The problem with revenge is it never hits its intended target. The shrapnel that is produces seems to hit everybody else in the general area. Don’t remember the game when we were younger when you would whisper a sentence around the room and see just how distorted the original message became. Pretty much anytime words leave our lips there is the possibility of them being misunderstood. There are the words unspoken and everything else in between. Words spark emotions inside of all of us. Some hurt, some heal, some just make no sense at all. We can’t physically determine the impact certain words will have over our overall health or others in the room.
Revenge though. Better served cold or maybe not at all. Does it make a difference to anybody after it has been served or does it sit heavy in hearts embarrassed of who we have allowed ourselves to become. I get angry. I have lived angry for a better part of my life. Revenge in small doses is something I did dabble upon. After each and every time though I felt worse than I have ever before. That was the start of my own self relization how shitty it felt to be shitty. The guilt slowly eats away at you like a poison. You have very little faith in your own judgement anymore. Like a toxic wave pool of negativity you find yourself lost in the spiral and a little nauseous from the game. I think the only thing that really pulled me out of it was seeing my son for the first time. No matter who you were before it all changes when another human life is dependant upon you. I learned then that people tend to not appreciate your honesty. I made a comment about how scared I was to bring my son home. He was so tiny with the teeniest little toes and fingers. They were not going to let us take him home. Aren’t we all scared the first time we take our child home. At the hospital I always had somebody that could answer my questions or ward off any and all concerns. All of a sudden it was like I became the glue. The glue that was necessary to keep us all together.
There are so many sides to every storey that it is absolutely impossible to get it all straight. There’s their side, yours, the truth and what people want to believe. Whatever serves our purpose for that moment will determine which course of actions we want to take. If we are having a bad day or something is weighing heavy on our hearts we will tend to pick the most negative outcome. It is not because we want to. It is just the nature of the beast. Negativity attracts negativity and once it starts it is really hard to start getting back control. No matter how hard we try sometimes it just catches us. In our weakest moments it will bring us to our knees peering down the dark hallway daring ourselves to turn on the lights. Except for in this moment we love how much comfort the sorrow it brings. For me I try and remember something incredibly happy. A loved one maybe that we lost or a time when life just seemed easy. I like torture myself with those memories. It makes everything else fade away.
So when acting out in spite it shows the flaws in your character. Not only does it reflect poorly on your upbringing but it will infect all those that are to come. We copy those that we admire and who do we admire most than our parents or grandparents? We do have the power of choice and freewill and that is where we get the chance to show who we truly are. How do we handle our stress? When there is no other outlet but aggression or to let it go which do you choose? Are you one to respect your elders or do you laugh as they struggle with the simplest of tasks? When somebody you love and care for is going through hard times are you somebody that is there or you one behind the scenes holding all the strings. So many of us feel that we have to fit into a certain mold. We have to be a certain way or get people to see us in the best light. Why pretend to be somebody you are not when your genuine self is the best that you should strive to be. Even as you gravitate towards your own truth and happiness you can still find yourself being pushed off course.
It’s ok to fall down. It is also ok to fall down repeatedly and even roll down that hill. We are human. We make mistakes. We have all said or done or a combination of things that we wish we could take back. People change. We grow up. We grow old and everything we have come to be helps define those that are still struggling to come into their own. Experience and failure are the two most important things in life. Without experiencing how would we definitely know for sure. And without failure then where is the proof that we even tried. Not that we need proof but it helps us in seeing our true potential. Our perseverance to keep putting our hat in the ring and trying new things. It is all about experience, growth and life lessons and being able to pass down the tale to the next generation. As a society we are evolving. Human nature is changing. We are all quick to want to seek retaliation instead of letting things go. If only we were more sensitive to other people we would see just how truly inconsiderate revenge can be. Not for yourself but for all the collateral damage. Somebody else always get’s caught in the crossfires then your intended target.