The hardest conversations we will ever have are the ones that we have with ourselves. We somehow have convinced ourselves that we can talk down to ourself because it hurts nobody. We critize our hair (both body and on our head), we hate the color of our skin, our height, our weight, almost everything. The only time we smile at the reflection in the mirror is when we become so unrecognizeable by covering up what truly makes us beautiful. We feel that we are more accepted when we conform to the ideologies of the rest of the World then to hold truth within ourselves.
“Are you pulluting the world or cleaning up the mess? You are responsible for your inner space; nobody else is just as you are responsible for the planet As weithin, so without: If humans clear inner pollution, then they will also cease to create outer pollution.” – Eckhart Tolle.
There are so many hidden intrinsic meanings in just that one simple quote. It’s true. It seems right now everybody is on this Green band wagon but not doing too much to make any personal changes themselves. It is so much easier to point a finger at a mob then to turn that finger around and point it at yourself. What are YOU doing to contribute to a more conscious Earth? Just recenlty I have been taking a very hard look at my garbage. I know a lil strange but I am trying to learn exactly what can be composted or what can be receycled. I love the idea that a once thriving fruit or vegetable can be returned to their original state to help more plants bloom into being. My mind never made that connection before I just saw it as gross rotting food. Not essential nutrients that should be returned to the Earth. Maybe that is something for us to consider as well. I know we are very complex beings when it comes to how we treat those that have pased on. We feel a strong connection to their body even though they no longer inhabit it. Bodies were never made from the ground so it seems odd that we think that the past place for them is to be returned to the ground. But maybe that is because all beings eventually return to a degenerated state…maybe? Consider animals. They don’t barry each other do they? The deceased animal becomes food for the next generation and so. It is called the circle of life for a reason and in our ignorant strive for fame and fortune we don’t honour that circle very well. Why are we holding onto the idea of this World and this Life being the be all end all. If you consider that the planets existed 150 million years ago and now we are just coming into being there has to be more to this whole thing. It is ony called life because that is how we identify it. Maybe death is in fact life and life is death.
Now back to the conversations that we keep confident. There is a reason why you should never accept yourself talking down to you. Maybe there are several reasons. When you become used to hearing all these negative thoughts about yourself you actually start believing in them. When others start saing mean things it’s not so alarming because this is the style of conversation you are used to. Negativity breads more negativity. Our minds and egos thrive on us being insecure and lacking in confidence. The only way to try and combat these thoughts is to be present in the moment. It is a hard thing truly to understand. We think that we are living in the moment. To truly live though you have to quiet your mind and allow yourself the opportunity to just be. Feel the energy of the people around you. Listen to the sounds. If you catch yourself thinking to far ahead or to far behind bring yourself to focus. It makes sense in theory but in practice it becomes very hard. Mostly because we are all guilty of rushing around to make ends meet, raise our kids, have a personal life, feel worthy in the community. We do nothing though to honour this time and space in this moment. Has this current moment never happened before? Of course not ever second brings us to a new beginning a new time to correct the mistakes from the past. Don’t dwell on them but find a way to use them to catapult you into the now. I know. I get it. I am a thinker too. I love to plan and dream about the future but maybe it is ok in moderation.
The reason why you shouldn’t think too much about the future is because you aren’t there yet. And quiet frankly the future never comes. It is always jussst the current moment no matter what we have to say. When you start living for a future moment it makes the current moment incredibly painful. You rip apart everything that is happening in your life in the current moment because you want to be in the future right now. If you are single you want to be married. If you are poor you want to be rich. If you are homeless you want shelter. We all have these wants and these notions of how life should have been. How life was dictated to us to be. We feel inferior to those around us that seem to have it all but the reality most of us walk around like zombies incable of appreciating the current moment. The problem with obsessing with the future is you truly can’t appreciate your current moment. Dreaming about a mate doesn’t make them appear. In fact it will probably attract the biggest loser of all time. As you dream, you feel sadness, you feel defeated, you feel anger…do you see a trend here? Say you went for a coffee and you started to think of how much better it would be if you had a partner. Now stop that thinking and bring it to your current moment. How is the coffee? The mood? The atmosphere? If you feel your thoughts start to drift either bring them back or ask yourself why do you keep thinking about it. Hit it head on. Now if you feel that this thought is taking over your being then you need to devise a plan or forget the idea all together. So what if you never found a mate. Who would you want to become in order for you to be happy. Being married limits you to the activities you can fully embrace. Ask yourself what you can do to make your life in this current situation feel fulfilled to stop your toughts from drifting.
When we continuously talk down to ourselves we create a World where it becomes easier to lash out to the World around us. We are angry. We are spiteful. We blame the World around us for the life we had to live through. I felt that anger. I was that anger. I blamed the world for not looking out for me and allowing me to go through so much heart ache. Every chance I got I used it as an exscuse to be a bitch or to get sympathy. It was like I couldn’t be nice to myself so I was going to get others to do it for me. The problem is you can’t expect to get your love tank filled if you are the one taking from the resources to begin with. It all has to start with you. You can either be the poison that infects the World or the cure. It is completely up to you and the path you choose. For me I decided that I might as well try a new way. My life wasn’t improving by doing nothing so maybe it would change if I actually tried. I catch myself all the time looking at my grey hairs, my wrinkles and now even my smile. I just had thee teeth removed and they can’t fit the gums for 2 months. What a humbling experience to have a part of you removed. For me it was just something inside of me that was causing me great pain. There are so many others that have lost limbs, hearing or sight. We see everyday these incredible people overcoming these huge obstacles where the majority of us are just assholes for no reason. Is that what the world is left to a whole bunch of assholes? When did it become so common to just steamroll over everybody and anybody. Where is human compassion? If you don’t agree consider the world of memes. Memes are designed to ridicule and make fun of another person. Imagine if you took a photo that you were proud of only to see it circulated as a joke. We are assholes plain and simple. Our minds tells us it is a joke but if you ask your true self. The self behind all of that BS you would see that you actually know that too.
“How is it possible that humans killed in excess of hundred million fellow humans in the 20th century alone? Humans inflicting pain of such magnitude on one anpther is beyond anything you can imagine. And thats not taking into account the mental, emotional and physical violence, the torture, pain and cruelty they continue to inflict on each other as well as on other sentient beings on a daily basis.” -Eckhart Tollee
Is this the meaning of life? To be complete assholes and drive others into madness so they can never become the true form that they were destined to be. Have we destroyed our inner essence to the point that all we do is breed more negativity and hate. We have imploded as a species and can all say we are guilty to some degree of being mean. Mean girls exist, bullying exists, obnoxious men exist. Anything we do to hurt each other makes us just as guilty. If you think you are so perfectly innocent then you must be a saint. I will simply ask any one of you were you stand politically. If I take an opposite stance guaranteed you will start to state all the negative facts about the person I support. We can’t help it. It has infected our everyday life. It usually starts when we get up and look in the mirror. Is that a zit? nose hair? grey hair? Maybe we should wake up thankful that we are able to spend one more day in this physical body. Here in the physical body we can feel so many emotions. We can hug our loved ones. We can smell the flowers. We can appreciate the simplicity in our current moment and use it to catapult our day. If you are ready for the next step compliment a stranger. If it is your first time it may feel weird. They may look at you like you are trying to get it on at 8 in the morning. Don’t worry. Just pay a compliment and move on with the rest of the day. Chances are you will never see them again and if you do maybe you have a new friend. Who cares if the rest of the world changes with you. You owe it to yourself. You ow it to your true essence. To start the day loving yourself first. Be present, be beautiful, just be you. I can promise you that is more than enough. You are more than enough. The secret you are missing to a happy life is so super close to you. In fact that secret is you.