The Beauty Lies in Wait Inside of Us

With knowledge comes an exploration of oneself. We begin to uncover the stones that should have been overturned long ago. It is only while removing the dense moss covering do we reveal the true colour of the stone underneath. We are all these stones covered by complex layers guarded from all elements to forever live out our days uncovered, unappreciated, dare I say unloved. We have all seen the memes telling us tales find the one that makes us complete, even the scripture talks about Eve being made from the rib of Adam. If we were all made from another being ribs wouldn’t that also indicate that maybe we are a part of something else. Other than the what lays out on display on the outside have we insinuated that everybody’s rib has come from man. In fact couldn’t a rib be taken from a woman. I am only an advocate for beings living their version of their best life. We should all feel shame in ourselves that we live in a nation, forget nation, that we live in a world that the major desire that we all possess is to supress each other. With no desire to actively be apart of the change that we want to see in the world we turn a blind eye while violence erupts in our street. We are dictated to by social media. Afraid to be who we are even more afraid of the human race that we were. The only thing that seems to be common is the level of hate we have for each other. There is a magnitude of sides all preaching to be the right side. What is very clear that no side is right in te level that we should all strive to have. If there is anybody anywhere left suffering or hurting based on a decision that anohter being has made than we are all at fault.
The media, in one hand it has kept us all current in such away that we are know living in fear. Fear of change, fear of expression, fear of truly being able to embrace who we are. Any negative emotion that one experiences is another chain that is keeping you down preventing you from being an active player in your life. When you are actively involved in your life and leaving a positive force behind you all that you do begins to make sense. I never would have thought that I would be worthy of such clarity. If anybody can be an advocate for positive change and living your best life it would most definetly be me. When I look back on those posts where I was talking about the level of intimacy I was experiencing with my husband it allowed me to be vulnerable with the Universe. I told the Universe what I needed in order to be more fulfilled in my role as wife. Stepping back and asking myself what I needed it was like taking a page out of a rule book regarding my life. My decision to stay at home with my son and pets was a mutual one. Yes some days are lonelier than others but that is only a perception of my life that I was focused on. When I so narrowly looked at my life and I focused all my attention on that small piece of course depression took over. Through my desire and thirst to learn more about all the others that were before me I gained great comfort in my essence. In the quiet moments before my son gets up or while he is napping it is my time to work on all those things that make me feel whole. The more of those tasks that I fulfill in my day opens me up to be more receptive to my husband. I legit look at myself of being CEO of my empire. My empire is of course my family. Did you know that in the eyes of an 18 month old not only am I rockstar, supermodel, and entrepreneur extraordinnaire I am his mom and to him I will never fail. Imagine a world where my unconditional love can mold this young mind into an incredible being. How could you not want to be he best version of yourself?
The gap that I once shared with my husband is beginning to close as I discoer whoI am. It leads to the question, “Can one really grow apart or are we growing into love? How can two peas who were once in a pod be so distant” So many people are searching for that electrical charge that we think connects us to another being. Without that shock we are quick to move on to the next. Think about that shock. When electrified that feeling dissolves into thin air. As humans we were never meant to harness the electricity for long periods of time. When we hang on for too long there is nothing left to do but explode. It is 1000 true what people say. Once an ex always ex move on move forward. It will seem like the hardest feeling in the world. To others you will feel the walls caving in on you like you can’t bear the weight of the world. This feeling is ok even preferred. People talk about pressure and pain like it is one and the sain. In one hand it is true in order to truly appreciate your reflection in the mirror you have to experience great pain. Diamonds, pearls anything worth keeping in your jewellry box has come from these defining moments. The elements that helped evolve them into the true picture of beauty that they are have long subsided and only the true essence remains. You see we are all this thing of beauty waiting to be discovered. When you are around your person that connects with you even when nobody else can that is who you long for. Your person doesn’t want to irritate, anger or hurt you. There mere presence in your life is to make your life better. They truly enhance who you are as a being and give you the chance to soar amongst the clouds. They will never take away that essence that you are nor will they try to be anything but the wind under your wings. You will see what I mean when it happens. The road is not for the weak of heart. In fact a clearer understanding of who you are will help you in these times.
I used to feel this overwhelming sense of doom when in crowds. I have learned that this feeling is because I am feeding on the negative energy of those that are around me. Like zombies feeding on flesh I would spiral out of control and not be able to gain control of myself. I would crawl into myself and pray that the nightmare in front of me would go away. Imagine my surprise and content when in amongst a crowd of thousands of people getting ready for the Scotiabank Marathon I felt an inner calm. My whole purpose for being there was to raise funds and awareness for homeless animals. I remember thinking that if these animals can spend a lifetime walking alone I could find a way to walk 5KM. What I found in the sea of people was a community. A community of people who came together out of a love of being involved, being outside and a desire to try and make a difference in the world. I never could have imagined just how right the spiritual medium was when she told me to stop walking in the woods and to go where the people are. She mentioned that that would be the way to not feel so lonely. As I walked forwared and completed my marathon (I came in under 50 minutes) I felt a sense of pride. I jogged a wee bit but it was a beautiul sunny day and I was surrounded by like minded individuals. It was hard not to be catapulted to a time when I may have enjoyed running. I was never one for heavy exhertion but I do remember running cross country when I was younger. It made me wonder if maybe I had missed my true potetial. The number one reason I hate running was I could never understand why one would want to run anywhere. When one looks at it as a goal that can be made and you can challenge yourself it seems like maybe almost the dare I say perfect sport? There is no better challenge than the one we create within ourselves. At my age you begin to feel like every second counts. Every minute of every day holds more value than the one before. We become careful with who and how we manage our time. Even running you can feel like you are leaving the cares of the world behind. For now I have emailed a local running group to see if our schedules can align. Maybe if I am lucky I can find somebody to motivate me and get me running lets say 2 to 3 times a week. I am also curious about those runnin apps you see on peoples phones. My next goal is undecided a part of me is saying maybe you should beat your personal best….tee hee I have a personal best. Another part of me is saying just go ahead and do it enter a 10km!!!
There is just an incredible calm that complements all the excitement when you can take a step back and fully appreciate how far you have come. I am incredible excited for the goals and milestones I am able to hit. What I have accomplished in just a year for myself is incredible. I am finally becoming somebody that I can be proud of. Life is definetly meant for the living and it is all that we can do to enhance the experience for those around us. We are all looking to find something but what we really need to find is ourselves. The reality is you can never make anybody happy. We were born with free will. Some people are natural givers and others are natural takers. The takers will suck every breath out of our bodies just to see themselves succeed. You can feel their presence in your life long before they actually show up. You can feel a shift in the energy in the room has their negative aura works like a virus and overtakes all things living in it’s path. Negativity can only overcome those that are unsure. When you are filled with pride and courage and are safe within your walls the way you interact with the world will change. You will see that the armour you have designed fits you perfectly as it was custome made to fit all your dreams and desires. Those dreams become a security blanket as they comfort and shield you from the pains of the world. Pain will always be around us, it is the way we learn to adapt and how we handle the impact that matters most. As a woman we are always on display. We are constantly being looked at and judged for what we are wearing, how we conduct ourselves in the public eye, how we maintain a home all while keeping care of the children, pets, spouse. The only way we can take pride in all that we do is to acknowledge how hard we try and how close we come to these goals everyday. Rome was not built in a day and neither will you be. Life is all about learning and growing and not being scared to fly amongst the butterflies in a world full of mosquitos. Even during the ugliest storms we can be blessed with the most beautiful artistic display of nature that gives us all hope for brighter days. In order for the skys to be blessed with a rainbow they have to withstand the storm. Be patienct my loves for the beauty that you are. Everything that you are to become has been worth everything that has brought you to this moment. You are the earth’s most valuable possession for only you can release the treasures that lie within.

rainbow over sea
Photo by Matt Hardy on Pexels.com

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