Living in Vain

We live in a time where we have this incredible opportunity to become something deeper than we ever expected. Truly what are our worries except for each other. We were going the privilege to have had fairytales passed on that are thousands of years old. In fact I think the oldest tale of such is 20,000 years old. Ask yourself why is it that such tales would truly exist unless they were to help guide us in some way. Think of who you are now and what you aspire to be and ask yourself can you see the differences between the tales created then and those created now. Tales had evil sure enough but it usually was from some sort of strange beast such as a dragon or wizard not the terror that we are forced to live with right now. We were handed the greatest gift of life and rather to embrace the journey that unfolds in front of us we have allowed man to pervert it in everyway.

I love to read as it forces me to open my mind in ways that never occurred to me. The fight that we all love to have seems to be backed in some sort of aged holy war where no matter how hard we try there is no end in sight. We can’t force another’s beliefs onto another yet we try in vain and slaughter man innocent lives in the process. As humans we numbed our own instinct so much that we are zombies already. How is that for irony.  We imagine that zombies feast on brains and they actually do. It’s called Hollywood and social media. Something mankind invented to distract us from wanting to discover the truth. Horrific things happen in history. Those are the lessons we need to learn as we progress through life. Stories are there to enlighten us and guide us through. It is beyond silly if you ask me if we believe in something else along the way. There is yet to be a period in time where we find out any answers because we think we already know them all anyways.

What we know for sure is humans existed before Christianity. That is just raw facts that you can’t ignore. With knowledge in hand how can we sit here book in hand and say this is what God says and wants us to do. So here we are murdering innocent people and standing behind a fictitious God because if you were to dig deeper you would find even more books and tales written about other God’s yet we chose to only follow one and teach this book in Church. Again I don’t dispute that Christ existed or Noah or Moses and any of his disciples.  To me it reflects an autobiography of a man who lived in a period where he was trying to lead and inspire those that he lived with. He was born just like us. Read that again. He was born just like us and like us would could chose to live a righteous life filled with love and happiness and a humble resonance of self or we can follow the masses into a deeper destruction that threatens to destroy our souls.

Of course I appreciate the life that I have been given but it is toxic in itself just the same. Where once we valued our family and friends we somehow valued material items more. You have to imagine losing everything you have but realizing that as long as you have those you loved you have lost nothing at all. I have blogged relentlessly at times about my disconnect with my husband.  Opening my eyes and heart wide I could see that some of it had to do with the beliefs that society was forcing upon me. Physical love and lust we almost deem as being the epitome of love and we should honor that and search for that above all else. We sacrifice our families, our careers, even our lives at the thrill of banging bodies with another. I have tormented my own thoughts with this at times and have become incredibly depressed at times. When you allow yourself to succumb to such a narrow view of what it means to be alive of course you will feel this dead weight threaten to take you done. I know that the physical side of a relationship is important but at what cost?

When you are comfortable with the life that you are in and fully accepting of where the cards are falling a weight is released from deep inside you. I wanted so badly to have this torrid love affair but I am so far beyond that now. Love to me is so much more than just one physical act. Even as I made a conscious move away from social media and being distracted I made a deeper commitment to myself.  The things that make me feel great and bring me happiness are the things that bring happiness to others around me too. Nobody get’s enjoyment while watching somebody else stare at their phone. I have been putting my phone on silent and only looking at it a few times throughout the day. On the heels of finishing that book about not living your passion but living by skill I decided to make a better effort at being a housewife. Laugh if you may but I am honest with my disconnect from myself. I am cooking/baking at least once a week (preferably on a Sunday like Mom used to). From cookbooks passed down and not google. What do I care about some random person on the internet. Let me perfect the recipes of my ancestors instead.  When we numb our senses by ignoring our families and friends and the people who love us most we will never find true happiness. The same can be said if you allow yourself to become a mirror image of everybody else. Expand your mind. Release your inner child and don’t be afraid to let yourself shine. The real you. We live in a world where the only thing people seem to care about is controlling death theirs, others and ours. That can’t be right. I will never believe that we were given this beautiful life to torture, contort and conform others.  Rooted through all of us are the millions we allowed to be murdered right in front of our eyes without doing anything. Maybe our hands don’t have blood on them directly but indirectly as we passively sit back and let these monsters dictate our every move. I hate to say this but at least this pandemic gave me the opportunity to truly sit down and open my eyes from tales handed down from others who have lived their lives in vain.

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