These Moments I Live For

I want to know you, do you want to know me? I searched the World for you only to find you so easily distracted by whatever tickles your fancy. My soul ignites when you are near and all I can see is you. Your voice is all I can here as I transcend into a different reality. A reality where we become one and we can dance the night away. Free from our insecurity and shadows we don’t shy away from our own reflection, we embrace the moonlight and the beams that dance off the water as we lose our self in the gentle ebbs and swallows with the tide. It isn’t enough for you to recognize me anymore. I need you to know me. To feed my soul the way I nurture yours. You never had to question my loyalty to you as it was always there. You could banish me away to never lay eyes upon me with the most contempt putrid hate. If you look closely though through the shadows you can see me still waiting.

Imagine searching your existence for what you believed to be your other half. The piece of you that held all your secrets, dreams and happy whispers . Only that half knows the importance and romanticism hidden behind every single word.  In their presence there is nothing to fear. The wholeness that surrounds you is enough to shelter you for an eternity and beyond. With enough shelter to weather even the finest storms you no longer have to hold your head in shame. Who grasps your hand as you hold it out amongst the shadows. Who risks their life to save your own. To have that answer will save as much time and angst. Imagine having that much sense to know entirely the purpose of our own existence. To finally understand the level of pain and torture that ripples through the hands of time. It is never enough. It will never be enough to last a life time. Once that life has slipped through then the next obstacle of hurdles does arise. What makes the whole process even that more insane is that nobody likes to take a step out and be heard. Yes in the safety of mass numbers you may have a voice but where were you standing before all this was handed down. Are you loyal to your people or loyal to humanity. Where were you before all this all happened. Taking a stand or standing to take away from all those who have been and will be suffering. The World is not ready. The World will never be ready to take a stand and unify the in justice of it all.

I am disappointed on the stance that a few are taking. Ransacking neighbourhoods depending. Justice. Depending justice for the injustice that they have decided to lay a heavy fist on. This is a complete disaster on our exercise of what it means to be human. I understand that we have never listened to over half of the World. We have come down with an even heavier fist and have prevented entire lineages of family to benefit from what it truly means to live in the land of the free. We never gave them any tools to be successful in life. Case and point in what is happening right now. To see the shops be vandalized on Rodeo drive for no other purpose then theft shines an even poorer light on the dimmest of situations. Life can not just be about whatever it is that goes through their mind when they get out of bed. To live in fear in a country that promises to be anything but. To prevent a whole race, a whole generation, multiple generations the ability to thrive and achieve success in their lifetime is deplorable. I have no idea what to say or even how to use my voice in this situation. Violence isn’t the answer nor is rational thinking. We lost those possibilities the first time we ever thought it was a good idea to keep another human in our possession. All of our lives are worthy of great things. Every single one of us should feel the hope and promise and potential of a life well lived. Nobody should have to live in fear.

Before this is all over in whatever way that means I still am curious…I want to know you, do you want to know me. I don’t care who you are or where you came from or even if you plan to stay my whole life. To connect with another being on a level that doesn’t question my morality. The way I feel it always comes into play. I just want to be human. I just want to smile and have the person across from me smile. In a non sexual way. The way that says hey whatever it is you are going through as somebody on this ride with you I understand. Just because the ticket says admit one doesn’t mean you maybe able to sneak in two… But what do I know. I am just the same lost confused lil girl I have always been. This time though I am not scared to reach for those stars and catch a dream. I try to avoid the things that hurt my soul. These days it seems like most everything does. Social media, the media, everywhere you turn it is like another football to the groin. When did common sense become extinct and self, conceited arrogant ways reign supreme. I know I am not much to look at but I have tried to strengthen the animal within. The one who used to have to hide behind a barrage full of insults with her head held high. To find peace and serenity in the most mundane. Life in the most simplest form brings me so much joy. To feel the words left unspoken between two souls destined to connect. Those are the beings and moments I live for. No matter how few and far in between.

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