Living not to Die

Have you ever watched the movie, “The Croods.” It’s a children’s movie about a caveman family who on the advice of their father lives their whole lives in a cave. They are taught from a very young age that anything new is scarey and should be avoided at all costs. That if you indulge in the new and the unknow you would most certainly metet with an untimely demise. It started me thinking about the shelter lives we tend to lead these days. Take for example our mental well being. So many of us have become so imprisoned by our own homes and in the very worst cases are minds we fail to live the lives that we were destined to do. There is nothing wrong with sheltering yourself and your family from the outside intoxicants. There is however a very fine line that we limbo between and fo most of us we fall short on the side that will drag us into to the abyss.

Our lives have been exchanged for the material wants and posssessions that at one time were the times biggest treasures. We went from fine quality of goods to mass production of junk that will make their way to their landfills before we even discover who we truly are. We have numbed our sense to a point where we no longer dream. We don’t listen to our inner selves that tell us anything is possible. It is human nature to avoid what will kill us. What is killing us know is the fear of failing socially. What if so and so’s cousin from Timbucktoo doesn’t like me? So what if they don’t? We aren’t born to appease each other. We are born to bring pleasure onto ourselves. So many of us forget the power we once has had as a young mind. Where every dream was possible and make believe was a part of our day to day routine. What about fake it to you make it? Dress for role that you were born for? What would happen if you let go of the chains that bound you and step into the unknown. Would you fall into enternity to never hit bottom? Would you know if you were falling if nobody was there to catch you? Would it matter? Does it matter? To whom? To you?

My life that I have so willingly laid out before you I did to help those that need it most. I have spent most of my life living to not die. Toying witht he possibility of what could lay on the other side but to chickent to actually visit. My life that was filled with emptiness and darkness was all mine. Nobody else could enter unless I allowed them too. I began to build up this fortress to prevent me from falling. It was obvious at that point who is friend and who was foe. It always amazes though that thrown stones at glass houses. None of us are perfect. And we are all capable of mistakes destined to live in this wheel of uncertainty until we are ready to break away. You have to break free from those tentacles that have surrounded you. Even sharks smile right before they bite. My life became this place where not only was I just barely living I was allowing somebody else’s thoughts of me to dictate who I was.

We all want to feel alive and that is why we engage in some senseless activities. Jumping out of planes, driving super fast, drinking, doing drugs. These are all different methods of taunting the fates. The more we engage in destrucive behaviour the odds increase that maybe just maybe this time we will not be making it out alive. It is our sorrow that wants us to numb our senses. We would rather feel nothing then feel anything at all. That physical pain that grips you in your deepest moment of sorrow. I am not talking about the douche bag ex who cheated or left you cuz honey we all know that that is for the best. You may not be ready to admit but when you find yourself with the right person you will reflect back and left. I am talking about that physical pain that grips you when you lose somebody permanetly from this World. The thought of never having a conversation or hugging them tightly will haunt you for the rest of your life. There will be these intense bursts of pain that tell you that you can’t go on. That living another day without them is a torture no human should ever have to bare. Now if you can imagine never having that intense love if your life. Isn’t a day surrounded by the most beautiful energy worth a lifetime of pain. To be able to say we loved another human so much that it takes our own breath away is the greatest gift. That is what we are here for. That is what life is about. The true constant amongst all species is the desire and fulfillment of love. Without it we are just that burst of energy waiting to ignite.

The problem with finding that type of true love is it comes camaflouged. The World doesn’t want you to know how great life can feel. By the World I mean those evil beings that just wish you incredible pain. A life of suffering for us as they sit atop their mountain peering down at us. They think they know the true meaning of life. Rewards, recognition, fame, fortuen. All that means nothing when you are ready to cross to the otehr side. Your last breath will be your own as the rest of the World takes a sigh of relief that for even a moment that great negative presence is now gone. Until of course the next great evil fills it shoes. We only have to think of the great heros throughout time that have rocked our nation to it’s core. I mean the loss of life that brings with it a feeling of loss that can never be described. I am thinking of the day that JFK, Martin Luther King Jr and Princess Dianna left us behind There are many but specifically I am thinking of these three. The whole World stopped and took notice when their light became no longer. To us. The small us. The ones that think our lives are insignificant to people such as these. We have to remember that at one point they were all just like us. The difference isn’t in their social status or financial wealth. The difference was in their heart. They didn’t live these jaded lives where they couldn’t see the good in their fellow man. They believed all of our lives were worth living. They actually believed all of our lives were worth dying for. Think of the soldiers who in the early 1900’s fought for us to live a life where we had freedom. Freedom to live and love and even laugh in the right company. Men and women sacrificed their lives so that we can live. That in itself makes me want to get out of bed in the morning. That right there tells me to dream bigger and to never give up. Somebody I will never get the chance to know fought for me. Before I even existed they decided that my life was worth a chance. How can we not try to ignore all that outside pollution that gets thrown at us from all angles. I am not good enough for you? Ha! Maybe you are not good enough for me. My heart is pure and my intentions are honest. It is not that I am over confident or feel entitled. I feel that I am worthy of a life filled with happiness and in turn it is my duty to infect those around me. Those men didn’t just die for me they died for you. So if they did that for us then we must be one in the same. Which means it is time to live our lives without fear of dying. Because it is in dying that we fear the life we did not live.

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