The Tarnished Friend

I am a huge advocate for friends supporting friends. We all lose a piece of ourselves every time we dare to put ourselves out there. We bare a piece of our souls that upon hesitation could permanently seal those doors from everybody. Just because we don’t sip from the same cup the tea still comes from the same pot. That Cheshire cat that sits a top that tree leering, lurking are they a friend or a foe? Time will tell.

I like for the tarnished shine of those around me. Some are a fine silver that needs some polish in order to finally shine. Other pieces are just junk with no value to anybody no matter how much you buff. We all like to be #1 unless are fellow sister step into the spot light. She isn’t going to stay there she only wanted to warm up for awhile. Her heart even more humble then your own because in your victory she cheered now that the roles are reversed you slink away and cry. The only way to prevent any sort of jealousy is to not partake at all. We lose sight of the main purpose trying to take away from all that have worked so hard.

Everything I do is an insight of who I am. I am driven by passion not so much success. It just goes hand and hand. When you believe you can achieve anything you can move those proverbial mountains to even get more light. Chop down those trees of shade who want to cast you in doubt. Those who hate can hate anybody and those are the ones we should fear. Turning on a dime isn’t an honourable quality. It shows two things one if the light isn’t on you, you will blow out everybody’s candle so that we all stand in the dark. And two you aren’t the type of person I would want to be standing in the dark with anyways. You pain a pretty picture but when push comes to shove it has to be all about you.

My life has been defined in lots of pivotal moments. There have been those that have loved me unconditionally and those that just want to see exactly what it is I can do for them. Not what can we achieve together which is what every strong woman should want to achieve. Maybe that is why I have gravitated towards the selflessness of animals. In their eyes all I have to do is provide them the basic necessities of life and give them unconditional love. I wish more humans could be like that. It isn’t a competition. We will all get there in the end so why do we have to make the journey so difficult to get there? I had a conversation the other day with someone I believed to be my friend. Now here I sit today wondering on her authenticity. I can see the imperfections in her armour now. Like Achilles heel she exposed herself for her one true weakness. Her inability to celebrate in the victories of others because she is too busy wallowing in her own self pity. Every Queen deserves her day. I am deeply offended that in all the times I celebrated her she felt the need to unfriend me. It is ok. I see you now. You will never get another chance to get close to me.

I used to be able to withstand the pack of wolves. Now I don’t have time to get involved in the relentless battle of power and control. If that is the destination you seek I will gladly step to the side and you can be on your way.  Those that know me and truly love me deserve all my attention and respect. There is no sense beating a dead horse as he will never come back to life. That is the way that I feel about certain people. There are truly those out there who are just waiting for you to fail. They want to see you stumble and as they rush by they will kick dirt in your eyes and pretend like they didn’t see you. That way when confronted they can be oh really that was you? I never noticed. That is when you can call the easiest BS of all time. Since the time you came together in friendship they have always noticed what you have been doing and this time when you need them most they aren’t around. I love the attitude that popularity and fame is the secret to life.  I have 9 cats living in harmony and not a one care’s too much what the other looks like. They do get jealous though when one is getting more attention than the other. I guess they taught me that. That within all of us is a countless abundance of love that we can tap into at any given time. We are infinite love and happiness waiting to share our love with others.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many incredible women who focus on building each other up instead of ripping each other down. I do what I do because I have so much love inside me. Like a mother hen I want to protect my nest and ensure that those I love have the opportunity to become their best as well. I am a constant work in progress that I have willingly put myself on display. I cry, I scream, I beg to try to be heard in a world that at times seems to be moving way to fast. I don’t have time to help others see the good in me. Trust me it is there. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t be where I am today. When times got weird I find a way to keep myself relevant. I will never falter in who it is I am destined to be. I also won’t falter in those that have exposed themselves to me in ways that I can’t really ignore.


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