Missing Most of All

We can twist the truth a million different ways but you can’t corrupt fact into faction. In fact the more ridiculous you claim the truth to be the farther from reality you seem. In life there will always be the sinner and the saint and for the most part we relate better with the sinner because they have no honor to live up to. Where common decency used to lie at that is left behind is a trail of victims that you tried to demonize along the way.

My family is my everything and I only need to live my good grace’s by them. It isn’t up to me to decide who is like me. As long as I live right by them then the indifference that comes my way shouldn’t matter. Somewhere along the way true colors get brighter and you either miss what was or can’t believe how long you got sucked into believing in what never was. My latest fall out with somebody I believed to be my friend is executed by my hands. I was already on the fence after some undesirable facts began to surface. In a world full of associates who needs another fake friend to use you as a stepping stone for their muddy puddle in life. We are only human so there is bound to be disagreements, what doesn’t sit well with me is the whispers behind the back and cries of you can never be trusted again! How odd the one who is speaking truths is the one who can’t be trusted. If the other person was a mirror reflecting onto your own insecurities they have already sung then in fact they are warning you that you can no trust them. We have been conditioned to play nice, be nice, try to be everybody’s friend. Unless they are a slithering snake I say leave them outside for the eagle eyed hawk to get.

I never had the courage to stand on my two feet and point my finger and say actually no it is you who is to blame. I tried to stay on the line of indifference until I was pushed over frantically trying to find a side that I could grip a hold onto. Mean girls are the worst because they can never be mean just on their own. They have to gather up a crew of donkeys to do all the digging through the dirt when you keep your nose clean and out of site. These are probably the worst company to keep with none of their own opinions and just following along with no common sense of their own. I want to feel like my life has meaning if not to myself to at least my family. When you become a mother all your other senses get heightened as you try to envision a better world for your child. You begin to eliminate bullies from your own life and look towards emulating the women you have always wanted to be. The complex events that began to chisel away at our character now unveils to witness a beautiful being capable of weathering even the roughest storm. You are only as strong as your weakest link and to the vultures who tried to pick me out of the sky…I will always use my wings to fly.

I don’t need to be liked because I am loved. My house is full of it from the moment we get up there is something or other looking for attention to bask in some love for as long they can. With no words just emotion in a selfless surrender of understanding that binds the two together to the hands of time. There is something so calming and satisfying to be loved in that way by another being that you almost forget where you are in that moment. When we are lost in sleep we need to trust all of our surroundings or how does one heal from the roller coaster of emotion we are subjected to. If we have concern for our surroundings or the neighbor next door it is hard to get any true rest anyways.

These animals have always comforted me when things went south and I was erratical with emotion. Where friends have treated me as an inconvenience they have always let me know that my company is the best place in Earth. I love waking up to a dog at my feet and a cat snuggled in beside me knowing that the love we share is unconditional. We won each other over in a way we could never do as humans, I guess that is what is missing most of all.

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