It took a long hard battle to get here and at times I never thought it was possible. My own negative thoughts and energy prevented me from becoming anything more. I am not sure what sparked inside of me. It began long before my brush with death. Well not too long because at 37 I was still lost and struggling to find my way.
I have to keep asking myself if I died tomorrow would this be enough? Right now I am stuck on a tank running on empty during a gasoline drought. In the distance I see something though. Like a mirage just taunting me at times I want to move forward
Most conversations I have are with my toddler and my furbabies. Don’t get me wrong I love them both to bits. But tonight I got lost in a conversation and I now know it is the human experience I crave.
I chose a life where I get to do just that. Celebrate each other for what makes us unique and stand out. Live for a purpose and love like there’s no tomorrow. We got to find a way to make living less scary and make the World a safe joyous place for everybody.
I have no idea what to make of this World. We are so far away from discovering our own true purpose yet none of us are alarmed. To live in an ignorant oblivion or to be blasted awake the time for living is now there is far too much at stake.
Of course my literary journey took me down the road of “The Lost Dogs”. You know the storey about Mike Vick’s dog fighting around. I have a lot of nervous apprehension reading this. To me animals are on the same level grounds as any inhabitant of the Earth. I get we think we are superior…
We are just this one very small very minute fraction of space not to mention time. I too used to think that my purpose was just to work in a job I really hated doing things I hated. Life sucked. I stopped believing in myself. I can’t tell you when it happened but I had zero self esteem none
Feeling like a million miles a second but also feels like its not moving at all. To never have no words spoken to have this incredible smile radiate from deep within. Those feelings couldn’t be a mirage could they?
Two hearts beat and speak in the same language. Nobody else can get in the way of that. I think I believe this. I want to believe it but I feel like in order for me to truly do I must have gone mad myself.
Sometimes the hand that feeds you is the same one that you bite. It is ok to make this simple kind of transgressions. As long as you realize that once made sometimes you never get the chance to heal that wound. Some marks will always remain no matter how much sand passes through the hour glass.