Anybody can sit behind a keyboard and dictate to the World who they wish that they could be. We all have these moments of greatness only to be reduced to rubble at the first sight of discontent. We can all take beautiful photos freezing us in time. I started writing done my thoughts for many reasons and also for no reason at all. The struggle of life is impervious to us all and I am just looking for a way to make it easier. Maybe I am selfish doing it for purely selfish motives. Maybe it is because I am selfless and after surviving my struggle I turn with an open hand to help guide you to shore. In times when we feel like we have no one my goal is to help you see that at least you have me. Who am I and why do I care? I am human with a heart and I know that nobody deserves to struggle or worse yet die alone. I have suffered extreme heartache through the loss of family friends and family furbabies. All loss is hard. It will alter the course of our life in ways we could never imagine until it is thrust apon us like a noose. My question now is do you take that leap forward hanging yourself with your own discontent. Or do you look backwards to where I am waiting for you with open arms.
So who am I and why do I care. Well first off I am a mom. Until that little boy entered my life my World had no meaning. I was serving at a Squash Club barely making ends meet. I dressed up took pretty photos and drowned all my sorrows in beer and tequila. I had no real connections with anybody anymore it seems. My best friend was hundred of miles away and it’s not like I could just show up at 6 in the morning for a tea and a chat. Life happens. It pulls us in these directions that we don’t entirely want to go. Sometimes though in life it is in going in those directions that you truly do find yourself. If it wasn’t for moving to Alberta I never would have created the life that I have now. Hence why I am reaching out. I realize now that in the World of constant keyboard warriors we long for a real connection. Something that is more than still photos and words typed out old fashion like. In order for me to come across more genuine I have decided to venture out in the World of videography. Yes like anything my videos are amateurish at best. I have not had any formal training in this genre. I did take typing back in school but typing was just that. Focus on the home row and endless typing of “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.” I wonder how much different my social media would be if I grew up in an era destined for it.
At the end of every post I will include a small video of just general chat. You can see I am a real human behind the hundreds of blog posts I have written thus far. My goal is to take the video before I write the post (or during) just so you can see how real in the moment it is for me. I am working on establishing trust so that when you really need somebody you can see my heart and intentions are pure. I feel that we don’t have enough of that after all. I will still take photos to capture the art form that I love. My purpose though is to connect with those of you reading. Maybe to inspire, maybe to help, maybe to just make you see that we are in fact in this together. Coming out of my shell is hard. But I can’t really preach to the World to stop being afraid and be all that you can be. Who would believe in somebody who doesn’t in fact life the life that she says is so easy to live. That is why to you my readers you will see me raw at the end of each post. Take this morning for example. My son has been sick with the flu for two days so sleep is scarce. I snuck away for a moment to write this lil blurb. I also took the video with no plan, make-up or wardrobe. It is just me reaching for you to say….”Hey I know it’s Monday and we are in this together!!” Together we will take it day by day. Some days we will look hagard and be ready to throw in the towel. For those days though I will look towards all of you for strenght. Just like when you have those days I hope you look to me as well.
If the last year has taught me anything it is to not be scared. I think that is why I get on stage over and over again. My knees still wobble and I am ackward as heck (some say I am like a modern day Lucille Bay….in all honesty I am not trying to be comedic I am trying to be poised and perfected. A skill not yet mastered I would say). My throat dries and any memory of the answer I remembered is now gone. I am that deer in the headlights that stammers like David Spade one Saturday Night Live. To me it has never been about placing. I have been bullied, ridiculed and even teased at contests but that never has stopped me….ever!!! I refuse to let that one bad egg be the reason why I stop wanting to shine. I am shining like a beacon of hope trying to find those other lost ships in the night. I see you, do you see me? Come ashore!!! Come to my shore. I promise to give you a raw real look of who I am inside and out and in time I hope to empower you to feel the same. Until then enjoy the video ❤ Please give me any feedback or suggestions of what you would like to see. And of course give my instagram: @sweetrubybluez and facebook: The Prairie’s Passionate Pin-Up a follow. I will be posting more videos on there!! Till then xxx