5 Steps to Managing Depression

I am a firm believer that to some degree we can manifest our destiny. Some will say that this idea is absolutely ridiculous and of course on some level it is because if we could all will ourselves to be successful, famous, billionares we would be. What I am talking about is that peaceful feeling of harmony when all of those missing pieces come together and form the most beautiful artwork that will become your life.

We all have moments of deep dark depression that we choose not to share with the world. Especially when you are trying to build an image of one of carefree happiness like everything is going to be ok. What alot of us don’t see is the behind the scenes meltdowns that make us feel ashamed to show our faces to the outside world. I have long since become a functional depressive being. Not every day have these bouts of despair but there will always be a piece of me that will mourn the loss of the life that I had come to known. To be void of any emotion is a cruel fate because it is the feelings of great despair that we are able to come out on the ouside. Think of a rainbow.  The most beautiful display in the sky comes after some of the most darkest rains. Use the time when you retreat within yourself to find a better way of doing things. Take that time when you push the rest of the world away to build on something great. I have been able to use these emotional times to my advantage. It is still a work in progress and yes sometimes the people closest to me don’t understand but usually when I have this downturn it births these incredible ideas that I am sure that I can’t fail at. When I feel these moments coming in my life I work through these steps to create even more joy in my life. I have let far too many of these moments steal away precious time. I now make these moments into my strengths and this is how I do it.

Step 1: I wallow in it. I mean I shut out the outside world and I let all those negative emotions wash over me and cleanse my soul. I will grieve for whatever it is that is coming to a head in my life. I will listen to sad songs, sad movies and relive sad moments to remind me of how far I have come. Usually the sadness lasts for as long as it takes for me to be reminded of all the blessings in my life.  I learned to be on a first name basis with my depression. I honour the feelings and allow it to guide me in the direction that I need to be. We are all human struggling to live out these lives of meaningful purpose. If only we learned how to walk in step with each other maybe that would help alleviate some of the pressures. I am always mindful with who I share my depression with because it is contagious. Negative energy spreads like a firestorm. It needs to bring down everybody in it’s path in order to gain speed and force. Alot of people may not understand what you are going through so there is no sense of burdening them with feelings that will just weigh them down. Of course if you are in a desperate place always reach out. I have been there. We have all been there when we wonder what the world would be like if we were no longer. We assume that our pain will stop and maybe it will but when you consider the lives that you impact by making one selfish move, you owe it to the Universe as a whole to give it a fair try. Your existence was never an accident , you do have purpose where we all get lost is trying to find out what that is.

Step 2: If there is time I try to express my emotions artisticly.  I will play my violin to my fingers bleed to music only I understand. I will also, of course, practice my songs as somethings does move me on the inside when I make beautiful music. Every little negative cell inside me begins to dance and in it’s place I feel this rush of excitement. Music talks to your soul in a way that nobody else can. At times when I am most frustrated this is the only things that will soothe me. I also reach for one of the many novels that I love to read. Exploring the lives of those that walked before gives me the sanity I need to see that I am not the only one. To read the lives of some of the greatest beings of our times really drives the idea home that we as humans are capable of moments of inconsolable sadness. Take Mrs Jackie O. Here husband was assassinated beside here. It was a beautiful day with little to no cares in the world as the presidential convoy drove down a path that would forever change history. Not to sound crass but this woman went through something that we couldn’t even imagine. One minute she was dreaming of her future and growing old with a man she admired and adored and in one second it was all over.  Not only was she sitting beside him as the shots rang out but she also had the unfortunate demise of being covered in his blood as chaos rung out. The whole day she wore the outfit that was covered in her husband’s DNA. The shock that poor woman felt and the sadness that could have over taken her and led her to a life of booze and drugs. Jackie O wasn’t that way. She still tried to embrace what was left of her life and impacted the world in a fashion that only she could. She surrounded herself with art and beauty as she worked towards establishing not only her husband’s legacy but America’s as well.

Step 3. I dream. I fantasize about a life well lived surrounded by love and beauty. I am realistic about most of my dreams and make sure that on some level I can reach them. The idea that happiness is all about what I make of it and how creatively I can obtain it. All your dreams don’t have to be obtainable but what has to be at the forefront is happiness. If reaching for the stars brings you joy then reach for them. You don’t want to think that your life isn’t worthwhile if you aren’t worth a million dollars. The reality is that most of us will never realize those riches. We have to redefine what being rich really means. Being rich means having a loving, warm family and some close confidants to animate your world. Your bank balance should never come into play with your dreams. One thing that I have learned along the way is there is alot of obstacles. These obstacles are meant to break you down so that you live a life without purpose or meaning. For me I do have these big dreams and to some it may seem like I am always falling short.  To me the fact that I have the courage to keep on trying tells me that I am capable of reaching my dreams. It isn’t going to take an instanct to get there. The reality is it may take my whole life and even then I may never reach them. The idea is that you keep on trying knowing that the journey is the real gift and that is worth all the riches in the world.

Step 4. Stay humble. There is no sense in beating yourself up over things that you can not control. So many people go on their days with these unrealistic expectations of themselves. Everybody wants to be the next insta star with millions of followers. Being a star amongst your own family and peers is all that you need to be.  We are all cut from the same cloth experiencing the same roller coaster ride so why would anybody feel that they are worth more than anybody else. I know that we all struggle to get out of bed in the morning and live an existence filled with purpose. I know that I am no different from anybody else that I get to share this moment in time with.  Knowing that I am not the only one who struggles makes it alot easier to keep on keeping on.

Step 5. I get involved. Sometimes what we need to know is that our reality that we live in is not the same for each of us. Some of us have it alot harder than others.  I try to get involved with the community in the areas that matter to me most. I don’t want to be that person that is constantly complaining and doing nothing. To be an active member of your community allows you to see what others are living through. That the problems that you are experiencing are such a small piece of the puzzle in the grander scheme of things. There are women out there with no homes for themselves or their children, there’s dads out there that haven’t seen their kids in years even with paying child support, and somewhere out there I mother is grieving the loss of their child due to another opiate overdose. These are the moments in life that matter. When as human we feel like we are walking this path alone that is when we feel at our lowest. At time I feel alone. I am a stay at home mom while my husband works these ridiculously long hours. When he gets home he is tired and trys his hardest to stay awake. At times I get so frustrated that he isn’t a more active participant in our lives but that is because he is working so hard to provide for us. How can I feel anything but pride that he is this committed to us. Yes I am human and I feel sadness but again my reality is pretty easy compared to some. At least my husband is coming home at the end of the day and my son has his dad. I have to remind myself that this is what is important. So many families would do anything to have that piece of their life back if it was taken away so I need to count my lucky stars that overall my life is pretty blessed.

The most important thing to remember when we are experiencing periods of depression is to really realize that you are not alone. Somewhere out there there is somebody who will understand your struggle and embrace you for the unique beautiful being that you are. You don’t have to be taken advantage of or feel like you don’t matter. This is a far cry from being used. This is you just being open to the possibility that somebody out there can relate to where you are coming from and genuinely wants to help bring you into the light. Being able to radiate from within only truly happens when you are able to connect with somebody else and help bring their being to the surface. I know that in a room of beautiful like minded individuals I am only one small piece in this beautiful portrait of life.  A smile from a true genuine place can light up the whole room and it has been proven to be contagious. Let your smile catch like wildfire and allow your aura to be absorbed by those around you. Be the reason why somebody smiles today. It is ok to get out of bed and release yourself from the negative holds of the past. You do control your own destiny and you can choose who you want to be. First off have a little faith and be kind to yourself first. Be the person you were born to be, the person others look up to to become.

adult black and white darkness face
Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas on Pexels.com

 

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