Created from nothing. That makes us nothing. Destined to return to nothing. That is why they say the answer to everything that we are looking for comes from inside of us. That is where all our energy started from. Where we were created, right? The secret of my life was created inside both my mom and my dad. And each of them would have been created inside of their parents and so on and so on. You can’t be created unless those two things occur. That is the secret to the creation of all life. Or maybe it isn’t so much as a secret. But we were literally created from nothing destined to return to nothing. That would mean every little blip here in the Now makes it a blessing. I guess that is why so many books are being written about it. I guess that is how I got myself started thinking about it. If we return back to nothing then that mean each and every single one of us deserves to make the best out of their time. How tragic is it for us all to live in a way anything different from that.
The stress, the turmoil, the anguish. All these different negative emotions we let into our lives. I want to feel everything in the present. That is why I do the things I do the way I do. I know the most precious gift I have is when I passed on the gift of life to my son. I finally understand what my mom meant by her saying that all she wanted from us was to live better lives than her. I never truly understood what that meant. Now I know. She wanted to make sure we had the opportunities that she didn’t. She grew up poor. My mother was very proud when she was able to go to work to pay for our private figure skating lessions. She even saved up to make sure we had the club jackets with our names on them. Yes my Dad probably would have bought them for us but I remember the look of pride on my face when we figured out what she did. That is the mother I want to be. A combination of all the women I grew up around. My Grandmother and Mother and Aunties and such. One thing we have in common is our love of taking care of our men. I had no idea how much I was resisting being married. Life no longer feels like the tradition senses that we did. I mean we had one channel. The party line. We had dinners at a table and family game nights and cousins sleeping over. Life was super fun. I guess I had always hoped our lives being married would automatically be like that. When it wasn’t well I don’t know why things happen the way they do. But it’s almost been 3 years since we well you know. Getting off topic here I am now waiting for the perfect moment with my husband. Rekindle the romance hopefully. See what else life has in store for us. I think that is kindof why I am just warming up to the idea. Knowing our luck we will be having twins by next summer if we even think about it. We will just hold off for now. I am waiting to hear on a few things so for now hands off. That is how you can tell you are definetly in the right direction.
If you just find a way to sinnk into the curves of life you will feel yourself getting pushed into different directions. If you can relax like a jelly fish and enjoy the ride you will see the world through the rose color glasses. Here’s why I finally decided to give up and leave it to fate. My husband and I have have been intimate a handful of times. He claims that a Dr told him that he could have kids and I was told the same now here we are with this adorable little boy. I mean looking at my son you know you just got it right. Top it off I have the life I have always dreamed of. I think this is everything’s way of saying I have got it all right. There’st this peaceful glow that overtakes everything that you do. I know just how I want to infect the World these days so I am excited for the next step. That just once again confirms that dreams evolve that we evolve. But as always in time of true silence. In the dark. Does anything actually happen if nothing is happening at all? Or does something need to happen for nothing to happen at all? If anything happened to something would anybody care or would they only cre if nothing happened to anybody as long as it was nothing happening to them?
So if we were created from the nothing of two other beings would they be able to feel our existence if something happened to us? Would they feel a longing in their heart if they didn’t hear from us? Didn’t know us? Didn’t exist? Would they know what they were missing though if there was nothing to miss? Telling yourself that somebody is nothing in order to gain in what? For what? Let’s talk about ex wives for a moment. Anybody’s ex wives oh and the new wives. You need both to exist in order for the storey to make sense. This is a general statement trying to understand the existence or lack of existence of each one of us. If we were created from the essence of two people the creation of our essence would forever bind those two. When the couple who created you split up and remarry there are two things that happen. Unless the couple who remarry have children of their own they have no ties holding them together into the next life. How could there be? There was no new energy when there carbon bodies collided so hence forth no direct link holding each other to one another. That is why marriage is important. It is the preservation of the energy that lays within each of us. Well it is not so much marriage that is important but the way we look at our energy. The more life we create the more energy it takes from inside each of us to create it. Watching something that we created and for some of us had grow inside of us is also a very all consumming act. Well it can be.
The fact that we were even created tells us all that we need to know. My favourtie quote of all time was by Einstein, “Energy never dies it just changes form.” I remember thinking that we were all energy. Lil balls of energy waiting to overtake the World. At least for a moment. One moment. Would you rather be a burst of light like fireworks or a hazy lantern in the distance. Energy moves through everything around us. Constantly moving and changing form lighting up the night sky living amongst the sand. That is why we should want to preserve everything around us. I have this urge to garden now. Both inside and out. I love watching all life just exist in it’s purest form. Thank god for amazon. I ordered some succulents and tulips (or maybe lilies) off amazon. I want my house to be a tropical oasis. I am exicted for that. Kombucha for everyone!!! I have this insane desire to try and uplift everybody around me. Life is not meant to be alone. I saw a teen crying over by the high school at my house. It took everything inside of me not to stop my car and give her a big hug. Shame on whoever made her feel that way. I remember later coming home and seeing the headline about the 10 year old who killed herself. Her 9 year old sister found her. Not to mention the two kids who were stabbed in Toronto in front of their mom!!! Don’t even get me started on the poor 15 year who overdosed while his “friends” taped him on Snapchat. The World has gone completely nuts. The idea that anybody feels this intense hate in their last moment of their lives drove me crazy. I remember reposting the stories and having somebody tell me that I should start writing to my MP etc. This was an excellent suggestion to change our law because our laws completely suck but I need to do more.
It’s true what they say when you happen apon the right path it just hits you like a ton of bricks. The problem the world is having is we bully people into not having a voice. So many of these children even or adults feel tey are nothing. They feel that they have nothing else to give the world but what they don’t understand is their existence is more than enough. When you fail to see that the answers to everything that ever existed from the start of it all. All started from within side of you the world will be a very rocky place. It isn’t rock it is just difficult to understand. Anything becomes a little hard to understand at times. Their’s breakups, theirs disease, theirs death. Their is everything imagineable coming at us all at once and what I want to do is provide a venting place. I am looking at getting a PO Box so people all over the World can write to me. You know how counsellors tell you to write it all down and burn it etc. Well if you needed some loving insight then you can always write to me. It might be easier writing to a “fictional” character that can provide 3rd party insight. Just something I am working on. We are all created from the same place. Well not the exact same place but kind of all the same place right?