There is no doubt in my mind when it comes to life I know I have hit the jackpot. Yes I struggle and I get frustrated and even angry at times and there was even a period where I was adjusting to some medications to help with my mood after pregnancy. In the minutes being ticked down before complete anarchy I can’t help but look around the room and smile and count each and every blessing, sipping my coffee I wonder just how much time I have and what the day would look like. Planning a meticulous outfit for the day ahead event appropriate but in these times usually means sleeping in. I finished my book, Life According to Garp, yesterday and started this new one about not following your passion. I can see points unfolding already but like anything moderation and balance is key. But more to all that we just need to gravitate towards living in a blissful, loving harmony. I think it is garbage that some life’s have been brought into poverty through no fault of their own. Some families are bankrupt because of the emotional and physical wants of just one other. Some days when I hate my husband the most I dream of leaving him or at the very least having one lust filled affair. Truth be told though as much as he gets under my skin the life we are building and the lives that we have saved only happens because of us as a family and seperating would sever that completely. Who knows what kind of financial ruin would ensue. Not to mention emotional damage. There is one thing that I know for sure my husband does not tolerate cheating, nor should he ever have to. In a previous relationship it was done to him so I know how life shattering it would be for him. When my feelings begin to bubble that is when a book falls into my hands answering the question that I am pondering.
I will summarize the part in the book that was a very clear message to me. In the book the wife is having a lustful affair with a student of hers (she is a University Professor who shags a 25 year old student). At the start of the affair she commands him to buy a big ol car that she could lay down on in the front seat. She didn’t want to be seen through out town and it is a small town and people will talk. Garp finds out about the affair (k his name is T. S. Garp and I promise you the how he got his name is well worth the read not to mention all the little details I am missing out. I am trying to just leave in the points.) through a note carrier at his front door by accident one day. He is fuming mad but also has cheated before but the one thing he has done was to always stop the affair when she told him too. He demanded her to call her lover and tell him it’s over. Just like that. No goodbye’s. No last hookups. She begs. He leaves with their two children to the movies. Long story short youngest child gets sick and on their way home they hit the lovers vehicle as the wife is giving him a BJ. Lover loses penis, 12 year old loses an eye, 5 year old dies. So the odds of me cheating or very slim to none. When I put things into a perspective that makes sense to my conscious mind I can understand…maybe relate to things differently there are a lot of things going on around here.
Truth to be told and very, very, very honest. For city living my home is definetly my sanctuary and I need to treat it as such. Some of the things that my husband are very miniscule and let me tell you rather annoying. If I say but here I know people will be like BUT RUBY. Yes, yes I know but Ruby BUT let me tell you I haven’t truly done much. In his eyes he would love to be at home playing with all the animals and our son laughing and having a good time. What he sees when he gets home is us playing laughing at the table anxiously awaiting for us to come home. Usually the house is clean but all it takes is one puppy play sessions, cat terror run, or toddler gone wild and all bets are off. Sometimes days I forget about the laundry because I have a torrid love affair between a Chinchilla and a Skinny Pig to plan. Imagine the Christmas postcards….Just kidding…or I am I? Creatively I am going to take another leap. I am big on living my best authentic life that fully embraces all the lives that live here. Overall my husband doesn’t ask for much? lol Whatever it is. My heart is that of a farm girl and in these morning watching the sun hit my grass in my yard with one or two cats lounging at the window heart is full. Instead of roosters waking us up it’s the howls of the dogs, a very mild irritant considering it is my husband who wanted these dogs in the first place. They are large dogs and are very restless. My husband had this idea that because the one was a senior that the other being a puppy would act like the old one. These dogs have no manners or etiquette when it comes to the house. We have given up on the idea that our furniture is going to be salvaged in any way. I have decided I am going to keep on making couch cushions with discounted fabric. I will just keep recovering it and stuffing it etc. Our lives are fully for our animals hence the tour bus. I had to stop and muzzle the pup, only for a 1 or 2 he barks like a rabid dog at anything at anything that walks by and this soothes him. So I didn’t want to leave him just help get him quiet again with the other dog and the one cat attacked our senior cat acting all tough. The boys are still sleeping and the chaos is at the brim of boiling over and in my head I am thinking what should I wear today. Casual in the morning/afternoon and a costume change in the evening…They are announcing Miss Galaxy Tonight.
When I think about Miss Galaxy and the process and how it felt so different then any other on-line pageant I have ever done so far and I have done a few (9 I think. So there was United, Black and White, Miss Madame, Queen of Cool (4th), Princess , Rainbow, Pearl, Lemon (Queen) and this One. Ha 9!!!) this one was by far my favourite. The unity that came everyday in our chats with each other I truly am going to miss. I know when the names are called 4 of us will be elated and the rest of us crushed. For each and every one of you I want you to know you touched me in ways that move me to reach for the stars and be the best that I can. We are all evolving and looking to shine in our own light. I feel the love that each of you are emitting and I hope you can feel mine. Contest’s like these run by such great women in our community fill my heart and soul to the point where I truly do feel like together we can all just reach for the stars. Pluck them out of the night sky each together and hold them in the palm of our hands. Like wishes and daydreams sometimes it is best to let them go. The true happiness is in the journey and in the process and I had so much fun connecting with each and every one of you. Your friendships have been the prize in this journey. With ladies like you in the Universe I know we have it in us to make great things happen. Thank you for the journey! Two Infinity and BEYOND!!