Who would you be if you could be anyone? If you could live free of ridicule and judgement. Impervious to judgemental eyes as the waves of realization wash over you. The waves of your own eternal reality taking you to shore. Whose shore is it that you are searching for as you hope to one day reach where the sea meets the sky? Does it matter? Should it matter?
To think of how far we have become don’t we need to know where it is we have started from? We have to try and imagine the lives of the people who became before and what living meant to them. To try and understand the journey we have to appreciate all that we are that makes us the same. Each and every one of us started as a single cell. Somehow, somewhere in this time life started for all of us. The real changes come when we try to quantify our existence. Rationalize it one more say.
If you could somehow manipulate the waves to carry you to where you need to go, would you go. Do you have the strength to stand tall in your fervitude paving away your own destiny. Dance the nights away on the finest marbles partnered with the ghosts of the past and the shadows from the present. We will always find ourselves pitted against some of the most gut wrenching decisions. Most of these stemming from our deepest desires and passion to be loved.
Who decides when our dreams need to fade? To crush our childlike wonder as we ease through life with a transitional grace. We have accepted the dips in life to be just that and not the chasms that some insist on looking upon. The public battles we fight are nothing in comparison to the silent wars that rage inside of us. I have never been one to deny myself of anything. Especially if it meant being where I am now. I guess my tortured bittersweet menories like to play games with me. I have always lived my truth. Spoken the words that others fear. If you sparked something inside you would be the first to know. I don’t hold back. There is no point. My 90’s mantra still rings true, “No Fear “.
Remember how good it would feel dancing in the rain on a hot summer night? I mean before all this incestuous knowing of where we always are. I used to love just getting lost in the day not having a plan or knowing what to do. I think that is how my first tattoo came to be. We used to have to call in to check with my parents. A predetermined time as we were set out upon the World. I think the hardest thing now is just how obsessed we become on the World Wide Web. It is hard to know where one of us ends and another starts. Don’t we all feel inspiration from each other?
There used to be this thirst to get out and experience the World. Experience the World as it pertains to our lives and how they can magically intertwine together and then just as suddenly disappear. Every thing I have come to understand what I thought life would be is not exactly what I thought. It is so confusing to be part of a World so public and not truly understand where you fit in. That was the best part and also the worst part. Without my phone near me I had to do alot of asking of myself. You know self dialogue. Factor in the reading of Rumi who talks about our existence as we know it being equated to matter. With that thought in mind can you hear yourself talking? Now that voice that is talking is it matter or is it space? If you think you can’t hold it or possess it in any form then how is it possible for it to ever be destroyed?
Maybe it should be ok to live in the image that you feel most comfortable. If only eh? So many people trying to make sense of of their World in a World that is going insane. We are a mere blip in the grandeur scheme. Everything around us will one day reclaimed. All this outrage and insanity will serve only as a reminder to how we failed each other along the way. Our malls and stores will become mere ghost towns. Haunting us and taunting us of all we once were. Who do you want to be today? If you look in the mirror do you smile at your broken smile or shy away ashamed? It is ok not to be certain all the time as long as you try to be a little more you each day.