We all know her. Or are aware of her. Maybe we have gotten bitten maybe once, more than likely twice but when you run in small circles what else do you expect. We like to convince ourselves that maybe we are capable of engaging into these loving and nurturing sisterhoods but let’s get real that only last for so long. Some girls have these unrealistic expectations oozing out of them like nobody on Earth could ever hold a candle. I wanted to try and believe that maybe I was being unrealistic of how a lady should act worse yet a friend.

I am not one of those girl’s that looks into the mirror and sees a bombshell.  I just see myself as being me. Nothing special. Maybe a lil more than ordinary. Either way I am not the one who looks down my nose at others. Those who do just reek of this self righteous entitlement smiling like the chesire cat and all. Some girls will forever just be sore losers because that is all they see. It is a game where only one can win and if it isn’t them then there will be hell to pay. We want to believe there is good in everybody but seem people just aren’t born that way. When somebody exposes themselves to you in this way you can’t help but see the ugliness taking over from deep within. I work very hard to portray an image of positivity and light. I have lived in the shadows for far to  ever want to go back. Don’t you want to be known as caring, supportive, loving or is that only when you think you got the upper hand.

The poor ol me routine is something I am learning that I hate. To watch somebody ugly cry after they lose proclaiming that they worked so hard. We all work so hard this is our community. This is where we are supposed to come together and be safe. For me it is about bringing laughter into each and everyday by embracing the life that I am lucky enough to live. When I have to question why you even make a presence in my life I wait for you to take one foot out. For example if you try to sell me some of your products are the next MLM scheme but don’t support my art are the movement I am trying to make then hit the road. Not even the high road, Kick rocks and blow bubbles I have had enough of your type along the way. There will never be a time now, then or in the future that I will remember the time that you didn’t support me.

The Pin-Up style and developing something extraordinaire is for me to cope with the World. I hate who we are becoming because we have this over zealous self righteous entitlement. I can’t help but think about who I evolved to being along the way. At first it was rather depressing. But it is true what they say. The closer you get to living your true authentic life the better life gets. Some people only try to get to where you are going out of laziness, jealousy or defeat. They no longer believe in themselves and their own abilities so they leech onto the closest victim. Who else can we be but victims. I feel victimized in knowing that our friendship gave her access to other people to steal from. That I question the whole time that we were friends. That if the rest oft he World heard what she is capable of spewing I wonder how many people would stand by her side. I see her for what she is worth and it is only just a matter of time before others see her in that way too.

Don’t you question the opinion of others when they hold another so high on a pedestal. I question how it is that I can see them for the snakes that they are but others just see them us this lush green grass. I know better. You have struck me once before and tried to release your venom. You wanted to poison me in thinking that I wasn’t worthy of anything good. That maybe if I stood in your light long enough that maybe some of that glare would shine off. Some of us act like we are destined to be famous. If only we burn enough bridges and destroy our own fields. When you strike those to the ground just for them having the courage to be themselves you are the one that will suffer in the end.  Fake friends when exposed don’t last very long like a tortoise out of his shell. When exposed to the elements for the soft little creature you are all of a sudden you are standing their not only naked but all alone.

We live in with this preconceived notion that more is better. That the grass is always greener on the other side so it is up to us to look for greener pastures. That the only way to get ahead truly is to pave paradise and put in a parking lot. Make it like Fort Knox so nobody can get in. Have a restricted guest life in the passenger seat to your life. The only person you are truly accountable for is you.  Every other moment is trivial including the one before this, during, and after. You control your destiny.