WE take for granted so many blessing in this World thinking that we are entitled to more. Thinking like this absolves those beautiful souls that lives were amounted to nothing. Just like so many people are subconcisouly doing today.
When most girls were crying over boys I was crying over my best friend writing “baby killer” in red paint on the school wall. She must have got great joy watching me crumble at her expense. I want to trust so badly but I have to be careful at what level I allow somebody in.
I need to recede back to who I once was when times were simpler. I was never meant to follow with the masses burying those in our wake who didn’t conform to our ideology. I think if I wouldn’t have fully understood that I was never born to fit in maybe the whole transition would have been easier.
Some people are so thick in there own shade that they just want to sit there and criticize anybody who’s voice may differ from their own. Judging by the reaction of these mediocre mice one would say that I hit the query on the nose.
Oh gosh not literally. But every time I have a fight with one of those mentioned above I always hear these lyrics by Drake on repeat, “F*ck a fake friend, where your real friends at?We don’t like to do too much explainin’Story stayed the same, I never changed it.” What I love about these creatures…
There are no pastures on earth that would ever make my soul finally feel at ease. I have my son stepping into the roll as my savior making me believe that he is just too young to have to bare this weight and maybe there is somewhere else for me to go. My mental illness brings me so much shame
The only person I need to remind myself of of their importance is me and only me. To stand in amongst the weeds or to be the only flower in the garden of my own serenity. I would rather blossom into my own image confident to stand alone then be accepted by your unreal ideology nothing more than a mindless clone.
Until you have clung on to a dead man trying to breathe in the gift of life your comparison of our struggles mean nothing to me. What I wanted was a friend. What I got was the ultimate betrayal. You win some and you lose some and what I know now is I am so thankful that it is only your friendship that I lost. Anything else I can survive.
All I can say is those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. You may have slapped me in the face but never again. All I ever wanted was a friend, a confidante, somebody to love me and me love them. I want to feel like I belong somewhere and not like I am going to disappear. Somebody, somewhere please hug me I am starving to be loved.
We all tend to linger from time to time. We stay to often where we aren’t wanted in the hopes that things will turn around and end up our way. I let my thoughts wander to people I miss out of sheer loneliness. I am more than guilty of granting too many chances to those that don’t deserve them.