The time to think is here….

We were not born to blend in. Each and every one of us was designed to shine bright. The most confusing part to me is when and where does the desire to stand out fade. For me it was when I was a teenager that my candle got blown out. I scrambled for 2 decades trying to find a resign to want to shine again. At least I thought I had fit in then. Looking back I can see that all that I was doing was eroding away at the uniqueness that was me. It was the opposite I was too scared to venture off on my own. I had no self worth. Years left in abusive relationships does something to you. I tried to control everything around me as I spun completely out of reality. Everything I was doing was to numb any sort of growth that my spirit so desperately needed. I thought after school that I would be done. Learning stopped. Work set in and hopefully a family and a retirment fund would follow. To me my reality at that time seemed normal. I didn’t see alot of people succeeding at life. If the bills were paid and there was a roof over your head that was enough wasn’t it?

Somewhere inside of me I always had these hopes and dreams that maybe life could be better. I would participate in fitness classes, yoga, meditation, volunteering etc. Anything to try and connect with anybody in my community. It was a hard road. Being at the receiving end of some ridiculing and what some would say was some innocent insults I decided to draw within myself. Without knowing it exactly my reclusion ended up being the saving grace I needed. It was my shelter from an insensitive uncaring World. In a World that is designed to tell us that we need a bountiful supply of friends and social media followers I decided it was time. It was time to take a good hard honest look in the mirror and redesign the person that looked back at me.

We are all engineered to want the most of out of life we just lack some of the tools in order for us to get there. There are some key things you can do to get you there. I mean this is what worked for me. I was coming from a place where my beloved family cat just passed and we survived a very interesting tale of childbirth (we both almost died at childbirth). My depression and anger knew no bounds. I had to try something so in no particular order here are some steps to help get you on a more positive path:

  1.  Talk to professionals. Right after childbirth I was set up with a counsellor (the hopes was to offset any chance of depression or ptsd). There is something to be said about talking to an unbiased professional that just can put you at ease. They are paid to listen and give you advice. Sometimes it was just knowing that I was going to meet with my counsellor that put me at ease. She helped me through so much in such a short time. Talking to somebody removed from your life is key.
  2.  Believe in yourself. You really have to give yourself some credit and just truly ask yourself what you need. Believe in that little girl inside of you. She will guide you in ways that you would never dream possible. Nobody should ever believe in you more than yourself. Once you feel it in your bones other people can actually feel it radiate off of you. You have to believe that your purpose here is for something. All of ours is.
  3. Be inspired. I love to read and watch documentaries of great historian figures. There is nothing more inspiring to read about one of our great leaders, philosophers, philanthropists, feminists. You get the picture. Some of these people had a small fraction of what we do. There life was meant for greatness. Some of them came from absolutely nothing. Just a belief and desire to be something more than themselves. We can all have that destiny if we live virtuous and with integrity. Yes finances may play a role in how far you can influence but never give up on a dream. Nobody who made a difference in history ever gave up. Greatness sleeps inside each and every one of us. We just have to find that talent and gravitate towards it. Trust me you will know when you feel it. I actually get goosebumps reading about some of history’s greatest leaders. I am totally going to get into politics. The whole point of government was to serve the people who live in it. We need to get to that point where we ALL benefit not a select few.
  4. Take risks. Without risks you will never know how far you can go. If you always do what you always done then you will always get what you always got. If you don’t try and do something different you will never know. You will always wonder what if? The time to do anything is now. I decided to enter a Pin-Up contest in the States this weekend. My family will be staying behind as I fly down to Wisconsin. The reasons why I have decided to enter is just to see if I have what it takes to make it in the Pin-Up community. I spend alot of time away from my family engaging in different events and I was just curious to see if I have what it takes. So not only am I flying to a city I am unfamiliar with I am also driving to the Pageant!!! I don’t know if I ever would have done this before. I am super excited to meet some new girls and to experience my first pageant abroad. Risks are worth it. They make life more interesting.
  5.  Find a mentor. In order to truly become the person you aspire to be it is important to have role models that you gravitate towards. They help you reprogram your brain by getting you to look at situations and things in different ways. For me I have been thinking the same way for 4 decades. It was time to get a different perspective on the way I handled things. I needed to be more efficient with the way I thought and in the way I interacted with people.
  6. Don’t be afraid of growth. Sometimes the best thing you can do is focus on yourself. There is no right or wrong way to living (well within reason and with respect to the law and others). For so many of us we have been told that only a certain way of life is ok. Alot of people will have trouble understanding why all of a sudden your interests are changing. They might in fact be scared of the changes happening within you. It is a very awakening time that can set off alarm bells every where. You will question what you are doing and why maybe a million times a day. Things will naturally evolve just the way the are meant to. Everything, every second, every hour becomes a learning opportunity. It’s ok if some don’t understand. It is your life lesson and your journey and the more you honour that path the more rewarding life will seem.

Throughout the journey that I have been so blessed with I never forget those that had an impact on my life. There is never a day that goes by that I don’t think about them. My family means everything to me. They keep me striving to want to keep revinventing myself. The work it takes to continuous build on my character feels more like the greatest honour. One that I have never taken for granted for as long as I have been lucky enough to receive it. My goal is to try and help those feel better about themselves. To make life exciting again. Away from the pressures of social media and in a version that maybe only makes sense to us. I want others to feel that sometimes your presence is all that is needed. There is no shame for trying to improve on who you were or to remain the same. One day I wish that the World would slow down just long enough for the rest of the World to catch up. The feel of continuous disharmony is ever presence in the framework of the Universe. We have veered so far off course from our true intentions that there is alot of nervous tense energy swirling about. It is hard to believe we live in a World where our leaders take to a public forum such as social media to ridicule others. A leader needs to live up to a higher standard. They need to show the rest of the World what it means to be kind. To have compassion. To maybe lend a hand when your fellow neighbour needs it. As long as what is portrayed in the public eye is one of ignorance and oblivious hate we will forever live in a dark shadow. First off we need to ask ourselves some very deep penetrating questions that will help in building an army. An army that is fearless from the negativity of the world. An army that would rather love and live in harmony. I am sure not many of us like the evil that we are forced to represent. Remember as long as we allow this sort of dictatorship to continue we are also saying that we accept and allow our fellow men to be treated in such deplorable inhumane ways. Ask yourself it is ok to treat anybody with hate and contempt? How about your mother? brother? sister? Every person is connected to somebody. For those who aren’t we should only desire to fill the void. You never know what destiny lies before each one of us. We all deserve to have that chance. First look within yourself then once you have a good sense of self I am sure all the answers you have been looking for will become so clear.

man sitting on hill facing sunrise
Photo by KayR Studios on


One Comment Add yours

  1. Om Prakash Khare says:



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