My Over Emphatic Heart

To me these words I share with you is all that I give to the World. There are many people that I could turn to yet there is so much shame in just beginning to form the words and release them from my lips. Every step of the way I am told to not be so public, don’t be so upfront. The reality is though in a World where we have become so accustomed to be insensitive and lacking compassion I have taken the reverse. I have been called so many names because of the road that I chose to take. Very often right now I am being called the “Damsel in Distress”. My reality is that I believe life to be distressing and those constantly casting stones should have to be willing to receive stones back. Why keep engaging if you don’t get the response you are hoping for? What drives you to torment a young family? Is it the absence of yours? Or just a sick twisted desire to get in the middle. I have never been one to make hard lines in the sand but times do call for it so the line has been drawn.

The empathy I feel for those around me is always stronger when it comes to the ones that I love. Just recently me and my family have been subject of the worst kind. The public accusations when there was no proof. Women always tend to get the sympathy vote right away. That is the way it should be. We should always try to believe those most vulnerable coming to us when they are weak and scared. However, sometimes those accusations are false and directly impacts another family. In this case it was mine. Me and my family were lead out to slaughter than ridiculed because I couldn’t see it from the other side. My son is 2.5 years old. He needs more protecting then somebody in their teens. Somebody capable from knowing right from wrong. The idea that the person who casts the stone first resonated deep within me. It showed me all the ways that social media is flawed.

In one full swoop my inbox was lit up like a Christmas Tree. People were instructed to hunt my family down like dogs with nothing more than a here say comment made from a person spurned. In that instance I imagined others in a similar situation. Maybe they have a strong family support, maybe they don’t. Imagine those young impressionable minds reading comments filled with violence and hate. Maybe it is a circumstance where you will see them the next day at school or at work. The evil that we spew out into the World by some has the power to end their lives. Imagine being so ashamed or so embarrassed at words beings said that aren’t even true. I think about the first cases of cyber bullying that first came out. Real people hiding being fake accounts tormenting them for their own sick twisted gains. One storey I remember was that of a young girl who’s mother was upset that her daughter didn’t get invited to a birthday party. She created a fake boy who then turned into a boyfriend. He later broke up with her, citing lies, calling her names all to get revenge. She ended up hanging herself in their family’s bathroom.

Why would anybody want to get under anybody’s skin that way. Wouldn’t you rather have a conversation like human beings. Some of my best day are those when I am in love with my life and the World around me. That includes the simple conversations I used to have while out and about in my community. Then my community got taken away. Maybe a bit of my sunshine got taken away then. Maybe it is still a bit overcast but at who’s doing. I have tried to occupy my brain with activities I enjoy. Now though my house feels more like a chaotic nightmare that is just buckling me in for the ride. Like I have always maintained there will be dips along the way. You can’t ride high the whole time. I have tried to be consistent with my genuine emotion and feelings because my hope is somewhere along the way I can connect with somebody who feels the same way as me. I hope to empower those that feel that maybe there struggle is not valid. That maybe those with a more painful tale of woe carries more weight. And if there was a scale to measure such a thing maybe it would but the reality is there is no way to determine anybody’s level of pain and suffering. We are all different. I do love a good cry though. To me it just feels like the all time release of emotion that is necessary to cleanse one’s soul. In order to grow you have to feel something. The good, the bad, the ugly.

We are always a work in progress. We should never stop striving to be all that we can be. Nobody’s journey in life is in vain. We all have our purpose and our time to shine. There could be times when you may need a little extra TLC or a reminder on where we are going. Don’t we all use GPS from time to time to help us get to where we need to be. There is a reason during interviews there ask you what are your short term plans, 3, 5, 10. Without knowing where you are going how will you know when you get there. What if you forgot where you wanted to go. What if you veered so far left when you should have gone right that now you are sitting there helpless, feeling used. We should know where we are going with no fear or hesitation. It is ok to go a lil off roading as long as we eventually find our way back to the main road. Detours never last forever eventually paved roads will come.

 

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