Eye of the Beholder

As my morning begins to unfold I am thankful that my son has fallen back to sleep. Not because I am needing a break but it is nice to have a few minutes (hopefully longer) where I can focus on just being me. You know that tranquil inner peace that comes knowing that your day will unfold into this natural transgression of greatness that only you can truly appreciate. In this moment I am thankful for the many strong and beautiful women that surround me as I realize that not only are they a manifestation of my destiny but in the larger scheme of things they have become my friends.Lately too my mind has gone to a place where I no longer cringe at the reflection in the mirror. Maybe because I realized that the reflection looking back at me is one of a selfless creature who for once in her life has put others ahead of her own needs. Not to say that I have neglected myself but I know that the feeling I get from empowering others also has the same effect on me. The World is a much better place when you celebrate exclusively instead of inclusively. No longer do I feel held back by the skeleton or ghosts in my closest. Yes you tried to pull me back into the darkness but I know by allowing myself to enter its depths that maybe just maybe this time I will not be able to find my way back out.What I have to offer the World is something that lays inside of all of us. We let the impact of the outside World dictate who we aspire to be. We have leaders mocking teenagers and teenagers mocking each other. Where is the compassion and celebration where we all come together and realize, “Hey this is our time together and we better find a way to play nice.” Ignorant to the fact that we will all find ourselves in the same pine box or maybe even reduced to ashes. No life is more important than the one bestowed apon us. It doesn’t mean we have to become a tyrant in order to have our voice heard. Maybe the only person who needs to hear our voice is in fact ourself.We can walk the World a million times over and will fail to find a friend if we are unable to be a friend to ourself. There is no way that a person who is empowered by their own being will entertain the idea of being brought down to a level that maybe they tried their whole life to avoid. It is hard to come out of the ruins that have plagued us since the dawn of time. I can only imagine the cave man fighting over who had the better cave only to be eaten by a T-Rex. If only they had acknoweldged the true beast in the World instead of selfishly trying to get ahead of somebody else. There is no getting ahead. There is no race with accelaides at the end. Just a feeling of inner peace of a life well lived and only you can control that. Only you have to live with the feelings of isolating and terrorizing others. Trust me if you are lucky enough to make it to 80 you don’t want to become a prisoner in your own mind rethinkning of the days when you could have shown more compassion instead of reducing yourself to hate.Your beauty, your own true essence of what makes you truly shine comes from within. Radiating confidence so that those who are within your range have no choice but to feel intoxicated by your presence. True friends will make you feel like time stands still. Like the only place that is heaven on Earth is in your presence and it becomes hard to leave. What you hold within you has the power to heal more than you will ever know. At times it will feel like everybody is leeching off of you and it is only because the World needs more positivity. It’s hard. It is very hard to find yourself in a room of individuals who don’t share in your passion. Who fail to realize that true success only comes when we all succeed. Leave no man standing as you try to lift those up with you. Why would you ever want to be the reason why somebody cries? For myself I have learned that I would rather be the reason why somebody smiles. That invisible hug that wraps around their own face jumps off of them and hits you smack dab in the heart.We all have a love tank and it is unrealistic to think that one being is responsible to keep that tank full and operational. We can get that from friends or even strangers. I am that strange person cheering you on from the sideliens. I don’t need to know you personally to know how much whatever it is you are doing means to you. You wouldn’t be doing it unless it did. Who am I to take away from that. There is no sinking feeling then walking into a room and feeling those that wish you would disappear. Like daggers hitting you in the back it is hard to keep your head tall. Even harder when every pair of eyes falls apon you taunting you to react. Wishing that you would for once lash out in the same way that they have onto you. Sadly there is nothing that can truly be done to sway those to think the way that you do. There will always be people hoping and wishing that you will fall in your face. In fact they will laugh when you do. Use that laughter to pick yourself up and find your inner strength. There is nothing wrong in failing. In fact failing allows you to reach higher dreams then you ever imagined possible. It is impossible to think that we can save the World and sway those to think the way we do. Think of slavery, think of the elite, think of those that only think of themselves they have never changed their thinking patterns. Don’t expect that they ever will.It is natural to have those that are the opposite of you. Polar oppositves. Negative attracts positive. Positive attracts negative. When somebody cries you want to comfort them. When somebody beats you you may become jealous or insecure. Yes it is true the more you focus on the good you are putting out that the more good will be bestowed onto you. It isn’t an actual fact but an actual hope. Good things will happen just like bad things. It is inevitable. The journey that we are all on is both unique and the same. We are all so quick to be something that we are not. One can say the fact that my hair is blue is a sign of becoming insecure in my own appearance. In reality I dyed my hair blue and changed my personna to Sweet Ruby Bluez. I entered into a decade of mourning over the way we treat each other. We haven’t learned that if we have nothing nice to say maybe it is best not to say anything at all. There will always be vultures existing in the desert sky. I am merely hoping to become that shield. My eyes are now focused on those that make their way in front of me. My reflection only matters in their eyes no longer my own. Only I can truly know who I am on the inside for I am bestowed that pleasure. My work and focus now is to help others see the lady I have become and maybe in time help others find their way.

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