Nothing tugs at my heart more than the loss of human potential. Actually what pulls at it even harder is when nobody recognizes the loss. There is a hollow where their life used to be that no time can ever fill. The only thing that runs close is to live a greater existence full of purpose to mend your heart and guide you back to theirs. I have had a lot of time to think about what I think the meaning of life should be. Has anybody ever gotten close to the answers or are we growing further away at an astounding rate. For obvious reasons you have to believe that we are populating the Earth exponentially that you could trace every single one of us back to the same origin. Or at least very similar don’t you think? As a woman I can grow a child in my womb. And growing inside their is the promise of limitless potential always till the ends of time. We inhabit these bodies of matter racing towards this infinite space that we don’t really know what it is till we get there and once we do it will all set in. We either lived defiantly or compassionately in this life but rarely a combination of both. Usually when you live to make another happy you are lying to yourself and if you are living selfishly then others are affected. What should one do then if there is rarely balance? The only way to have true minimal impact on others and on yourself, is to live your life authentically because we all know the truth will set you free.

Coming in tune with your true self is a very painful process. As you allow yourself to become raw from every event in your life that has hurt you, you can rebuild yourself stronger even with a foundation if you let it. I was truly stubborn as an ox when it came to certain people and situations. There never really is a situation right just misunderstandings. What we hate about another is what we don’t understand about ourselves. I can fully admit truthfully that I am jealous of other women. But it is a healthy jealousy that makes me proud to be their friend. Maybe it is their courage, their humbleness or just the general grace in which they present themselves but something inside my sparks the green goddess of envy and I know just what needs to be done. As woman we are so used to hearing compliments from men but nothing ever compares to a sincere heartfelt compliment that is shrouded in rock hard truth. I will tell a lady that I am envious, jealous or whatever you what not but I always finish it with a compliment so that it is not seeded from hate. Isn’t it far better to be truthful then to hide. That is why I refer to her as a goddess and not a green eyed beast. A real women keeps in good company and it is more than fine to be honest amongst friends.

No matter how much I paint the picture that my life is hard it really is not that bad. There are others that have had to face unimaginable horrors that I couldn’t even dream of. Dreams being the understatement these are living nightmares. When I think of the small time that some of our greatest heroes have got to spend with us how can we not hold our heads down in shame. Haven’t we learned our lesson from being a ruthless ass. We manipulated the free will of good people and for what reason and at what cost. I know that we are quick to try and pull the wool over some facts in history. Eliminating some facts, vandalizing the next. If you aren’t willing to dig into the history and the lives of those that gave up EVERYTHING for us will you really absorb anything at all about the true meaning of life. Men gave up their lives to fight in a war to protect our futures. The book I am reading now, Unbroken begins to die into this. These men who fought up in the air had a 50% survival rate. That was just a hard, loose number. Imagine knowing, thinking you are going to die and you go up in that plane anyways. Different mentality, different mind. But like I said before these men and women in this time carried our DNA amongst them. We were here a part of this Earth living and breathing that existence yet we still put up our noses. I think the greatest sin of all should be the lack of basic human compassion. Without even a sliver left in some it relinquishes the nightmares onto the next generations to come so that the cycle can continue.

I guess that is what I am starting to realize. That for every single one of us our purpose is different. Some of us were born to be heroes were put here for a different reason. I know that the unknowing can be terrifying and in some cases paralyzing but there is a reason why those moments fill us with this kinetic energy that makes us feel like we are going to explode. I know for me the closer I float towards my true authentic self the less I worry about the opinions of those that hate on me. I learned a bit ago that hate didn’t look good on me so if presented with this I quickly move along and go on my way. One thing is for sure we weren’t meant to be loved by everybody but maybe if we could begin with loving on ourselves the world wouldn’t be such a scary place.