I am not one for daytime TV. Usually I am busy cleaning, gardening, and playing my violin. And of course that is only when my Schmoo is napping. Oh yes and my daily blog/journal/thoughts. That is a must just to keep the positive momentum flowing.
I decide to turn on “the View” and read “Sojourner Truth”. I am about halfway though. I try to read a chapter a day usually at night when everything is done and my boys are asleep. It’s about the life of Sojourner. A black woman in the 1850s and her determination to make an impact to all those that suffered. It can be a heavy read. But very informative of a time that is reflective to the way our world portray’s differences and similarities all in the same breath.
The view played in the background and it was talking about being sexually active well into your 60’s and 70’s. Being partially distracted from my reading I heard the ladies compare it to sex in your 30s and 40s. Thinking to myself I wonder what happens in your 50s? But before the thought was complete one of the ladies, who was 51, pipes up I don’t know about you but I am as dry as the Sahara Desert. Even before I could be horrified by what I just heard. Each and ever woman at that table congratulated her for her honesty. They acknowledged that it was a problem for lots but not many could admit it. They cheered her on and complimented her and you could see how empowering this show could be.
After the commercial break they asked about if anybody had any career mistakes. When Brigette explained that her biggest regret and shame was how she acted on reality TV. Once again these ladies came to her side and built her up. This right here is proof that woman in numbers can not only impact each other but also to the rest of the world. To watch the positivity in the form of laughter, compliments, and smiles was contagious. It made me feel that if only this type of sisterhood could make it more into the mainstream then maybe so many of our problems are solved. I can’t think of a time in nature that I heard a genuine compliment being made. I see it so much on social media but never in the wild. Why is it that we are so confined to live these lives behind a computer that makes us feel validated. I have had the pleasure of meeting the most unique bunch of women that I have been longing for. They build each other up. Give advice and genuinely celebrate each others victories. They have given me the courage to not only open up to my journey but to continue exploring to see how many more like minded individuals are out there that the World has to offer.
To be satisfied in what you have acquired and have become is a daunting task. Everybody desires to have more and aspires to have these lives filled with glamour and prestige. So often the disguise that we have been comfortable wearing for so long becomes entwined with our own. We hurt the ones we once loved because they no longer conform to the mold that we so desperately try to get them to fit into. It is far easier to paint a picture of another person’s faults than take a look in the mirror and see the imperfect you staring back. It is ok to not be perfect. It is ok to have faults. I was taught long ago to strive to make your weaknesses your strengths instead of fixating on what you can’t do. The finger that shakes blame is to often belonging to the hand that needs the most change.
Me and my husband have many differences. What we most agree on is the love we share for our son. He has become the most important being to both of us. The idea that it is so common for spouse’s to engage in these battles where their child becomes the pawn is deplorable. The idea that any one party should profit over the other probably did not have any honourable intentions while entering the union. I always asked my husband if he wanted a pre-nuptial agreement. I never wanted to profit from our marriage failing. Even after our house was given to us I once again asked. I knew that by honoring his family in this way was the right thing to do. Why should I profit at the hands of his family and ancestors? As long as I live right by them they will always take care of me and our son. There is no place in the World for greed. Like a wildfire it spreads and infects more with hate. Nobody wins when one values themselves more than the life that they were given.
Sadly there are so many negative Nancy’s that don’t believe in this mentality. When I take a step back and observe my surroundings it saddens me. I want to believe these ladies on The View and genuine and sincere but it seems like these ladies are unique. In a World where so many are just after what benefits them, they leave the rest of us in their dust. They manipulate our children, take advantage of our sick and elderly and lie, cheat and steal to get what they want. They are a drain to our social economics and skew what is fake and what is reality. I watch as they (I wanted to call them women then ladies but that name just doesn’t fit) make accusations with the sole grounds of making them look better. Fortunately for myself the mask that they adorn is completely transparent and their lies and games have no weight on me. I have been called almost every name in the book and have been accused of some pretty serious stuff. Let it be known I will never be ashamed of my truth or my past. I am confident in the woman I am becoming and the son that I am raising. He is safe from all this malicious gossip that spirals like a storm cloud over his head. My blog had always served as a focal point to identify my true North. Any slanderous thing you thing you have I have brought forward in these pages. With the passage of time so does come the dissolution of truth. I no longer have to engage in any negativity or ill will as I decided to expose myself in the figurative sense. I have been used, abused and banished from one side of my family. Oh well! C’est la vie. I will be set free from the lies that you think that bind me and I will be baptized in your sins. In the public eye I hold no shame for the life I have lived. I have made moves to apologize for those that I have wronged and hurt. I ask you in your malicious tirade how is it you can to believe I would write about you. My blog is MY personal experience and my own truths. If you believe that it is slander I encourage you to look deep within yourself. Didn’t you in fact slander me? Aren’t I able to rebuttal the lies you speak of me that escape through your lips. You have spent decades obsessed with the life I have created and failed to nurture your own. Me and you will never be the same. We are made up of a different core value system. Mine is to respect the dead. Rest in Peace Helen, Pete and Jim. Your life is a beacon for which I strive to live. Only the weak and envious is jealous of the life you lived. In time everybody will know that you lived honourable lives with your family as the focal point. Any negative words spoken about you by anybody is unfounded and holds no grounds.
To the women who think you are entitled to a life you made no effort to acquire I feel for you and your family. Try to strive to be better. Use compliments instead of insults. Try smiling instead of lashing out in anger. Live simply and positively and watch your life unfold. My family is my bond with the rest of the world. If one suffers, if ones sick I would never abandon them. The idea that bringing somebody to their knees when they need human compassion the most is the most heinous act I can imagine. I encourage you to watch The View and absorb the positivity. The longer you hide in the cave the less human you become.