Desensitizing Sex

I am tired. The whole world seems so draining in it’s entirety. There is no good news, there is no news, just a world filled with hate and entitlement oozing from all sides. Every morning is the same. I get woken up by a growing louder, growing bigger, growing more bored by the day. I fill lost in my existence but there is nowhere else to go. Everything around me has it’s piece to play in my madness. With the removal of one a complete mental breakdown will sure to follow as I already feel like I am tiptoeing on shards of glass.

With almost 6 months of quarantine under my belt I thought I had it under somewhat of control. Well until you see those that think or know? it is a conspiracy theory and frolic throughout their day with little respect to the company around them. Some say it is an infringement on the their rights to wear a mask. I guess I could see that. Others though seem to just want to defy what the powers that be say and I too can see that. What this social experiment has taught me is that we are only just puppets in this sick game. I bet you the rest of the world doesn’t feel this restricted. But they are also not being dictated by an orange skinned monster who knows nothing about how to run a country or the people in side those borders. What I couldn’t help but notice was the similarities between what is happening now and what happened in the 60’s between Martin Luther King Jr and JFK.

Why are we so opposed to the idea that all men should be treated equal. We are opposed to the idea that anybody anybody at all could be our equal. We have been groomed to believe that we are the be all end all being. Nobody knows more than us. Our opinion matters the most. Unless we can jump ship on somebody else’s idea and tag a ride along to fame. Look at those in the financial position to save us. The one’s that have more money than they can ever spend in a lifetime.  More money then their heirs can spend. Instead of neutralizing all this hate and building a world where we can all benefit and thrive we have decided it is far easier to keep the corruption running rampant. We have all the answers we need right at our fingertips but that entity that holds on to all of our freedoms doesn’t want to relinquish control.

I am disgusted with the idea that human trafficking is funded almost entirely by us. We have the power to shut it down by stopping how we spend our money. Stop feeding these big corporations that have done everything in their power to watch us die. Who but the powers that be can leak fentanyl into our underground network and start killing from the inside. We take our children on vacations only to watch them disappear the next time because some sick twisted government official say their picture and now your child has become their ideal next victim. Everything that is being done is to keeo us minimalized. We don’t get the real answers that we seek we just get fluff.

You have to believe that the most educated are the ones that we must fear. After reading from some of the greatest philosophers of our time you can see their justification for taking a young lover. Somewhere though those lines have been crossed. Their perversion usually started as an older men teaching a boy that is just coming into being a man. I know sick right? But if this ideology is what is being handed down then it would make me believe that some of the most twisted are the ones that we go to with the most respect. They have the means and the brain power to pervert and contort their sick wishes into being a reality. Yes pedophiles come in all shapes and sizes. They use our communities as hunting grounds. They will groom the parents. They will woo the child. They will do ANYTHING to feed the beast inside ANYTHING. Now give that pedophile millions or even billions of dollars and of course they could cover it up for hundreds maybe even thousands of years. What does that tell you? Nobody with any kind of wealth has ever really stepped in and put an end to this all. Even with all that wealth not participating in these deviance transgressions makes you just as guilty.

Why is it that for so many our life’s purpose is all about the multitude of ways we can get our rocks off of other people. We dangle a noose over their heads using blackmail to keep our control. You can say as many times as you want my body my rules but some asshat is always going to test your patience in that regard. Even guys that you think are your friends turn into a demon possessed when it comes to the idea of sex. I will never forget drinking with friends as we normally did every weekend. There was always too guys that tried to have sex with me but I was really not interested. Not even the slightest of possibility. I remember that far too many drinks were had. Probably in the nature of the drinking game we played and once again the conversation turned to sex. Having no interest I excused myself and went to have a cigarette. After about 10 min the one guy came and sat beside me. For whatever reason I decided to be asleep just so I didn’t have to listen to that conversation again. What happened next probably happens to millions of girls that have passed out at a party. He began to unzip my pants and I thought that there was no way he would do this to a friend. My reality is that as he was on top of me trying to get his penis inside me I started to push him off. I told him no. He told me I wanted it. With all my strength I pushed him off and ran inside and locked my friends door. I told my girlfriend and her brother and luckily for me they believed me. For the next hour he banged on the door apologizing. Needless to say our friendship was ruined. It is crazy though the value we put on rubbing our privates together in any shape way or form. I wonder who took our ability away to appreciate sensual over sexual? Who desensitized our ability to feel and connect with others in a deep soulful way? I would rather be a living piece of art than a piece of ass. I would rather remember the feel of deeply connecting with one then to superficially connect with them all.

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