The 5 Heartbreaks of Becoming Sweet Ruby

Do you have any idea how unique you are? How by you unleashing your true potential you have the power to change your life with the residual aftermath of changing your World. Not THE World. Just yours. Why should anybody else’s matter? I used to envision success being popular, pretty, skinny. All these superficial qualities that seem if you weren’t born with or into you could never every obtain. There were a lot of instances that changed the course of my life. The most obvious and most common is heartbreak, then of course death either yours or somebody you love and just a series of unfortunate circumstances that would forever and permanently altered my World.

#1. The potential for death running parallel with life both for me and my son. I will forever be haunted by the knowledge that a week prior to our emergency another 28 year old mother lay fighting in the same room. Her family losing her prevented in my family losing us. When you dance so close to the other side and may have taken a few steps over you live differently. You are more observant to your surroundings and the people that you inhabit this planet with. I know our World was cruel but until that day I was living blind. I was ignorant to how far we have digressed as a nation. How so many of us live this entitled existence ignoring how it is we came to be anyways. Since that day I have been trying to learn and grasp as much out of life as I can. I do it for myself but I also do it for my family. I am testing the World to see just how cruel it can be. I travel and try to explore new communities which has lead me also to new opportunities and possibilities.

#2. Losing two friends a few months apart. One was ready and told us as much. He was ready to go but still at 60 the loss was hard but manageable. The other another life taken tragically too soon. To be in a room watching friends and family make deals to the devil that they were never going to honour. Well there is not too much more than you can do then to be there. I realized in this moment as my heart felt powerless I realized that I did have some power. I could listen and hold them for as long as was needed. That is when I realized that the greatest power we have within us is the power to love. That nobody should ever have to journey alone. That no matter what any one believes when you die alone at a young age that doesn’t make any sense there has to be something, somewhere weighing heavy on the heart. Who would you talk to? Who could you trust? Especially for an addict to open up in that way. There is no surer way to lose friends and family faster then to tell them you are an addict. Trust me on this.  Nobody wins in this situation.

#3. Losing my beloved Herbert. No matter the age of any life it is all the more tragic when they die young. “Only the good die young” or “Legends never die” there are no words imaginable to nullify the pain. I had some pretty emotional experiences with fostering as well. Losing Koda, Dori and her pups, Lena. Each and every one of them has an imprint on my heart. There is a soulful connection when words never have to be exchanged. My husband always likes to mention that having so many pets opens us up to that much more heartbreak. Right now in this house there are 14 cats, 3 dogs and 4 birds. That is a lot of goodbyes. With that knowledge though I have tried to find the answers. Something to help make it all make sense. What I do know is death is inevitable we are all destined to make it there one day. So with that information I would look to resources that talk about life, existence, philosophy. Everything to explore the possibilities of what or why it is we have all come to be.

#4. And always weighing heavy on my heart is my two dear friends that were apart of starting me on this journey what feels like a lifetime ago. I have made a conscious decision to think of them at times. Like a smile and acknowledgement of look at me I am doing it. It takes the sting of loss somehow. Anybody that has ever came into my life though no matter the duration I think and honour the time we spent in life. It is hard not to be thankful for the life that I am living and I can’t help but think that maybe they have a hand in it somehow. I talked to a psychic once and she was overwhelmed with how many people I had on the other side. Don’t you want to believe to that they are over there waiting for you too? If you believe in that then why aren’t you trying to live a better life. IF you truly believe that your friend or family that you loved so much is sitting up there watching you wouldn’t you rather have them beam with pride then look at you with disgust. yes family will always love you they have to. Let me tell you something. Family doesn’t have to do anything they don’t want to do and if they are treating you poorly cut them off. You do have only this one chance that we know of so why waste.

#5. Most heartbreaking of all is just how cruel we are too each other. We ridicule the fat, we terrorize the skinny. We love to tease and taunt and be horrific. We go to war and kill each others parents and children. We live in a World where our children or committing suicide. We live in a World where a 9 year old sister came home to her 10 year old sister dead because of bullying. I say we because we are all equally at fault. The idea that there is a child crying somewhere too scared to go to school. Scared to ask for help out of fear that it is going to get worse. Never going to prom or college or getting married. Never becoming a doctor, lawyer, politician. Never realizing their true potential because we created a World where treating each other is ok.

These 5 reasons made me get up one day and take a stand. Take a stand against mean people and bullying and whatever it is going on in your life. Put yourself out there Ruby. Do whatever it takes to make YOUR World safer for those that live in it. That it is ok to not save the WHOLE World just yours.  The people you are searching for will find you. You will make your world a safer place. Give the World a place to reach out to talk anonymously to release the burden from their heart.  That’s ok. Till you are ready I will pave the way waiting for you every step of the way.

Sealed Forever

Sealed with Love

Sweet Ruby Bluez xx


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