Is 40 The New 20? Are you ever too old to recreate yourself?

The road of self discovery is a very challenging road to find yourself on. Not only are you on a path that you have never been before but chances are this is a journey you are taking alone.
Maybe you found yourself here after burning all your bridges. Maybe it’s the concept of time that has you reflecting back on your journey so far. Maybe it’s a strong desire to change and push yourself to your limits and beyond just to see what you are truly capable of. I like to think that I am fully present in my life. The more I discover about myself and the world the clearer the picture becomes on the path that I need to take. Alot of what we learn in this life comes from experience and from the ability of taking a chance. Always remember it is in every living beings DNA to want to survive. We will all do what is necessary to ensure that we live these long prosperous lives…or do we? More often than not when I take a second to exhale and appreciate what is around me I notice that not only have we erected these concrete jungles in which we expect each other to thrive in we are all stuck in this proverbial hamster wheel.
“Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination, our purpose in life. The road will not always be smooth; in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many challenges.”
It wasn’t until I had the opportunity to truly take a step back and look at my life. On the surface everything looked as it should. A happy family, with a picket fence, a dog, several cats and a bright and handsome boy. Deep inside my core I was filled with so much anxiety and stress. I have always desired a family since I was a little girl. Growing up was the best and I loved everything about our life. My sisters, cousins, mom and dad. We grew up surrounded by so much love and family that of course it made sense to desire the same in my adulthood.
If there is one hard lesson that I learned is that life doesn’t always take us wehre we want to go. The direction that we all go on is determined on our choices and where we are at that time in our lives. Everybody has an opinion as time marches on. I have never had so much advice, blind dates, sympathy etc. I grew used to watching my friends get married and have babies. As much as I wanted to force the issue I couldn’t deny that nothing ever felt right. I know naturally I am picky so I did start to let my guard down. Never desiring to settle I just wanted to see what my choices were. Did you ever desire for something in your life that it just seemed to crmble with every chance that passed. Destiny is never meant to be enforced but embraced. Knowing that maybe my Prince Charming was riding in the wrong direction on a donkey I started to look deep inside myself. Obviously my essence was exuding this aura that only seemed to attract the unsavoury. Not wanting to settle I did the only thing that made sense. I dug deep into myself and tried to reconnect with something that was lost long ago. If I wanted to see results I needed to see change and only I had the answer to that.
As I began to look at my direction of my life and begin to adjust accordingly it was like the Universe was listending to me. Just like I had hoped but had long given up it was like a unicorn was dropped right into my lap. Meeting my husband was a turning point in my life. Together we began to careene into this beautiful new direction of life where family became my centre again. Not wanting to every give up this new found feeling of euphoria I once again had to make the necessary changes to adapt to my new life.
With change comes resistance and a whole new way of being. There is alot of new insecurities that come with taking on a new role so we can only get out of it what we put in. I have had some practice being a girlfried before but never had I ever experienced being a wife and mother. A lot of people will tell you to let it flow natural and alot of that is true. The minute you define yourself as just a housewife or just a mother you will begin to have the feelings of despair. I can not express this enough. You have to keep nurturing your inner child, your inner essence that makes you unique. Imagine if you forgot to feed your children, your significant other or your pets. Your soul is just as important if not more. To truly find happiness you have to reconnect all the dots that you assumed long ago had no connection to who you are.
For me knowledge is power. Being able to see that throughout the space of time we have been forced with the same luxury as choice. Without freedome of choice we all begin to lose the identity of who we are. Nobody should ever have to be dictacted or controlled by anybody else. We live in a time where the people in power have stopped their desire to be better. To open their eyes and see a new way of living, of being. It is important to note that nobody’s opinion should ever matter. Unless of course your health and safety or the healthy and safety of others are at risk. What a time we live in. When nothing is sacred and that includes human life we really need to step back and think where did we go wrong in this journey that we are all blessed to share. Life is the ultimate gift and that doesn’t mean just yours…it means ours. Unfortunately freedom and choice are once again becoming things have the best. Like a hot commodity hopefully this chapter in time is only a blurb. Nobody’s life is greater than anybody else’s.
I can only truly be accountable for the journey I decide to take in this life. Hopefully somewhere along the way I can inspire and motivate others to do the same. I have made a committment to not only expand my horizons but to be an active player in my life. It is one thing to try and preach from the sidelines but until you actually stand up and take part how can you ever make an impact. Deciding to run my life like a mini Empire makes life fun. I am so much more than a stay at home mom and wife so my life should operate like I am a VIP or CEO of a very important company ME. Nobody should invest the time and energy into your life than you. Nobody has more to lose than you do so why not at least get up and try. Always being one to implement some habits in my life to see if it increases my productivity ( I will get back to this lol) I am giving myself a 30 day challenge.
Here is my 30 day challenge that I started today May 19, 2019 and will report back on June 19, 2019.
My primary objective is to become a more efficient housewife while being an active educator in my son’s life. My secondary objection is to raise $1,000 for the month of June for the highlighted non-profit of the month.
To achieve these objectives I will committ to the following for 30 days:
1. Awake each morning with my husband. That way our day starts together and I can work on the days tasks while my son is asleep.
2. Get ready as soon as my husband leaves. Feeling and looking your best go hand in hand. I am not kidding when I say I am sitting here at 7am on a Sunday morning with a full face of makeup and my hot rolls in my hair. I have always heard that you need to dress the part that you want to play in your life. My non profit personna relies heavily on my Pin-Up persona so I ful face of make-up is imperative. Dress for success even if your success is measured by your own smile.
3. Write down five goals for the day. Being productive and accountable on a consist day to day basis. Writing your goals down makes you accountable and also gives you a good starting point for the day.
4. Be prepared to wear many hats. We as women are a very unique breed. We have found a way to adapt to any and every situation. Accepting the fact that our role changes and evolves on what seems like a second to second basis will stop you from having to pull your hair out.
5. Be committed. When the decision was made that it made the most sense to stay at home I made a subconcious committment to myself that I will be the best wife and mother I can be. This has always been my choice. Being competitive I naturally found a way to be keep myself driven to being the best version of myself that I could be.
6. Always have faith. To achieve any sort of success you have to have faith. Faith is what gives you that push when you feel uncertain. There is a reason why they say “Leap of Faith”. As long as it is not life threatening taking that leap will be the biggest reward of your life. If you are sitting there thinking should I or shouldn’t I the answer is you should. Take that risk because tomorrow is not promised all we have is today. If you have had that thought then that seed deserves to be planted. I learned to always take the chance because in the end there is always a reward. It either goes exactly as you had wished or you learned something new. Either way that is a win.
7. Never stop learning. You owe it to yourself to never stop learning. There is so much vast knowledge out there that the world is literally our oyster. Why throw this amazing once in a life time opportunity away. There is so much in the World that I want to see and do.
After seeing some of the points it truly does make the most sense to run yourself as it’s own mini empire. You get to be your own boss and the benefits are amazing and so rewarding. For the first time in 40 years I am finally getting to know myself. For most people hitting the big 4-0 might give one the sweats. Maybe before hand it would have. I am very excited for the next 40 years. I could live without the wrinkles but I have begun to learn that my wrinkles mean I had something to laugh or cry about. My wrinkles are a mapping of everything I have experienced so far. I am no longer scared of the concept of time and what the future may hold. The fear that I have is that maybe I wasted the first half of my life being too consummed with the trivial part of life that when it all comes down to it truly doesn’t matter. For the most part I am just thankful that I have this opportunity to embrace the direction of my life so I can truly appreciate myself and all those in it.

depth of field photography of woman in pastel color sleeveless shirt and white sunhat
Photo by bruce mars on

5 Comments Add yours

  1. menda says:

    “Nobody should invest the time and energy into your life than you. Nobody has more to lose than you do so why not at least get up and try.”

    Should and shouldn’t, aren’t they pressurising norms?


    1. Some days are harder than others. The mentality is to get up everyday. Some are pressuring norms and others are just an unrealistic expectation of oneself.


  2. Om Prakash Khare says:



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