The fourth way to get your Hepburn on is to “Say what you think.” Saying what one thinks seems obvious at first. But have you ever found yourself surrounded by people where you are constantly doctoring what you say. You think it over and over again and replay the word in your mind. Partly because you want to impress the people you are with and secondly because you want to fit it. Think of a car salesman. The successful ones are the ones that truly believe in what they are selling. They say what they think and they can rebuttal any obstacle because they believe in the product inside and out. They are confident self-assured and their is an air about them that we all get intoxicated if we stay in their orbit for too long. Same goes true in the opposite scenario. Somebody who is thinking this car is a dud I just got to unload it will come across as nervous or that over confidence that makes us run for the hills and never return.
What about when you find yourself at a party where one of your friends couldn’t make it. The drinks flow, inhibitions are lowered and maybe the conversation will turn negative. It is hard to say what you think in the moment when you are surrounded by peers. You get lead astray into conversations that you would rather scrub a toilet with then actually have. Call it peer pressure. Call it social norms but problems always ensue when one isn’t true to their authentic self.
There is of course scenarios where you can say and think too much. “Let sleeping dogs lie.” “Don’t stoke the fire.” “Don’t ruffle any feathers.” “If you have nothing nice to say maybe it’s better to say nothing at all.” Why engage in a conversation that may irritate or bother another. Some people love the chaos that comes out of talking just to hear their one voice. We all have had or have somebody like this in our lives. They create drama just to sit back and watch it unfold. They truly have nothing nice to say and align themselves with the biggest gossips (if they haven’t already done so) in order to make themselves feel important. They creted their own pedestal just so they can peer down their nose at people. These people (at least to me) appear ugly. Like they try so hard to leave a beautiful impression but that is an impossibility based on what they are made up of.
My mom used to say that I didn’t leave much to the imagination. Not in the way I dressed but how I lay everything on the line and let the other person decide if they see value in me or not. I mean I would introduce them to all my skeletons in the closet. It wasn’t for attention. I was sick of getting attached to somebody and them using something in my past as exscuse to bolt. Some would have called me mouthy as I had no filter. Not about anything. Anything was free game. Even after pouring gasoline on the fire I would site there and stoke the embers just to see if I could get it to reignite. Maybe that was just my immaturity shining through. There is a fine line between saying what you think and saying too much. It’s crazy to think that after publicly writing in my blog for all these years that I would encourage you all to leave something to the imagination. Hey why not? I think we all have on or two secrets that we keep under lock and key. Some things are just too hard to acknowledge out loud. You know?
There are times when saying nothing at all is more than enough. If you can’t say what you think then just have no opinion at all. Why get involved with something that maybe to controversial and leave you feeling irate and upset. Not everything needs to be scrutinized some things can just be left. It’s called being man enough (or woman) to walk away and minimize the impact that you would normally have. Just imagine. Imagine a world where there are no trolls. Where people don’t lurk behind every stone just to turn it over. You know the ones that I am talking about. The internet trolls that just appear to make one feel insecure and to ruin ones day. There will always be people who will say too much. It’s not because they think that. Maybe they do. But when it comes to throwing sh*t against the wall they keep doing so until something sticks. Imagine that is who you are. Constantly looking to be the detonator to somebody else’s nightmare. This is just the world that we live in. Not everybody is going to like you and not everybody is going to play nice. Why alter what you want to say in order to make somebody else feel good.
The real reason why you should say what you think and not a revised version of what somebody else believes has to do with being true to yourself. When you begin to alter the course of your natural thoughts in order to conform to anothers ideaology you begin to lose your sense of self. If you can’t be truthful and honest with yourself first how can you able know what it will take to make yourself happy. The further you get away from your own true north the bigger problems you will have. There will always be backlash to saying what others want you to say. For one you may or may not know what it is you are talking about. How can you back up what you are saying if there is no solid ground in which to take hold too. What makes us unique and sets us apart from everybody else in the world is the way we think and form decisions. We all have something to bring to the table. Imagine though that instead of bringing that casserole that you kick *ss in at making you too brought a jello mold or dinner buns. Nobody want to bring that crazy foreign dish that will make your taste buds zing. We would rather be plain and boring then to bring that flavour that makes us special. Yes sure maybe that one person in the room won’t like the heat that you bring but that is ok. What about that one person that your dish speaks to that makes all the difference in their world. What if that dish saves them from a bland world lacking salt and lustre. Spice is the key to a good life. There are are thousands of spices that can form to make limitless combinations so why stick to just regualr meat and potatoes. There is a reason why explores such as Hudson and Cartier spent their lives looking for the Northwest Passage. They were after a new way of thinking, of being, of limitless opportunities. They had enough sense to perservere in their goals while saying what they think and maybe not what they mean. One has to truly believe in what they are thinking in order to reassure the world that they aren’t going insane. Your thoughts should enhance the world and make it a better place not segregate and divide.