Before We Were Kids

The convoluted truth of who we once were is a mere figment of our imagination. We dare not think against those that we think are our friends out of fear of being totally abandoned and isolated. We see glimpses of this behavior in the way the treat each other and even worse how the treat themselves. It is better to play a charade for as long as it takes then to let our true colours fly in order to avoid all the ill will and drama. So many of us hide our destiny out of fear of being exiled. For some we are already exiled as we did it to ourselves. Fear of the prosecution that we may find ourselves in, a certain social death is sure to follow.

What is the most hideous quality or characteristic that you can think of? Is it vanity? Sloth like behaviour? Gluttony? Maybe they can’t tell the truth to save their own life, the same can be said for their zipper being able to stay up. If you can look past one thing but something else stops you dead in your tracks what would that be? For me it is the grotesque way we can treat and speak to each other. I hate the way that manners have never come into style. The same can be said about being courteous and showing disrespect. The one characteristic I can’t stand is the self righteous entitlement that comes that infringes on another’s basic human rights. To be able to sit in the room with even just one person and speak ill of another just turns my blood cold. So many first dates of been spent listening to them bash their ex’s. Even worse yet when you find yourself in the middle of the hen coop listening to non stop clucks about somebody you don’t even know. Not only is that type of talk down right ugly but all I hear and see is the reflection of your own insecurities. Ladies this goes for you. There is nothing more unattractive then bashing anybody. Even if they are the most heinous piece of garbage out there move along. The more you bring them up the more relevant they are in your life but I don’t know about you but I like to take the trash out.

What so many of us are missing is a deeper understanding of self. Maybe we think that the attention we seek can be found at the bottom of a bottle or at the end of the night when the light finally comes on. No matter who you are the first person you should consider two stepping with is yourself. How can anybody else learn to keep with your step if you don’t even know if you lead with the right or the left. Tomorrow is never promised all you leave with is today. That point hitting home with each and every passing day. We want to hold on for as long as we can until our fingers begin to blister then pop and start to bleed. The past is the only true comfort we have. Odd in itself because for so many of us we wouldn’t travel back but in this present moment it is all we have. I hate that all my favourite movies now have a character in it that has passed on. Chills take over me as I know one day I will also just be a moment in time. Long in the past that no longer brings anybody joy. It was never up to me to bring joy into other people’s life. But knowing what I have come to know I have the power to bring joy into mine. If it somehow comes to be that it infects those around me all the better. But if you are a soul sucking leech don’t be surprised if I decide to pass.

We have made life to be so painful instead of being the beautiful piece of art that it is. There is hate coming from every which way it is almost impossible to care or even want to try anymore. To fight an invincible demon that runs rampant in our minds becomes such an exhausting task when pushed up against the realms of our own reality. Force yourself back there. Back to a time when hate wasn’t the only thing society recognized. You can’t deny that their are public executions happening live in our communities. I don’t even want to leave my house anymore because of all the insanity. If I could live on a little house in the prairie and cut myself off from the rest of the world I would. Just give me my pets and my family, oh and maybe my sanity too. I don’t like who we were dictated to be. I hate what we are doing to ourselves continuously in a wasted attempt of trying to make this world great again. Tell me when the world was operating in the way it should. Was it when the dinosaurs last walked the Earth or maybe it was when Socrates ruled the land. Maybe it was when Jesus was born or when Hitler was ripped a part. When did we ever live a day in harmony where we didn’t have to fear our own shadows. Too many people before us have been stabbed in the back with what lurks in those.

History doesn’t exist without us living in the present to make it. We can influence the ending if we ever truly wanted to try. Not the ending to life but the ending of war. Inside of us lies the ability to chose. We can chose to keep living as an asshole or we can finally find it somewhere deep inside us to live and let live and be kind. Rome wasn’t built in a day but it took one day to end it. Don’t we all deserve a story where evil doesn’t win and we can all live in peace? You have to believe that you can somewhat control the outcome at least we did once when we were kids.

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