A Game of Cat and Mouse

I see so many of my friends taking these tests to determine their level of privilege.  Most are scoring dramatically lower than they would have thought. Can I be the first to say how much I absolutely hate this Word. Yes I know my colour of my skin determines the way you classify me. You think because I don’t attend these protests that I don’t care. I hate that you think because I am white that I had a hand in what was done to all on this planet. I hate that I have to feel shamed for something out of my hands. Me and my family were never a part of this. We were never the ones who thought it was ok to keep slaves. That used those that inhabited this country as a means to an end. Who murdered their fathers and raped their daughters. That wasn’t us we weren’t even here we were fighting our own battles in another country that no longer exists.

I know my voice can’t be heard and it will never make a difference. There is a real class of Earth’s inhabitants that is the real privilege. Just like in Oz nothing is as it appears. I know there is distinction between races, classes and even in sex. That opinion is not mine. The burden that is trying to be put onto my shoulders is something that I would never wish upon anybody. The nightmares that you want to infect my child’s dreams are not your own. We can’t win against the real white privilege that is holding all the strings until all of us below them come together. Here in the pool of mediocrity we don’t have to be segregated. Me an average white woman who doesn’t understand but tries my hardest. I ask you for forgiveness for the pain your family is feeling. I am so embarrassed that you think that it was me and mine that hurt you. I wish I could find a way to validate your existence and your pain. But me being a middle class white woman keeps being reminded over and over again to check my privilege.

There is no denying those that think they are above everybody else. These are the ones that insisted on developing a World where there are classes. Dividing us through upper, middle and lower they needed to add one more dynamic…the power. Nobody has power unless they control another. It meant more than being domineering over their own families. The beat, tortured, and sold human beings. Like livestock or cattle. Imagine having no basic human rights. NONE. These are human beings. Are brothers and sisters. To deny their pain and their voices makes us just as guilty as they were. To stand bold in your reserve and deny that they are treated differently…that is your white privilege. To plead ignorance to what our forefathers did. Our founders of our country built this country on lies and hate.  To deny this fact is like doing the whipping yourself. Do you think one of our fearless leaders could withstand that pain? The people we have entrusted the leadership of our country are the same ones whose ancestors actually built this country. The hard work didn’t come from white privilege all though it footed the bill.  It came from 13 million slaves making that trans Atlantic journey.  They are the ones who worked the land and got the economy up and running…where is the mention at that. A real man is the one who can take the beating through gripped teeth, holding back tears. Not the one ordering 100 lashes.

Who do I think I am writing about a topic so volatile? I am a woman who is trying to understand all of this anyways. I have dedicated my life to trying to understand. I submerge myself into the time and life of beings that have graced this Earth. I have taken the time to know people in our history like Soljourner Truth, Toni Morrison, Henrietta Lacks and any other being that had an impact throughout history. I don’t want to form any opinion from those in the media and time now. Most think that they can act like these lives never mattered. Almost like they never happened. I am so embarrassed to be lumped into a class of people who are so vile. I hope you know that if I was a part of all this I wouldn’t have been. I would have been that poor white family sitting on the hill on your owner’s estate. I would have sneaked onto your estate late at night and tended to your wounds. I would have rubbed your feet in order for you to stand the next day. I am only one person and I am at a loss. Posting memes will never help and neither will protests or riots. It just brings us back down to their level. Oh I guess I should never assume but I want to live our lives free of hate. Is there a way we can form our own country free of all this anguish and hate.

I want to infect the World with positivity and try to get my message heard. I know right now the pain is so deep. It must feel like every lash handed down throughout history is landing on your back. I wish I could take some of the weight off of you. Maybe in time I can. It is crazy to think that these elitists still hold all the power. A mere 10% of the World’s population controls all the wealth. More to that they control all of us. Ask yourself the next time you fight to be heard or you shouting your message in the right direction or are you falling on the same ears. The only way to gain control of the situation is through civilised channels. We the middle class have been pitted against each other. Once we learn to come together in one big union of peace and love we can work towards conquering the real white privilege instead of the cat and mouse game between you and me.

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