Perfecting the Grime

The most infuriating thing for me these days is the insensitive way we manage our relationships with each other. Every single one of us deserves to be celebrated for the monumental way we handle each day. We never truly know the hardships that another maybe suffering from. The only truth we know for sure is what lays inside our heart and if our heart is big enough then we should be able to feel joy for all, don’t you think? I have had my share of insensitivities arise these past few days all in various degrees with the potential to hurt the weaker mind.  The most recent example I can think s the crowing of Miss Galaxy last night. After the top 4 were crowned my husband asked if I was mad.  I am not sure if I have ever felt mad over not being crowned. Disappointed sure. But never to the point where I felt angry enough over the results. A contest is a contest and even if you bring your A game you just never know. That is the fun about having a creatively outlet with like minded individuals. The hope is we can create a neutral safe place to celebrate our talents giving us a safe platform to connect with the World.

Whether or not his statement was meant to inflict pain I am not sure. Maybe in regards to another it would have because it is our nature to want to be the best and jealous when somebody else is crowned above us. Maybe it comes in practice because Lord knows I have thrown my tiara in the online pageant ring 9 times lol I find a win feels just as good as watching somebody place for the first time.  Sure I invested a lot of time and money into creating a design and image I thought would captivate the judges mind as well as the audience but can’t we say the same about all competitors. Win or lose the success comes in the confidence it took to submit your application and hopefully the friends you made along the way.

The one-line world comes with its share of online troll’s and bullies. The worst being those that pretend to be your friend but in times of great pain they are the ones that open the wounds to begin with. Sheryl Crown said it best wit , first cut is the deepest. No truer words have ever been spoken. It is those first few words of those we thought had our backs that make us bleed profusely. Imagine watching events unfold before your eyes not knowing what to say. All of a sudden you see yourself in the same predicament of your friends but this time instead of getting sympathy and love you get a lash out.  “You always do things like this for attention.” “Get over yourself, you are too much drama.” It takes a lot to post a status update of controversial nature. I hate posting it because all of sudden those who don’t give a damn suddenly do and you always have those like a heat seeking missile that sets their sights to seek and destroy. Imagine taking the courage to say this is what makes me feel weak and this is how I need help to have those you thought cared say toughen up. At least I know that when I do your friendship will stay by the wayside because who needs friends like that anyways. Sympathize with me when you need it but kick me to the curb when I don’t fit into your idealistic mold.

I suppose we subject our on-line presence to ridicule when we communicate our feelings with those that truly don’t understand. Have marital problems? Get a new one. Relationships need to have dips they aren’t always a vertical road to the same destination with no detours on the horizon. We have dilute our family core to the point where separation is always the answer.  He doesn’t match your Tuesday attire chuck him. Oh he told you to clean the house in a voice you didn’t like? Find one who doesn’t talk back. I have yet to find (k maybe one) a friend who is for the family dynamic. It is crazy how much ridicule comes in when you say you want to stay in a complicated marriage. That before you said your I do’s you made a conscious decision to try with your whole being to make it work. There is a family at stake with lot’s of love and loyalty that shouldn’t be tossed out over opinions of those that you don’t even know. That should be the true indication of how we should not value our relationships. We give this insurmountable value to these people who wouldn’t even have our back if they saw us on the streets. The main reason being they wouldn’t be able to pick you out of a crowd.

My next read, “So Good They Can’t Ignore You”, applies to your career and position in the workforce. I weird choice for a stay at home mom but that is my career. As I flip through the pages trying to absorb any value out of such a peculiar read I can’t help but wonder how this would apply to my marriage if I just took a few steps back and applied the same techniques. For most of you I know what you are thinking find somebody else. There are so many men out there. Yes there are so many men out there with impure intentions. Maybe the way I chose to communicate with my husband is that of an immature young girl? Sure I sit here screaming for attention but what have I done to figure out how his love tank gets filled (the 5 love languages)? Life is short why dedicate a piece of your life for somebody who seems to be so far out of tune from me? At the end of the day we did come together in marriage. For better or worse. Sickness and health. To walk away from him would be to walk away from my family dynamics, all of them. What is happening between us is still a growing period from being two single adults to being one cohesive family unit. So this book addresses your passion and how following it can actually lead to even more depression that you could even know. Imagine without a doubt you followed your dreams only to find yourself penniless and homeless. Now what? Your dream is over. Your passion turned to dust.  The book address the principle that if you do what you love you will never work a day in your life. The idea is put forth is that if you become “So good they can’t ignore you,” (a phrase from Steve martin) that you will find eventual success. Be so good they can’t ignore you….I find my life does feel easier when I accomplish the task that I have set forth with into the day. My life moves smoother when I focus on those that I love doing what I love becoming better and more efficient at what I do. Of course there are chores that I hate because this is a house and certain places of use get grimy but it is my house with my family and my grime so I better perfect my way in mastering it.

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