To Love Yourself First

Let’s talk about love. The type that is unconditional, knows no limits and is infinite. Even in your deepest darkest hours true love still exists. It doesn’t escape us when we forget to feed it, no. It looks for us in the corners of our mind that aches for compassion and a simplistic way of being. We can trick ourselves to love anybody. Repetition makes it feel familiar so it is something that we look for. We forget that the most important quality of love is that it is blind and can be found in everything we do. Unless of course we prefer to live on the other side.

Why do we search so hard for something that is destined to find us. To force ourselves or to try and will it to being somebody’s else’s affection will always result in failure. It is unnatural. The Universe will bring us to exactly where we need to go it is our destiny. Straying too far off course will only result in disorder and mayhem. We weren’t meant to live alone just die. When one calls so does the other. To believe that our storey has been written and just waiting to unfold. So is love is infinite and knows no bounds how come it is the most painful experience when it is over? That feeling of doubt, regret and longing creeps into every crevice of your thoughts. Remembering only the good you fail to acknowledge what brought the love to an end anyways.

True love is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. It is a sense of pride that you have knowing that you are doing the best you can with what you have and that is more than enough. If the smallest distance between two people is a smile why not be the one that smiles first. To infect the World with positivity and laughter all because of something so simple you. Yes we need to acknowledge and take into account all other beings in our existence but we also can not over fantasize about their worth as well. We like to fail to see the bigger picture until the bigger is what is left to see. We are nothing without something but it is that something that we rarely do find.  Love and it’s sweet infinite sorrow makes us long for the days we want to remember and ache for the ones we can’t forget.

So I try to value myself first and infect the rest with my positivity. It isn’t always that easy. Life has a way of kicking us down and trying to keep us there. Holding our head under water imperfections win by smothering us against our own limitations. To imagine an existence more infinite than ourselves is uncommon. To put ourselves on top of an unprecedented throne in order to rule over what we deem to be our subjects will be our own undoing. To love and to be loved are not even close to being one and the same. We can love another and they would be none the wiser. They would never notice the way our cheeks flush as they walk into the room or how our knees knock together as they come ever so closer. We want to feel like we are desired but we have no idea the feelings of desire that arise when you find somebody who reciprocates your desire on the same level. Or are we doomed that one will resonate at a higher frequency hence why the degree of separation. Our ying and yang. Or polar opposite. Is the reason why we fall into this dynamic is because we are destined to be?

There are some people that will work your way into your heart and never leave. You can never quite explain why or how.  Just a glimpse of their picture reminds you of a time when how things used to be. A soft touch a gentle caress. To be the one to have the courage to reach out once again. Ashamed of my youthful decisions and the course I try to outrun I long for your forgiveness but even I know that that becomes a hope and a prayer. If what I feel has an inkling of truth I know that somehow in time you will find your way back to me.  Simple and oh so sublime.  Until then what do I do to keep my heart preoccupied. When you find the right one everybody else seems obsolete. Only in the sense that the piece that you are looking for is still out there transparent. Or maybe not so much in this realm of unforeseen reality. Where anything is possible yet nothing really is. Dreams are for the believers who have fried their brain from hope. Who determines though what dreams are valid and worth living for and which ones you decide to let go.

So what about love anyways. Love saves you when there is nothing else left. It reaches for you in the darkness with no hesitation. The only fear that surrounds you is the anticipation that maybe just maybe you can’t see my hand in the darkness. Feel my presence. Let it guide you out. If love is our saviour than true love must be our ticket home.  To open your heart to all in an endless way really only benefits you in the end. To harbour the seed of hate will ensure that your field will be overgrown with insatiable weeds. Like energies attract like energies than consume the rest in their wake. Where do you go when the rest of the World is asleep. Do you fall down through the rabbit hole to a different time and way of being? Do you allow yourself to absorb the tranquility of the moment and use the opportunity to just be. Or do you waste away all the potential numbed from all the pain that came when you decided to love freely and then lost the game.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Oh this was beautiful. To know that love will find and I am worthy of love. This was just refreshing. A reminder of what pure love looks like.


    1. Thank you so much 💙💙💙 we all are worthy of such an existence 💙


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