I don’t know who needs to hear this today but let me try and explain. It was along my walk with my pup to return my book on Western Plain Garden that there was even more clarity for me. Closing my eyes to appreciate the warmth and take in the smells I was hit with smell of freshly mowed grass. Just the right amount of heat and I was whisked away to memories that happened long ago. Long before the pain and the feelings of inadequacy or before I learned the art of spinning lies to fit into my web. That little girl who had a love for life at a time when almost everything made sense. My grandmother’s canned peaches or the hens looking for ants and such free to roam the yard. There were so many unspoken promises that were made during that time. In the eyes of those that I loved I could never fail. Not in a million years.
When something tragic happens it truly does infect our soul. It doesn’t even have to be something horrific just an event that seeps within your core and infects you whole. Maybe not at all at once. But gradually just the same. You begin to morph into somebody else’s ideology, their misconceived reality of who you truly are. It is easy to take the first steps of self doubt and run wild with it. We couldn’t all live the same because it would infringe upon our freedom if you think about it, the dance we all do together is a true work of art. I want my life to become a reflection of all that I have gone through so others know that they too can believe in the silver lining. That as long as you can close your eyes and smile deeply from within say a small pray for humanity as you continue you upon your work. The work being to set an example for those you love. To there for those you care about. To not tarnish your own self image with acts of violence or feel shame. Live in your best image bask in all that you know. Take the reins for your life and run with them don’t ever let go.
Our existence has been made to believe in certain things and act in similar ways. We have always hated those that thought, looked and behaved differently. Almost like it is offensive to some to live happy. To live free. To live with respect for the World and nature and every being and creature that has ever taken a breath. Their wealth is measured by our pain. Look at the media and how it runs with the stories that they want us to ear. They leave out the ones that should be mainstream. If this is being down at such an “advanced” time in humanity imagine all the lies and cover ups that have happened since power was handed over to them. Did you ever try and understand what exactly happened that divided all nations. We would have to look at how the separation of any group happens. It almost seems a trade or barter was made to keep everybody apart. They twisted the historical significance of the Persian takeover to meet all their needs. Maybe it had to do with the “New World Order” that they wanted to hand down. No matter what you think or believe there has always been the myth and urban legend surrounding this idea. We can’t ignore what is happening but how is it we get to know the truth.
What I have always believed is their is safety in numbers. If what the myths are saying, even the Aztec and Mayan calendars predicted an end of the World scenario. Maybe it is on it’s way. Threatening to take all those and more. We have way more numbers to demand answers if we wanted. The middle class is the largest population group so that has to stand for something right. For those of you who know what’s coming yet you still stand on the wrong side of mankind well shame of you. If it is just my brain running wild with these ideas how does one even begin to make sense. We haven’t figured that out yet. We were given power to try and avoid this from happening like a carrot being dangled in front of a rabbit. I am not convinced that we were every meant to grasp the concept of true hell on Earth. The majority of us can’t bend that way.
I keep replaying the same nightmare in my head that just in saying something so publicly can not end well in my favour. If something like that were to happen though that would mean everything that I have ever said would be true. I can’t sit back and not participate in what truly makes life great. From my pets that I love and my garden that keeps me grounded there is so much more to be thankful for. Teaching my son how to respond to his intuition and how to make good choices. I can’t spend every single second with him but I will be damn if he doesn’t have good sense. I refuse to live my life felt like I am being held captive in somebody else’s nightmare. My path into learning the evil’s we inhabit the Earth with and whatever may stand in our way pushes me to a place where I have to believe in good in evil. If there is evil so dark that it threatens to stop the World then I have to be the light. So much light that it will help those out from the dark. I maybe scared but not scared enough to try and night share the gift of given. The gift of infinite happiness and uncontrollable love. I know I can’t save the World but I can brighten mine. At least for now it is a start. I start by taking the time to smell the fresh air and enjoy the sunshine.