With an issue so pressing as how do men think, I reached for New York Times bestseller book by Steve Harvey. Yes I am married but I am always looking to improve on our relationship. Relationships do take work and I am committed to mine. Rather than keep spinning in one place I wanted to explore the possibility that maybe just maybe there is something I could be doing to make us better. I mean he’s mind is preoccupied at work and my days are spent raising our son, improving and building on my character so why not explore some possibilities to make our relationship better.
The book raised some incredibly interesting points for the single lady.and how to be used as a “game fish”. I would say trophy but the truth is if I guy really likes you, you do get put on a pedestal. If you haven’t watched “He’s just not into you” maybe now is the time. As women we have made it way to easy for the casual hook up. Don’t get me wrong one night stands have their time and place if you know that is what is happening.
He really does lay it all out there for us to understand. A man’s natural instinct is to Provide, Protect and to Procreate. The term used by Steve is “The Cookie”. Usually every man is driven by sex because that is what society determines makes a man. A man’s performance in bed is everything to some. This doesn’t just apply to the men with male genitala. These is a good way to understand the perceptions perceived in the male role in order for their to be harmony in the family.
From the dawn of time there has been only two different sexes. The male and the female. They come together in order to ensure the survival of the human race. That is a very specific and narrow statement although true. How we define families now has changed but the roles defined to each haven’t. I don’t know if a female’s role in the workforce was completely necessary. I can appreciate the desire to be independent and provide for yourself however maybe that is where we can fine tune the family equation.
You don’t have to be a specific sex to follow the rules implied by Steve Harvey. Whichever partner is the one wearing the pants and playing the father role is the one who’s love tank gets filled by providing and protecting. We can see this in nature as well. This also is something we are familiar with…stroking the male ego. Even in cave man times the men went out and provided for the families and the women stayed home to care for the children and their cave. Now enter modernization and government and all of a sudden our relationships and children take a back seat to self gratification.
Being able to get a little insight to how a man thanks made everything clear. Not just in my relationship but men in general. I mean looking back I had a feeling but never truly implemented the practice. I just lucked out. I caught the men without using Steve Harvey’s tests. Alot of the book is good for the single lady. What I got out of the book most was that on instinct we all have our natural roles to fill if we like to admit them or not. I mean doesn’t it make sense? My husband is our provider. So my role is homemaker and child raiser. That is not set in stone. This is what makes me feel full. Keeping a clean house and being the matriarch of our household. If both people wish to work there us always daycare, nannies and housekeepers. Its unrealistic to assume that anybody can work full time then come home and assume full times duties in the house. Both parties can benefit from roles or at least hiring somebody to help.
So after providing, protecting and sex the brain shuts and as it should. Looking at his day through this perspective I could see just how accurate this thinking is. And yes I am married but not too happily. I see an opportunity to be appreciative in our gender roles and act accordingly. In a day my husband is normally my only adult physical contact. When he comes home I am anxious and excited to tell him about my day. I also use the time when he gets home to finish my goals for the day. We have not been getting along to say the least. He talks non stop about his day like I have a clue. I would become short, irritated and probably a bit rude. What I learned from this book is I need to build him up more. I need to accept the fact that he doesn’t like talking about all that girly stuff. This is where girlfriends come into play. Their purpose isn’t to take you out of the house but enhance your experiences with your mate. Share your experiences but limit the detailing. My goal now when my husband comes home is to try and have my to do list done. Whatever isn’t done will either be left to the next day or at a time when both of my boys are asleep.
I am incredibly fortunate to have this opportunity to be 100% around my family. For me this is lifes greatest gift and everything else that comes my way is a bonus. Not only do I get to be a part of my child’s development I have a unique opportunity to explore the lives and thinkings of many great people. To be able to nurture and grow through the eyes of others that have dared to walk down the path less travelled is something not to take for granted. Already I have seen the value of expanding the mind to include the teachings of others. Narrow minded thinking is what keeps us trapped for realizing our limitless potential. My hope is to keep learning and maybe somehow stumble across the key to being able to appreciate and live life in abundance.
Steve Harvey’s journey throughout life allowed us the opportunity to get into the mind of a successful man. He is who our spouses aspire to be. They want us to know and appreciate how hard they work. We are all limited to the same 24 hours in the day. It is impossible to think that we can handle it all. Isn’t easier to have somebody on your side cheering for you. Just like in investing the best returns are when you are in it for the long run. So instead of selling the stock you’ve been holding hoping to recuperate the loss why not look inside yourself. Ask yourself is there anything I can be doing to diversify my portfolio. The grass is seldom greener on the other side. Instead of jumping from each sinking ship take the time to invest in yourself and your relationship. It’s your life take control. Be proud of who you are, where you came from and where you are going. We were never destined to walk the world and with an open mind and heart we won’t ever have to.