one. You should only say yes when you couldn’t think of a reason to keep saying no.
8. Be Frugal: Hepburn was lucky that her father managed her money well into her 50’s. For the rest of us that means putting ourselves on a healthy budget. We must always save for a rainy day so we don’t have to end up taking on jobs just to make ends meet that we have little or no passion for.
9. Strive to fully inhabit your life: You need to be fully active and present in your life. Don’t be scared to take chances or risks. Any dream is worth living for. Be an active participant and never look back.
10. Prefer dark chocolate: The simple way of saying be fully aware and conscious of what you are putting into your body. Fill your diet with nurtients, fruits and veggies. I definetly need to work on this one.
11. Develop a concept of fun that includes not just play, but work: Everybody knows that if you love your job you never work a day in your life. Try and find fun ways to accomplish even the most mundane of tasks. I make cleaning fun by dancing with my son and listening to music. Whatever floats your boat the more things that you enjoy the more fun you will have.
12. Find danger exhilarating: Being able to fully experience a stimulating rush there is no feeling in the world. To fully be able to participate in an activity that leave you flushed, breathles and sweaty is incredible. This is another area I could embrace. I am just super terrified of heights.
13. Mast the Headstand, and Keep the Skill Sharp as Long as Possible: Can you believe that at 84 she could still stand on her head, walk on her hands and perform a one and a half tuck dive.
14. Wear Sunscreen: No matter who you are if you bake in the sun without sunscreen you will pay the ultimate price when you begin to age. It didn’t take long before Hepburns skin was shot…40 to be exact.
15. WEAR SUNSCREEN: Probably should have been #1. Did you know she suffered from melanoma too?
16. Find the type of clothes you feel best in and never take them off: No matter what you wear color, fabric, style nobody can ever put you in a bad mood. Your clothing becomes your armour and you are free to embrace the world for all its glory.
17. Cold Baths, Pros and Cons: Somewhere somebody believed that these blue lipped baths would be good for your circulation amongst other things. I have jumped in the snow or taken a plunge but that was only when there were hot springs around. Maybe a one off could bath would be alright but definetly not an everyday occurance.
18. Surprise the world and yourself by enjoying a good cry: I love the way a good cry cleanses your sould. The feel of release as the emotional wave takes over and rolls over you. When done the right away and embraced properly a good cry can provide a good comfort.
19. Waste time: You can’t work your whole life and we all need that moment where we just be. Staring out the window absorbing the nothingness. It’s ok to let the time slip by.
20. Never pass up the opportunity to give someone a good sock on the jaw. Sometimes people just need the right punch in the right direction to get them moving. Make sure they really deserve it before you go this route.
21. Care for Someone Who Doesn’t Deserve it: In the end truly caring for somebody is it’s own best reward. In time you will earn yourself the biggest reward. The love and respect from your continuous devotion.
22. Make it Count.
If we all just lived our lives free of judgement and content. If we took pride in ourselves and the way we conducting ourselves with others and with ourselves. Hepburn was an icon who taught us it was better to be a legend in your eyes then to fade away in the eyes of many.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Thank you for such inspirational words. My favourite is #12. I think of myself as brave – I do things that make me nervous or even scared knowing it is never as bad as I imagine and there is usually a great payoff in some form or another (personal growth for example), but it never occured to me to embrace the fear as a positive experience!


    1. You are welcome ❤ Fear in the right capacity can help us blossom. I need to embrace healthy fear more. Baby steps right?


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