My Sister’s Son

I try to imagine a period of time where we weren’t so obsessed with destroying each other. What was the point in making distance seem so small if we were just going to tell each other that we needed to self isolate. We expanded so fast that the World really felt like ours to control. It was always just the most superficially of exteriors. Just like the hay that broke the camels back it took one breath to shatter the World. That last breath that was taken as humanity crumbled by his side will forever haunt our dreams.  Everything that happened after that was all contorted and confusing and full of rage. The only emotion worth having these days it seems.

I am so over hearing he was a criminal, a rapist, an addict…do I need to go on. Why do we always point that finger outwards when it really needs to be pointed in. One person didn’t cause this. Society did. There is a time in all of our lives when we can do know wrong. Our angelic lil cherub’s thirsting for knowledge and love and all that is in store. We send our children off to school in the hopes that they will become well rounded adults. It’s not the system’s fault that the curriculum long.has failed us. What is really important in life is never taught. We laugh at the idea that we can all get along. We don’t see a couple in love we look for all the reasons why we should despise them. Maybe it is the green horned beast that rules us. That in essence would make sense. Watching others flaunt what you don’t have is a constant reminder of failure if that is how you define it.

I used to think somewhat that growing in this time was a blessing. That we were rewarded with our freedom from the sacrifice of others. That if we lived a righteous life filled with good intentions then we were honouring their existence.  I know just how entitled and wrong that thinking is. We live in a World where there is a very real possibility you will get murdered for the colour of your skin. Not for any other reason than just that. There are so many people who still walk our streets as racist bigots and you would never know who they were. You have two kinds: the in your face racist and the one that hides. Your biggest fear as a mother should be your child’s grades. Unfortunately if you are a woman of colour your biggest fear is if your son will make it home alive. Imagine being a mother and being told your 14 year old son hung himself from the trees. No mother in their wildest dreams could imagine that. So now I have to point the finger at every racist bigot and ask you, “WHO DEEMED YOU AS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR”. Hate crimes need to be punished I am not one for tit for tat but what the sense is keeping so much evil alive in the World. If they are behind bars you are making the victim’s family keep them alive. What a perverse reality we seem to live in. We have always lived in. When will we wake up and roll over and embrace the human inside of all of us.

Now imagine again you have plans to go out. You needed this night out because the last few weeks have been full of stress. Maybe you buy a new dress or get your hair set. You play your favourite tunes pour a glass of champagne and smile at your reflection. Your heart skips as your phone rings and your Uber is just outside. You meet up with your friends and have the time of your life. The bubbles getting to your head you smile one last time. Maybe that smile was directed at someone. Maybe it was just a smile that you finally felt content. All of a sudden from across the bar a man you have never met before jumps you.  Starts beating you over and over again. Your friends recoil in horror and there is nothing that can be done to stop that madmen. Once he lands his last blow he stands up and spits in your face calling you an f’ing homo.” There were 331 murders last year. All because somebody else determined how another should live there life. That’s unacceptable always. Till you know what it feels like to live trapped in another’s body how can we determine the proper feelings they are going through. Our conceited brain likes to make everything about us. Take that guy in the bar. Chances are he is not very easy on the eyes and has been rejected over and over again. Any man who hits a woman no matter what plaything they have between there legs is a coward. Human beings should never have to live in fear because of who they are, EVER!

Here is little more food for thought. If between 21-27% of murders are committed by strangers and 73-79 are committed by somebody you know what does that tell you? Most murders are usually on our minorities than any other class. That as a white woman we have a better chance of being murdered by our husband’s then we do of somebody of colour. Who really is the monster in this game? To listen to the words and heart of those affected directly will break you. One of the most beautiful hearts I know had this to say, ” They stole us from our country. You don’t have to worry about your son getting shot in the streets or hung and never coming home.” I think that resonates deep inside of me. My storey will never be close to the pain that she feels. I have an idea the pain of what it feels like to almost lose my son to natural circumstances. I can not imagine a World where my son gets shot simply because of what he looks like on the outside. That a tyrant would see my beautiful boy and hang him from the trees or put a bullet in his brain. That is our World. That is the reality. Yes I maybe the lucky one who was born the “right” shade but I am disgusted with who I am portrayed on the outside. If only the world was born blind.

 

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