The Feeling is Mutual

Did you ever have a friend who was just taking up space and time on your timeline but for whatever reason or another you just let them exist. Their annoying posts about their career, ill health and other multitude of depressing facts just grates at your soul. You want to do the unfriend but somewhere at sometime you remember maybe sharing a laugh or two between each other so you hold out hope that maybe those days will once again return. You already know as soon as the thought enters your head that the realm of possibility is fleeting as you grow tired of listening to their complaints. Any time you try to interject a tidbit about what it is you are going through they make it all about them. That’s the problem with social media somebody has to be brave enough to pull the proverbial cord and stop them from sucking at our teat.

Friends for a season is the almost the worst type of friendship out there. Just like in the magical change of the weather and nature as it become reborn so does the purpose others have in our existence. They come to us to serve a purpose that once filled they are no longer necessary to stay by your side in your journey. Maybe it is the isolation that is making these people rise to the occasion but more often your tolerance begins to bubble over as you yourself wonder just how much longer you can hold on. So many of us are still hooked on popularity thinking that the bigger the circle we have the luckier you are. What I find about big circles is similar to the whisper game where one person whispers a sentence to the person beside them then down the line to the next. The point of the exercise is to see how much the original sentence has changed. Your essence, your being, your persona gets diluted with the more impervious facts you surround yourself by. Spend enough time with the person obsessed with all the negative drama around her and you will come out to be just like her.

Are we surprised when people we thought were friends remove us from social media or are we relieved that they just come to be another person we used to know? When I look back about events that we had attended to together I thought we were friends but now it also feels like her presence in my life was the gateway to allow more evil in. She was present when I was slut shammed at a volunteer performance. Looking back I think she was present most of the time I was reduced to tears. Logic says that now we aren’t able to have any bit of a social circle she has deemed me as collateral damage better to forget about then to include. Her claim to fame is the way that she has an opinion about everybody else but herself as she has no troubles telling anybody who will listen anything that she knows.

I wonder if people who disappear from our lives realize that we often wished we could do the same thing. What stops us from actually hitting that enter key and vanquishing you from our lives forever is that we one day hope that the friendship we shared would one day return. That as we aged we would find a comfort in the history we shared as we regaled about days long passed over a spot of tea. Although differences have separated the bond that once was we never want to give up hope that the person we once loved would one day return. You though you wanted to slip away like grains of sand through my finger making me feel that any memory we shared was just garbage to you. Of course I am sad that your presence is gone but if I have to be honest I would have to say it is for the best. If I had only known how much your dislike for me has grown I would have talked to you outright. I valued you enough to have you as a guest at my wedding and you pay me back by trying to disappear. Trust me I noticed when you left from my space because you are always someone I took special care to notice. I always knew you were teetering on the hedge hence my nose to the grind attitude so I can ry and help you get out of the position you were in. I am not a selfish person and I have been working as hard as my butt and mind can process to try and make our world a better place.

With my thoughts of you no longer in the shadows I can move forth into the world and forget that a friend like you ever existed. Looking back at all the times you made it all about you I guess I am relieved to know I never have to worry about your downward spiral again. Friends like you are a dime a dozen. I can take a walk in any park and come out of it way wiser than any deep conversation I have ever shared with you. I won’t be sad because it is over. I won’t even remember you come next year. Where once you were a ray of light you are now a dark poisonous thundercloud laying in wait to take the next soul down with you. So I guess looking forward he feeling is mutual. You managed to do what I have longed to do since the day I met you. The feeling is mutual darling I am glad you are gone.

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