Do you remember who you were or what you were doing before you had to make that choice between growing up and remaining a kid? It felt like one summer I was surrounded by my cousins planning a way to get to Disneyland and the next minute I was selling them out to run with boys like a true boy crazy diva.  I remember everything about that summer. From the taking of Grandma’s eggs and throwing them on the highway to the sitting on top of the hay bails while my dad and uncle’s loaded up the truck. Sometimes we sat beside my Aunt as she drove listening to her brothers swearing the whole time. Ease up, Mary! Too fast Mary! It was all fun and games and nobody lost an eye and it became even more magical when one of our Auntie’s brought us chicken. Dixie Lee to be exact. That restaurant at the bottom of the hill long gone.

I can’t imagine the allure of temptation for today’s youth.  We grew up in a time were planning was essential. If you didn’t have all that you needed by 5 sometimes 6 on Friday’s you were doing without until the morning came. No late night drive thru’s or convenience stores being  open. Even gas stations would be closed at 10. You really had to invest in the planning of your life. Nothing was handed to you like it is now. We have become sloth like in our existence. Taking for granted the things that our ancestors worked so hard to provide for us. Paving their way through the most volatile times in our history. Ruining in 50 years what it took centuries to build.  Self righteous, over entitled, what is good for the masses somehow evades you as you keep up your charade of corruption stealing from the less fortunate than you.

I hate the wolf that lives amongst us for the whole world to see. We celebrate her victories because she has waited her whole life time to unveil them. I can see through her costume. In fact it is that half witted smile that tells me who she truly is. Where once she would at least try to fit in now she cries these crocodile tears perverting the story to fit her anterior motives. I see you. I still see you. I don’t care how many followers you seem to think you have I hold them accountable just as I hold you. You don’t have the right to pick and chose those who add value to your end goals and shunning the rest. A victim o f abuse is still a victim of abuse no matter if you like them or not. I tend to hold you accountable more than most because you have taken this role on as a saint when I know that you truly are a sinner. I know you sold your soul to the devil. I can recognize him in all that you do. You don’t walk out of the fires onto the embers without earning a scar or two.

That smile has the ability to freeze my blood and have me lost in confusion. I don’t know how others can even stand to be in her presence. Almost every conversation I have ever had was tp speak ill of another woman and I know that this habit is still in effect right up tot his day. I tend to keep my eyes and ears wide open when it comes to shark infested waters. I wish women can be more accepting and celebratory when it comes to each other’s victories. I feel that this idea is just an oxymoron as somewhere it has become a part of our existence to wait on the sidelines for each other to fall. It’s hard to even want to lift my head up and smile at your attempts to make our community safer. Not only have you become the beacon for abuse in every shape and form. You have ridiculed and taunted those that needed help the most and more to that you have made a circle of some of the guiltiest offenders our community has had to offer. I don’t see any of this being a compliment more so as being detrimental to everybody’s overall health as a whole. I still see you. I guess my role now is to become one of picking up the pieces because I will be damned if I sit idly by watching you purposely destroy others.

To waste any amount of energy over somebody who is so vile with their attempts to be human. The story doesn’t unfold the way you want it to just because you have ripped out a couple pages and omitted a few chapters.  Jealousy is the worst quality that infects a person long after the original green eyed monster has begun to take shape.   All I have seen in the space of time that I have known you is a desire for you to lie, cheat and steal your way up to the top. I have yet to see an original thought or even dream come from out of you. Everything that you have become is a regurgitation of somebody else existence. I recognize the leftovers that you consumed from another’s table. You never had it in you to shine on your own merit’s. The flame you so proudly display has been stolen from another’s candle right before  you blew it out. I still see you trying to play sorority president with a house that you just took over. I don’t play these games nor do I care too much for your existence. I care about the lies you tell and the story you keep telling to keep yourself relevant. I was there when you took your first step into this life and I have been present at the lies and laughter you have told at another’s expense. I vowed long ago that I knew what I stood for and nothing could make me back down. You have to stand for something and you have to decide when and what you chose.  I would rather stand alone than be in close proximity of somebody less than a lady harboring lies and deceit. My life’s journey doesn’t include these flaws. Maybe at one point in time it did but not now when my heart is open and I have so much love to give.