Maybe it’s me? 6 things we should all consider about ourselves.

Wow! What a lifetime. I never in my wildest imaginations would have ever thought it was possible to ever get here. Everything else up tp this point genuinely feels like a dream. I never could have guess thought after all this time that I could still evolve into a beautiful flower or maybe the analagy should be one of the beautiful oak tree that provides us security with just seeing it’s presence. That’s how I feel in the best way possible. I feel old and wise and a great deal of pride that I finally am able to have this family and life I never thought possible.
The first few decades were practice chapters. All were fun while living but nothing really substancial happened that would shape who I am today. I have always been outspoken (borderline obnoxious) and had always wanted to be the life of the party. All of that was usual fun and nobody really got hurt but living that lifestyle was not a true picture of the life that I had long for. Somehow along the way I was missing the message on what it felt to truly live. My life became more about just going through the emotions that I thought we were all destined to be in.
In a world where it is seemingly to be not the case I still have the freedom of choice. We all have the freedom of choice to fill our days and to live our lives in balance in the natre and way that we see fit. We are in control of those that we allow in our immediate vicinity and those that we relay our secrets too. It becomes at times almost impossible when you feel the weight of the world closing in on you. We all need to have a way to release the negative energy from ourselves. Bearing the weight of others is a surefire way to begin to once again feel failure in myself. Only when you live your life closer to your eternal balance does it feel like you have armour on. It is with that armour that you can face the weights of the world. You do not need to impress anybody with the way that you are, with who that you are. If there is anything I learned from this journey that the most important person that I can depend on his myself. Consider yourself to be the nucleus because as the center of your Universe the health and happiness of all around you is depended on you. Just like in any living thing certain components are required in order for a being to thrive. I have composed a list of items that I have found to help nurture my center. The more I feed the stronger and healthier my views on the world appear. Knowing that I am on a course living my best life provides great solitude in a world that once felt suffocating.
1. Find a purpose: What do you feel is your life purpose? Is this something that makes you sing or do you dread each and every day. Every morning you wake out of bed and have to get your day started. There is no avoiding what needs to get done in your day for this is your lively hood. We need to gravitate as close to our purpose as possible. The happier we are while fulfilling this task the more meaning life will have. Deciding to forgo my career not only benefited my family but in time I learned the beautiful purpose now that my life still had. I got to be the primary nurturer of my family and that feels amazing. Everyday I learn about being a mom and a better mother and this has made me happiest. There are certain tasks that I would rather not be a part of but I think that’s just the way it is in each and every day.
2. What’s your passion: Passion needs to be more than that guy/girl that gives you goosebumps everytime you walk by. I am talking zest for life. Something that you do each and every day that makes your life feel complete. No matter how bad your day may feel it is having this in your life that is the glue that holds it all together. Your zen. For me there is two very specific things I love that will calm me down. Furry snuggles and baking. I am all about comfort and feeling the love. I don’t mean to sound like a crazy cat lady (animal lady?) but there is just something so fulfilling about living each and every day amongst our four legged lil friends. They provide a calm, judgement free space. I am also convinced that they know that we saved them. More to that they see that they have friends and can live in a community where they have others to live out their days with. And baking!!! Is there any better feeling than having somebody enjoying something you made. I did a whole month of bake sales at different Pet Stores around our community and I only made maybe just $400 for the month. I also had a raffle so it’s hard to tell if this passion was actually successful. I know that going forward I need to sit down with my husband. He doesn’t share my passion for giving back to our community and the animals in the same way that I do.
3. Reconnect with your roots. It is not just because I had a child that makes me long for my family. I grew up with and knowing some of the greatest people the world has to offer. It is with much shame that somehow a long the way I forgot about how great their presence was in my life. Reaching out is one thing but you need to cement the budding relationship with creating new memories. It is a difficult task to consider now that we are all adults but we are all still ingrained with the haunting memoirs of the past so we should honour those that had journeyed before us by remembering their experience.
4. Never stop learning. We are never too old to want to know more. There is so many authors scaling so many genres that the world is literally our oyster with the contents inside being its pearl. There are so much vast knowledge out there that we can use to our advantage. We don’t just have to limit ourselves to what our job demands. We can learn for pleasure in order to heighten our experience and conversations with each other. I have incorporated three different styles of literature into my repetoire: philosophy, women of distinction and animals. If I am going to be out in the community raising awareness for pets I best be doing it as knowledgeable as possible.
4. Find a creative outlet. With the world at our fingertips we are able to find an outlet in any means we can imagine artisticly. There are local art classes, pottery, glass blowing, music lessons. You name it you can embrace. There is something incredible that happens when you are able to communicate with the Universe in this way. I remember the nervous energy that I had the first time I held the violin. As soon as the bow hit the first note I bubbled over with this energy I forgot existed. It was the same excitement I felt as a little girl on Christmas morning. Everybody needs to try to rediscover their childhood artistic side. Whether its poetry, writing, pottery, music let your inhibitions subside for a minute and let the unspoken words inside of you surface.
5. Forgiveness. Part of any healing journey is to forgive those that harmed you. This includes yourself and those that you have harmed. We have all been put in situations or have reacted in certain situations that have made us uneasy apon reflection. I am embarassed of the girl that I was but she doesn’t need to define who I am. Forgiving myself is an important step in order to move forward. Without actually being held accountable will never help us heal. It just puts up more walls around you making it hard for you to connect with anybody. I have genuinely reached out to all those that I may have harmed in anyway (including those that harmed me first. I still responded in a poor manner and for that I am sorry for). Start with yourself first though. If you are not able to forgive yourself for the mistakes of your past then there is no way you could expect anybody else to.
6. Be humble. I can not express this one enough. We are all fortunate and lucky to be living in a town where freedom of choice should be more common place. Never think that your tiara shines brighter than the one next to you. We all have this incredibly hard journey called life in front of us. We all deserve the same love and respect as we try to overcome this unrealistic hurdles that are constantly being put down in front of us. We need to see that we are more than the outward beauty that we present to the world. Being humble allows us to shed our exterior and allows others to penetrate our walls. We are free to embrace others in the way that they deserve before the world told us to be afraid of our neighbors. Being humble and fearless as I go out into our community is my armour that I wear to the rest of the world. I wish we lived in an era where we didn’t need to protect ourselves in this way. Unfortunately we do live in a time where childreen are being ripped from their families, famine is common and the people in power are constantly are turning their heads to people in need. Being humble doesn’t mean ignorance. Being humble means that you are aware that you are no better than those around you. You are thankful for your presence in this moment in time and you want to pass on the feelings of good fortune onto others. Anything worth having or doing in this world is not something that can be seen, it is all in how you feel. In a world that is increasingly being desensitive it is in our best interests to try and reconnect with who we once were. To blindly plead ingnorance will only effect our youth. We have to question what it is we are doing to the world when we would rather experience life virtually then go and explore the beauty that is just right outside our doors. There is something to be side for having goals and to challenge yourself. I accomplished my first 5km yesterday and am very proud to say officially I know have my personal best. I wasn’t too sure how I was going to feel during but I know how I feel after. Being an empath I am hesitant to avoid large groups of people. What I found that in the presence of that many people all sharing one common goal I think I found my community. We should all have an athletic outlet in order to express ourselves. I have always been athletic but found myself moving away from team sports. Thats what made me move to bodybuilding. Not wanting to be judged or critiqued for how I looked I know found an outlet for just being me. I can run to improve on my personal best. Once the balance in my life came into realization do you know what happened….I began to reconnect with my husband. I am not kidding you. I can not remember a time where we shared that many stolen kisses. In a world where others would have walked away I am happy that I reflected apon myself to see if maybe the source of discontent was really coming from me instead.

gray bridge and trees
Photo by Martin Damboldt on Pexels.com

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