“Care For Someone Who Doesn’t Deserve It.”

We are all aware of the 10 commandements. Words to live by. But in today’s modern World we need a twist to those 10 things that are written in a language that we can’t understand or maybe we refuse to undrstand. This is a very general statement but it seems that for some we keep our vision narrow because that is what has been passed down to us over thousand of years. Am I right? Our habits and our behaviour have been inherited when we start to adopt a new way of thinking and being you get shunned and tossed in yesterday’s rubish because what the hell else are you good for. Conform or go away. Our favourite colour is shame. It goes with every colour. Our shame keeps a bound and limited to our limitless potential. So in an era where we have icons such as Kate the Great to look up to why not talk a chapter out of her book. Literally. Her last chapter is 22 tips on how to live your life more like Kate.

I choose tip number #21 to write about, “Care for Someone who Doesn’t Deserve it” because we alll have those days where we feel like we don’t deserve it. We should always be our own best friends. Above anybody and everybody else. It is only ourselves who know whether or not we are worthy of care. The last time I checked we all need alot of self care. To minimize the torture that our minds have free reign on. I am frequently inside my own head counting on the ways that others have made me feel not worthy. If I listen to what is being said out there I wouldn’t even warrant the basics of any care. We can become our own worst enemies. How is it any other way. When we all the chatter of others to ring in our ears louder than another’s voice we are reminding ourselves that we maybe don’t deserve the care that we spend our whole lives seeking.

So yes by singing our faults for others to see. Turning others heads with negative self chatter. Admitting to them that what they believe there just a small inkling of truth. I was one who believed that I didn’t warrrant any positive care. My continuous spiral into a negative realm always seemed to capture me in it’s web. The more I struggled to set my myself free the worse it was to come. There is this void that enters into a persons being when they feel like they have failed. The void becomes deeper when they feel they have failed somebody they loved. The pain runs deeper than an common man can comprehend. The World closes in on them as the air they had grown accustomed to vanishes. Struggle for any sort of normalcy in a modern day life. We rely so heavily on the love of another that when it gets taken for us we become lost. A former shell of what we once were. We forget that there was a time in this existence where that object of your love wasn’t a part of your life. We fail though to remind ourselves that we once held our head high and entered a room. Even if it was once kindergarten you can find that confidence again. Once we get rid of that negative pollution that has plagued us for years.

Love never has to be reciprocrated. The best forms of love I have ever experienced was that love that was entirely one sided. People who deem themselves unworthy of it our very appreciative once they are reminded what it feels like to feel love. A wave of emotion of love that has come and gone will move through you. Serving as a remidner that yes there was a time when life did feel good. When I wasn’t constantly looking over my shoulder. Hoping and praying for a different ending. Maybe one that I can control. One that won’t hurt as much. Without that hurt though did a great love ever exist? Did your life mean something to you as you take your breath for the last time. Was there a moment in your life that youc an say that you loved yourself with a full heart with little or no regret of your past rtransgressions. Have you forgiven yourself for the mistakes you made because we have all made them. That is life. Mistakes make us human. Forgiveness in quantifialbe portions make us compassionate. Too much makes us a fool. There is a fine line between loving somebody who doesn’t deserve it and getting used. Another problem with that is it always seems like the user rarely has to feel guilt or shame for their actions. Only the purest of hearts will feel the pain as they try to move forward in an unrecognizeable World.

When you begin to believe that you are not worthy of love you begin to deter it. Love as a positive emotion can not break through the walls of pain. Pain, hurt, grief, jealousy are some of the sins that will attract the worst kind of feeligns that you could ever desire. Why is it that some of the most beautiful souls have the most painful stories? Would you listen if it was happening to somebody who was filled with an impure heart who only took, took, took. No you would gravitate towards the one who was kind. Who gave onto others before even herself. The one who sat quietly in the room that nobody noticed. We assumed that because she was quiet she didn’t need our love or our support. That those in need will always find their way. If they don’t then they will ask…right? It is very impossible to say who is or is not worthy of any sort of positive attention. It very just might be that there is no way to identify who warrants self care or not. We will never fully understand the journey because it is impossible for us to walk on top of the same path as somebody else. Lives and people cross for no other reason than fate. Death and life have a way of bringing us together as fast as they will divide. Maybe we all both do and don’t deserve care or love anymore. We are so far from who we once were. For me I am always guilty of wearing my heart on my sleeve. Especially when it comes to those that don’t deserve.

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