The Convoluted Perception of Life

The meaning of life by definition has never truly been defined. I mean linguistically it has but our purpose for being has not. Each life different by design so open to be interpreted has the originator sees fit. However, we tend to close our eyes and hang on living somebody else’s dreams out of fear of living our own. How many of us decided after high school to go on to post secondary schooling? Was that by our own thought process our were we guided there by somebody else. Think about your final years of schooling. I remember taking aptitude tests to try and give us some intelligent perspective of what area of study we should be in to properly excel in life. Not what are you passionate about? When you are lying awake at night where does your mind wander? Just because your grades don’t reflect your destiny doesn’t mean you should avoid at all costs. The teachers employed to nurture our free thought may have had an ulterior motive. Grades are not a good indicator of what the student is achieving. Test results, projects and essays maybe don’t reflect that passion. Maybe it is a reflection of the teaching style and grading system that that one individual has. Imagine finding a subject that lights your soul on fire but there are too many barriers in the way. That will start the years going into adulthood left disoriented and alone.

We have to know who we are before we engage in a future that maybe not ours. I remember thinking that straight out of high school I must keep going. I was like a hamster in a well on the fast track to nowhere. Population one with nobody keen on coming to visit. I remember feeling empty inside when the realization began to hit. Life was meant to be hard and in addition to that struggle it was going to come with so much pain that you will be begging for the sweet release of death. In that pain though you will shine like a diamond if only you can forgive yourself along the way. It isn’t your fault that you got lost without a map. In fact you were dropped out in this forest long ago without even a canteen of water to quench your parched lips. The journey into self discovery can only fit the one however if you are lucky there will be others along the way.

So many of us wallow in our own grief because it is much easier to say we tried and failed and never get up again. I get that feeling of not improving in one’s life but if you just say that is it enough and dig your heels in then you would never be able to see just how far you may be able to go. That is our vain ego talking to ourselves over and over gain. Confidence is one thing but true beauty comes from the humblest of hearts. Beauty bubbles from deep within infecting all those with laughter in your mist. There are those that will always be jealous of your aura those people are easiest to spot. They are like shark infested waters on D day. Only there for their own carnal pleasures that once sustained will forever leave their mark on the imprint of time. For us in my world these sharks prey on the weakest. The ones that need the most protecting as they are just as fragile as they day they were born. Too scared to know who to trust but also to scared to not allow love in. They are broken to what most would seem beyond repair but to the right heart who is gentle they will help them find their way.

The most basic definition of life as defined by Webster’s Dictionary is,
“the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.” Growth and reproduction are two that are probably most out of our control. But functional activity and continual change is something that should have us all reaching for the stars. The only person who can judge us on these is truly only ourselves. Nobody has the power to grade you anymore outside of school you we allow ourselves to be continuously suppressed forced into mediocre lives that are designed to keep us under their control. We still live in a world where we refuse to see anything other than the colour of our skin. People made up of the exact same energy as me are being executed. You can only call it a public execution when they are left gasping for air staring into the eyes of their killers that our tax dollars paid for. That means for every working American who does not do their part to vote out these atrocious barbaric creatures it is like your finger was on that automatic glock threatening to snuff out an innocent life. We have handed over that power. It wasn’t enough that we couldn’t keep our average citizen safe we had to grind them into the ground of annihilation spewing our thoughts of murderous hate and rage with us. So if the purpose of life is to grow and change; yet we haven’t changed our mentality over the last thousand of years where murder is alright as long as it results in the complete domination of a city or country, does that mean for most of us we have been walking around lifeless since the time of our conception. If you don’t see the problem with another race trying to prevent another race from excelling then you are the problem too. We should all be allowed to change and grow and reach for the stars without some fa bigot knocking us down.

The amount of times I have to get up is non existence to those that tried to live now find themselves 6 feet under the ground. It is not so much of being in the wrong place at the right time when so many got shot. It is being forced to reside in a country that was never designed for you to succeed. A country that continually suppresses their citizens rights to progress in grow in the manner their hearts see fit seems all to communistic to me. Do right by us and we won’t shoot you…today. This is not love and it sure as hell isn’t freedom. The only thing that some care about is absolute power and control. I wonder what their ex’s look like knowing just how domineering these assholes truly are. We don’t get to live forever but it sure would be nice if we get to live it virtually problem free. There will always be pain and their sure as hell will always be some degree of heart. However it doesn’t make much sense for the hands of others to be weighted heavy in order to control others. Every life is precious and every life is intertwined with a deep seeding purpose. Some of us will get to live out those dreams and other’s will be forced into silence. My heart breaks for the lives of so many who appear to be destined to absorb the most pain. How can we rob, cheat and steal from others without having a thread of underlying guilt? It is simply because over all this time we have grown to be too far disconnected from ourselves. Too ashamed about those chapters in our lives that paint is in an unflattering light. Be kind to others, but most importantly be kind to you. Only you know what it will take to to live out of the shadows. Be kind and have faith because the only thing stopping yourself from holding your chin up high is the way that you perceive yourself to be.

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