I am just a guilty as being captivated by the evil sources behind the doings of man that I will never be able to understand. As a teenage girl I was fascinated with the works of Anne Rule and any other author of true crime that I could sink my fingers into. To me then it was trying to understand how people could be so evil to each other. Without a second thought. In some way I thought by learning all that I could it would leave me more knowledgeable and aware of those people that surround us. Maybe that was part of the problem. Instead of reading about serial killers such as Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy I should have been reading about the real heros of our time and not the ones that terrified our nation. Do you know who are hero’s were during that time? Me neither. It seems if you didn’t committ a brutal crime then you were hardly worth mentioning to anybody.
Let’s start more simple. When I worked in hospitality we were told to do anything and everything possible to ensure a positive dining experience. You could serve 10 people amazing and only get one customer singing your praises. You could serve 1 person poorly and by the time your shift was over everybody knew how your appetizer’s came out after the entree. Through no fault of your own the stigma of poor customer service hangs over your head. You see we as humans rarely care about the good deeds we do. We only want to hear about the bad. When was the last time that you paid a true compliment or celebated with somebody for a job well done? We rarely do these days. What we want to see is goor, blood, and crime. I have to tell you something. I used to watch Law and Order for years. Until something happened. You know that caption at the end that says these crimes are not a true replication of what transpired…yadda yadda. These crimes are actually taken right out of their crime books. They change some details but for the majority these are real things done to real people. The mind can’t conceive anything that we can’t achieve. All this violence, these storey lines. This came from somebody’s brain. Whether or not they feel this way, well who knows. There was this one crime that was committed right here close to where I live in Edmonton Alberta. He was a film director. He submitted a movie script for review and he got laughed away from the spot light. Not one to be deter he decided he was going to film it anyways. The only catch was he was going to film it but really act out the crime. He posed as a girl online and found some hopeless guy to come over for a “date”. Do you see how weird this is? On a first date we think nothing of going over to somebody’s place for the night. That is how messed up we think these days. There is no more courting, wooing or dating. It is straight to the wam bam thank you mam, “What was your name? Oh nevermind I don’t care.” After about a month another gentleman was watching the news. He noticed the house first and what was being said was horrorfying. You see a month before he met up what he believed to be a Foreign Beauty for a first date. What he found when he arrived at the house was a garage half open. I don’t know about you but if my first date had me rolling on my belly under a garage door I would have probably left. Needless to say the video camera that was pointed on him as soon as he stood still wasn’t enough. It took the masked man that came around the corner holding a knife that told him something was wrong. But he still believed that the beautiful girl that he was talking to still existed. It took awhile before he realized that he was about to be killed. He still wanted to believe that there was a girl somewhere that he was going to fall in love with. Even when he managed to get to the street all bloodied and came across two people going for an evening stroll he still didn’t get help. Could you imagine these two happened apon what was going to become a murder scene and did nothing. This is who we are now. Incredibly desensitized to our surroundings. When the knife yielding masked man came around the corner he did get spooked and recoiled inside. Shutting the garage door he knew then that his nightmare was over. He sat in his truck and replayed the details. He never told anybody out of pride. He was embarassed to think that he could have been fooled by this crazed man.
His failure to tell anybody resulted in an innocent man getting murdered. Imagine that guilt. What this man was most upset about was that nobody in Hollywood liked his script he decided to film it himself. But this time he was going to make it real and show all those naysayers just how perfect of a script he had wrote. Isn’t that the most demented thing you have ever heard of? It was on that show “Web of Lies” or one of those First Date horror stories. And to both of those shows there has to be thousands. Like hundred of thousands demented tails that people do to each other. We would rather believe that horror and evil is easier to obtain the goodness and virtue. We have Halloween that celebrates goblins, ghosts and witches and all that jazz but what do we have to just celebrate being awesome. I don’t mean Pride, or Christmas or Easter. I mean something that genuinely celebrates the uniqueness and greatness of each and every one of us. We don’t celebrate that much anymore. Nothing to indicate our pure of heart. Take our schooling system. Not only do we focus on the most trying times in history and talk about the evils unleashed on the World such as Hitler, Mussolini, Slavery, and the financial crisis of the 1930’s. I don’t remeber the good history that we learned at all. I know I studied I took 2 years of history post secondary but all I remember is the grotesque acts we completed on each other.
Slavery is another one of those hideous activities that we engaged in just for fun and power. There is no other way to explain the desire to hold another being captive and have them bend to your will. The means of torture that they experienced during that time has now become the perversions of somes sick twisted games. I know this. I have read the words of Soljourner Truth and I have seen the parallel means of torture being used. One book written in the late 1900’s and the other written almost a century later. Nothing has changed. Even the color of the skin of the hands of the torturer haven’t changed. We have moved backward as a nation if we allow the engagement and subjectification of our human race to continue. As I read the words of Toni Morrison in Solomon’s Song I feel disgust for who my place in the human race. I know I wasn’t one of the ones who imprisoned and ensalved. I also know that my family had nothing to do with the slave trade at all. My family was descendants straight from Russian and landed right here in Canada so I feel confident in saying we never engaged in this primal activity. We believed in a simple life with simple practices. Take from the land and from each other only in the quantity and quality in the amount you can give back. In her storey there is a conversation between father and daughter about the development of land close to a lake. The setting is in the late 1800s. The daughter asks her dad why anybody would ever want to live that close to the lake. His response was because that is what the white people do. Imagine this simple conversation made me sad. I felt that his whole being, his whole essence, everything that made this man was being erased. He didn’t want to embrace his culture his race out of fear of being punished. Maybe I read too much into this simple line but in my heart I could see the white wash of this beautiful culture occur. To do something because out of fear of not fitting in is no way to live. Now you have to ask yourself, did we as a civilization allow for the culture and beliefs of the humans we share this beautiful planet with be washed away out of shame. Did we after aboloshing slavery not embrace the people we destroyed for who knows how long. What did we do to build up these humans to ensure that they could fully embrace their being? To me a feel that only thing we did was the encouragement of conforming or basically suffer the consequences.
We breed violence. From the very beginning of time we were created out of peace and love. Now we engage in these horrendous acts to keep as supressed and from truly embracing the beautiful creatures we are meant to be. We do attract who we are so if we are continually romanticizing violence then what choice do we have but to become that violence ourselves. We engage in it in everyday. We watch movies such as The Purge, The Nun, Strangers Next Door etc. We think that Jason, Freddie, and Mike Myers are the perfect soul mates. We allow for the continuous abuse and rape of not only our youth by each other. I am not just talking in the physical but in the emotional sense as well. There has to be a way to change the directional course that we have put humanity on. The only thing I can think about for me is to continue educating, continue elightening and maybe in time there will be more like me who desire to see a postive change in the World. I can not be the only one that is sick of the horror unfolding in front of our eyes.