The Awakened Heart or the Fired Up Soul

Think about what we think we want or what we know we want or just spiritually what ignites our soul. We think we want that new puppy or that promotion but we aren’t really able to see past our own nose. We forget that there will be training involved to ensure said pup doesn’t ruin or furniture or heave forbid or new shoes. Promotions usually mean longer hours, tougher demands and everything else so mentioned in between. Unlike when we were younger and we moved effortlessly from day to day we cure the days that are now filled with bill paying and ends not being met. For what? For an empty heart and a soulless being. You wonder how it is you managed to walk this far without acknowledging your surroundings. In fact how did I get here and how did all this happen. Amongst the fog of our own self discovery we can’t even recognize our own self from the shadows. We have been weathered and worn beyond recognition trying to be present in a life that was never meant for us to live. Old souls feel like that. With so much going on around us and everybody right underneath your fingertips it is a wonder why we all feel so drained and confused. Life is simple. We breathe air and nourish our bodies the whole time wondering what this journey is all about. The only similarity that should matter is that we are all capable of free love. Yet in a World where there is so many to love we have taken a stance where it is far easier to hate. We either dilute or love or stand frigid in the corner. Now I feel it is time to unlock my brain.

To unlock my heart I need to open my heart and the only means in accomplishing such a task is to bare my soul naked for the whole World to see. I know I am capable of love and worthy of it because just like every being out there I am born from it. I too am one of those guilty of yearning for something that I was missing. What I thought that I was missing was a family to call my own. A husband, a son and the whole 9 yards. Sometimes when you force the Universe to give you something that you aren’t ready for you sit there with something mediocre at beast. My son is the greatest love of my life. There is no regrets in this path that I have chosen. Maybe the only thing I wonder about is did I force my husband to marry out of fear of having a child out of wedlock. Did my old school heart and traditional values impose onto the Universe and now I have to wait to journey back on course. Am I on course or off course there is no way we can ever be sure.

If my mind doesn’t know these answers who could possibly know. To ask another that doesn’t fully understand will only result in a judgement air of loathing and that is something that my heart can not stand. That fake air of mediocracy that challenges your inner core.  Friend or fo I believe you to be the latter because not many have honourable intentions these days. Who needs a ladder when you can just step up onto another’s shoulders and then their head. Bonus points for if they are standing in quick stand. Let’s hurry up and finish this game. It is not the intentions that should make us weary but the actions that soon follow. You can lead a horse to water but if he doesn’t drink is it your fault or theirs? Or maybe they drink so much from your own inner well that they have left you so depleted and screaming for air.  Some people you will spend your last breath trying to save only for them to sell the clothes off your back before you even grow cold.

Human minds and human hearts have become the same. Hardened stones that lay out in the middle of the street waiting for a naked toe to batter and bruise. Rumi’s teachings is all about getting rid of that energy and beliefs that insult your soul. Marinade in that self discovery for a moment. Or one of his best references is life as compared to a finely, aged wine. Wine is best the longer it is fermented. The history of the grapes being used or the vineyards that they originated from all combine together to bring an aromatic glass of fine wine. That it is only in the notes both hidden and the ones that come alive dancing to awaken your tongue in order to maybe anticipate a sweet kiss. A kiss from an unknown source brought to you by your only strong sense of self discovery and self. You can not fully appreciate and know another without a firm understanding of you. He also talks about teenage intimacy and how it is more like the rubbing together of two bodies. Like two stick rubbing together to ignite a spark young minds and bodies are like that. To burst into a hot flame only to be put immediately out. You can’t have it all. Only delicacy comes with age. And aging is a process not that not all of us get to indulge our senses in. Just like a harvest crop though you will get those that are ripened with perfection and of course a few moldy ones. Who are you when the crop is picked? Are you the juiciest fruit waiting to be picked that will indulge all the senses or are you the one the farmer leaves behind for the crows to pick at? Have you allowed the belief of others and those around you to contaminate your soul? Or have you remained strong in your convictions determined to make it last?

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