I want to share with you what it feels like to read about a man’s final minutes here on Earth. To actually live through the timeline through the eyes of those that were there in those final minutes. Everything inside of me wants to believe if only I don’t turn the page maybe I can alter his destiny. Crying I beg for the author to at least give his wife grace. Don’t let her final moments with the man she loves be her holding his limp body in her arms. As the tears start I am sure of one thing. Whoever shot those shots was pure evil and it didn’t come from the hands of just one man. We weren’t born for this type of Evil. Our brains would never operate in such a capacity. To paint a man, even the one who we know pulled the trigger, to have the mental capabilities of orchestrating such an event, in such a public place. This is the work of many to assasinate a man in the middle of the day in front of women and children. To not only kill one man why not more? If you hate everything it means to be human unload on the crowd like so many are doing now. Ask yourself this…if anybody had the power to alter history and make facts dissappear couldn’t they do it to read in their favour? Couldn’t you fabriate a person’s whole existence, their whole purpose?
We all have instinct and we all have fear ingrained in us but we have been desensitized to hear it when it calls. Those that have the ability to block out the white noise and listen to their inner self are deemed as crazy. Even as that motorcade careened down past the Texas Book Despository those closest to the President started to feel fear. They knew that that the people hanging from the windows were going to cause a problem. Some of the citizens below looked up at Lee Harvey Oswald and thought he was a secret service agent. Can you believe? Just in the pages alone there are 3 different witness who saw him nonchalantly. Tell me how the real secret service agents couldn’t see a crazed mad man in the window holding a rifle. Maybe because those who saw him in his site were told to look away. Nothing really happens to chance. And we rarely do die at the hands of a stranger. Maybe that connection isn’t so estranged at all.
We have to look at all angles we still don’t have all the answers and as I push to know more I get swallowed up by a worm hole. My only desire is to make the World a better place for my family. In order to do that I have to find out where humanity went wrong. Where we failed each other. Or did we fail each other or were we mislead? The one thing that I can’t shake from my head is the very premise of how we all started. We were all created equally. Yes we all have different personalities and different characterists, talents, wants, needs etc but when we all started out we were created on a level playing field. This has to ring true for all of us at some point in time. There has to be a time when we were first created that we didn’t see living in the ways that we do now. There was tranquility, peace and respect for all living creatures and then in a blink of an eye everything change.
My desire to learn more about the Buddhist faith seems to maybe hold the key for me. Our existence will ring different for each one of us. My existence tells me I have to come as close to finding the truth as possible. I do not know much about the Buddhist faith but I think in it’s discovery I will find my way. As I look around my house I see several sins trying to detract away from what really matters. My inner peace and the Garden of Eden that resides in all of us. Our gardens were poisoned by sin. The way we are taught and misguided on how we define humanity. We were never born to be racisist, to want more than our neighbors, to be lusted by many…There has to be a time in history when it was more about the experience then about what we acquired. There is a reason why we can’t take materialistic items with us. It’s just not necessary for where we get to go next in this journey. I believe Heaven is what lives inside of us. When we are living our lives in the direction that fills our soul we are almost there. The problem is there is something incredibly wrong with the World. Greed has taken over. Greed is by far the most powerful sin out there. It has convinced us that some of us are more entitled than others. It allows us to kill even massacre complete villages. We look over our shoulders and fear the person walking up behind us. We glorify violence and let our brains go numb with inactivity. We are content living a rat race because that is what we are told. Our sins are slowly killing us. It is starting to show in everything we do in every direction.
Greed made us rape our lands and terrorize the Earth. We pave down our forests with no regard. There was a time where there were Gods in everything around us. Now we have convinced ourselves that we are bigger than all of them. Somehow in our mediocre existence we have decided that we are the entitled. We really don’t understand how truly poor we are. Ever since I was a little girl I felt like we were all just in a fishbowl. I felt this presence of something playing around with our emotions. Laughing at our heartaches. Rejoicing in our failures. How many people do you know that truly take a stand for what they believe to be right? Isn’t it more accurate to say that you know more sheep then herders? We aren’t privy enough to know those that hold the strings. But I sure can feel them. They tell us through every means possible to fear each other. To hate each other. They tell us that we are confined to our skin colour, our sexual orientation, to our ancestors but they never justify just how so these people differe from us. This behavior is learned and it only comes from people that are sick and twisted. We are human we don’t want to see each other be hurt. We want to see each other thrive. There are only a few that get satisfaction of seeing the weak perish. The elightest entitled families who have forever been holding the strings.
I shudder at the thought of even mentioning the Stone Masons but like in the movie the Skullz there is an underground at work that infiltrates the way that we are allowed to live our lives. To me it already seems like we are living during the rapture. Our enlightentened mind is being surpressed with feelings of hate. In my travles I try to get the views as many as possible. I need to stimulate my mind in new ways of thinking. If the mind can conceive it then the body can achieve. Wouldn’t that very phrase suggest that if the human mind can conceive it then there would have to be a higher power at work. Humanity is being sacrificed at an alarming rate. Isn’t it weird that all these shooters are white gamers? Wouldn’t a group more powerful then the CIA be able to corrupt these gamers minds through brainwashing? Wouldn’t they also be able to delete the records of said brainwashing to never have existed? They would be able to erase the tracks of an elicit third party controlling these poor boys brains. We have the power to do that right? Not me perse but a group as powerful as the Stone Masons? Another interesting fact that was unearthed to me at one of these US aiports was that the head of this organization was no other than the head of the monarchy herself.
Now I started with the assasination of JFK because I thought that would be close to the time that humanity began to fail. What I am learning is that we failed each other way before that. Anytime where greed, lust and just overall disregard for your fellow man comes into play that means I have to go further back. Why is it that the rich get richer and the rest of us just spin our heads? Maybe because if we took our heads out of the clouds we would see just how corrupt our lives have become. Anytime a child gets abducted, we failed. Anytime an aboriginal teen goes missing, we failed. Anytime we used words to differentiate each other from being what we all are human, we failed. Anytime a transgender teen takes their lives, we failed. Anytime we allow our children to be bullied, ridiculed, teased, even take their last breath, we failed. Anytime we harvest Mother Nature and push her creatures into extinction, we failed. Anytime we believe that our children are capable of great acts of violence, we failed. My tears are real. There is so much beautiful grace in the world but it is tainted by our failures. I have never longed for anything more than just for all of us to come together in unity. I do not know how life started to be like this. This is where living as an empath is hard. I feel sick to my stomach that as our ancestors were filled with so much hope and promise discovering a new land and a new way of life it was already to late. I feel so much disgust that as humans we allowed another race to feel inferior. We still let that race feel that. I have trouble imagining how anybody could live with that fear. I can’t imagine we live in a World where somebody is killed because they are colored or their sexual orientation isn’t understood. But we do. How awful is that. My son has to grow up in a World full of hate. Right now I feel overwhelmed and hopeless. I will never give up. Now more than ever I have to keep trying. Maybe if I can reach just one person and change their way of thinking. What is on TV is not reality. Nor can you believe everything you read. We have to exercise our minds and give in to the possibilities of what is. It is when you start discovering new ways of thinking will you truly grown in empathy for all things that you find.