My Very Last Breath

“Having been obliged to experience themselves as objects, women understand both their need and their capacity for awakening from a living death” They always tell you that the eyes are the windows of the soul. When is the last time you stared deeply into somebody else’s eyes what did you see in them? Is it possible the doorway you seek in the soul realm is that of your own? Staring back at you is in fact your own eye demanding you to take an honest look at yourself. We don’t like to stare into somebody’s eyes lovingly because that would mean that we are trying to take an honest look at ourselves. We know the sins that keep us awake at night. We have the dark circles and lose skin to show for it. Almost like our badge of honour that tells the world how many hours we remain awake at night destined to keep on searching till we find the piece of us that is missing.

“Relating truths of the dead revivified by the necromancy of the imagination.” What I find fascinating is the way my mind works. I am enthralled by the lives that were lived before me and I find it to be the greatest honour if there is a tale of their journey I can read along the way. What better way to learn about how we lived our lives before this moment in time. If there is a mind like mine you begged for the answers to the questions that your mind makes up. I can’t be the only one convinced that the answers we are looking for must have already been revealed. How can there be billions upon billions of Earth’s in habitants and not a single one of us has every felt the Universe’s grace? There are temples all over this great Earth but there is still no hard core facts. I know Jesus was a man but what made us obsessively try to reach the night’s sky. What did those people who were building those temple’s see that we are not privileged too? Was the meteors falling from the sky that took with them the dinosaurs or was it something more sinister? We wanted confirmation that God’s had walked this Earth before us. In the absence of that it is liked we were plucked out of thin air with only our instincts to guide us.

Push your mind to the farthest limits of your imagination and imagine a World that only time has forget. Where once there used to be beautiful King’s and Queens who walked the Earth defending their kingdoms from what they believed to be the wrath of God in the form of dragon’s and beasts. This was a real time where real people walked the Earth trying to grasp even just the basics of understanding of what was being handed down to them. Somewhere along the way the message got distorted and we are getting further away from the truth. We are eliminating facts and putting in our own myth’s. Women were burned for being witches as fast as these King’s would command them to make brew’s and hex’s to forgo all of their enemies. Where are these kingdom’s now for all the black magic they spewed onto the masses? Just like when taking advantage of or abused Mother Nature always has her way.

“Haunted by the persons she might have been, she has been dispossessed not only of meaning and goals, but also of her own identity and power” I like to read. I like to write. I look to look for the answers that are out there somewhere, they have to be. If I feed this obsessive need to educate myself on the habits of those who used to be living I am sure that a pattern will have to be revealed. We all want to ensure our survival for as long as possible unless the going just gets to be too tough. Some lives are left to be lived out damaged and in tatters and that just opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. Why do some people hurt and others have to suffer while they watch what can only be classified as luck of the draw? When we see the lives of others being offered up in power while the rest of us sit amongst the ash it becomes incredibly hard. There is no magic born into each and every day because all that we can see is all the things that we don’t ever have. Material possessions are the birth of the anti Christ. It is these tangible things of separation that makes us do unnatural things.

Wealth in it’s interiority is the root of most evil. I never understood how the poorest of people can have so much faith in something shrouded with so much wealth. Have you ever laid eyes upon a church of great distinction? The amount of gold and jewels that are laid to rest at the base of our belief’s is astounding. If what they are saying is true they wouldn’t want all these riches to harbour their men and women who are meant to do his bidding. The fact that billions are raised to do right by the eyes of God yet there are still billions more with empty bellies, wide eyes and open mouth’s we are doing it all wrong. If Jesus was the man we want everybody to believe he was he would open his doors to all colours, races and ages and would never keep an ounce of gold at his shrine. His living experience was meant to inspire us all. It was meant to get us on the wrong path. We let the tyrant’s publicly execute a man who only wanted to save his people. He was trying to save us from our own sins and our own evil doing but now here we are rotting where we stand.

I no longer have to imagine what it feels like to enter through the gates of hell. I am already here. Every time I try to watch the news are divulge my inner query with worldly events my heart breaks. We are the purveyor of all sins the master of our own minds who are far more content in pushing the boundaries to an evil undoing. If other’s can embrace their own darkness then let me feed of the light. In a world quickly dissolving from all fairytales and magic I will hold on till my very last breath.

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